Between the Lines: the Warwick Semester
by Lily Jacobs
Summary: Ch 9 is UP! "Do you want me to get you drunk?" So... what happened when Serena was at boarding school? This is story of Serena's sophomore semester at The Warwick School in Connecticut, during the nine months before the pilot aired. Slight SxN, SxOC.
1. Prologue and Chapter 1

**Welcome!**

**If you have just started to read this story, this short summary might be useful:**

Set predominatnly at the Warwick School in Connecticut, this is the story of Serena's lost nine months before the Pilot aired. It explores Serena's journey; how she went about building her life back up from the disastrous events which caused her to flee Manhattan, and tells the story of the people and places which helped make her transformation possible. The story is also meant to fit in flawlessly with the tv story line. We have so little about Serena's past that, until the scriptwriters decide to throw some tidbit in, there is no reason why this couldn't have happened.

**UPDATE!! This Chapter was revised on December 21st!** If you have already read this story and feel like going through it again you may find some minor changes - mostly typos and names of minor characters. Otherwise, enjoy!!

*All quotes are taken from Season 1 of Gossip Girl, unless otherwise specified.*

**Legal Disclaimer**

I don't own Serena van der Woodsen, her NYC cohorts or the NYC based storyline depicted in the GossipGirl books or TV show, etc., etc., etc., … Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Swartz, and the CW have that pleasure.

What happens in Connecticut though, that's another story.

Namely, mine!

* * *

**Prologue: Beginning at the end… or is it the beginning? **

**[September, 2007]  
**

Something was vibrating. She could hear the low buzz emitting from somewhere on her cluttered dorm room floor. Yet Serena van der Woodsen waited until the second set of rings before responding. She rummaged around by her bed, finally finding her cell-phone in the back pocket of a discarded pair of Seven Jeans.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Serena?" An older woman's voice sounded on the other side. Of course was her mother, who else would call her at this hour?

"Hey mom. I'm kind of in the middle of something…"

"Serena please..." Lily's voice sounded calm enough, but it was as tight and cracked at the end, the only indications to tell her daughter something was seriously wrong.

"What's up?" Serena asked with trepidation.

"Eric… Eric's had an accident."

"Huh?" Serena sat up on the bed. "Is he alright."

'He's out of danger; the doctors are looking over him."

"Oh my God. What happened?"

"It's complicated…"

"Mom, tell me what happened."

"He… he tried to kill himself Serena."

Serena's hand stopped in mid-swipe of her long blonde locks and a cold hand gripped her stomach. _Oh my god..._

"Serena? Honey? Are you still there?" Lily's voice called across what seemed like a vast ocean of cold terror.

"When?" Her voice trembled.

"This afternoon. I discovered him in time to get him to a hospital."

"And you didn't call me sooner?"

"I wanted to wait until the doctor put him in the clear. He's going to be okay, I didn't want to you to worry."

"I'm coming home."

"That's the other reason I called, he's been asking for you."

"I'll be there as soon as I can… can you call the school?"

"Sure honey, I'll call them first thing tomorrow."

"You'd better call Constance too."

"Oh... of course."

"I love you mom."

"I love you too babe, I'll see you soon."

Serena's hand was trembling so badly it took her a few tries before she managed to click the disconnect button.

The boy on her bed rubbed her shoulder consolingly. "What was that about?"

She paused.

"It's my brother… I need to pack."

"What, why?"

"I'm going home…" She paused, not wanting to voice the inevitabilty she found herself faced with.

"For how long?" The boy asked.

"For good."

"You're going to go back there? What happened to starting over?"

She began to choke up as sobs threatened to overtake her. "I don't have a choice…"

--

_Hey Upper-Eastsiders, Gossip Girl here and I have the biggest news ever! __One of my many sources__ Melanie91 sends us this: spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand, Serena van der Woodsen. Was it only a year ago our It Girl mysteriously disappeared for, quote, boarding school? And just as suddenly she's back. Don't believe me? See for yourselves… (Gossip Girl, Episode 1)_

--

_Why'd she leave? Why'd she return?_

We know this. What we don't know is what happened in between.

* * *

-- -- --

"_I just, I had to go." (Serena to Blair, Episode 1)_

-- -- --

**Chapter 1:**** Serena's bittersweet arrival… nine months earlier. **

**[January 1, 2007]**

The Warwick admissions office was green. That was the first sign Serena consciously connected with not being at Constance Billard. All the offices back there were mahogany, navy and red. Here in Warwick Academy's admissions office everything was green and black upholstery with copper fixtures – classic Connecticut colors, their harmonic beauty meant to sell the school to the prospective families… granted their children could get in. However this January morning the halls and offices were mostly deserted; It was the morning of the last day of Warwick's winter break. Most of the students hadn't even returned, much less the staff, from their families.

Serena eyed the gothic windows. _Hello Hogwarts_, she thought, though she doubted it would be that fun. She had spent the better part of her eighth grade spring trying to convince her mother she would much rather stay at home than go to Warwick, the school that Lily's father had gone to and loved. Manhattan was Serena's world; of course she hadn't wanted to leave the city, her family, and especially not Nate or Blair. Yet now...

Now she was running away from both.

_Irony's a bitch._

She looked at her family beside her. Her mother, Lily, tapped her foot absently into the air beside her on the settee while Eric sprawled in an armchair and punched away at his Gameboy. They had left Claus at the apartment to drag her and her stuff

After what seemed like hours, but in reality was a mere five minutes, a middle aged woman with graying-brown pin-curls and green framed glasses approached them.

"Serena?" Her voice wavered slightly.

"Hey!" Serena stood up.

The woman smiled. "So sorry I'm late, my biology class was a bit rowdier than normal, and… well… you know how it goes."

Serena smiled distantly. _Not really, I'm definitely in Kansas… or The City anymore. _The teachers at Constance Billard were zealous about starting class on time, rowdiness was never an issue. Then again, there were no boys...

"Oh, of course introductions! I'm sorry!" The woman held out her hand to Serena. "I'm Ms. McClux…. A bit of a tongue twister but you'll work around it," she winked. "I'll be your academic adviser at least for the rest of this year. You may have someone new after this one depending on where you live, but in the mean time I hope we can get to know each other well."

Serena smile tightened.

"I'm so thrilled that you found a place for Serena on such short notice." Lily interjected. Ms. McClux turned to her.

"You must be her sister, Lily. So nice to meet you."

"Her mother."

"Oh my. Well, I'd say I'm sorry if it wasn't such a complement," Ms. McClux giggled. Lily gave a wan smile.

"Getting her in, yes. Well, it's obviously not normally done but it was certainly helpful that she had applied and been accepted back in ninth grade; better late than never I suppose.... "Well let's get these bags to your room, shall we?" she said, looking at the duffels on the floor.

"Excellent," Lily exclaimed. "I'll need to let the driver know to pull around so we can unload the rest of the boxes. Does her dorm of road access?"

And they were off, her mother dominating the conversation as usual. Serena and Eric lagged behind, wheeling her bags and laptop case.

They were walking diagonally through a large rectangular court-yard. Unlike most of the clapboarded houses or brick Connecticut buildings they passed on the way up, these structures were all made from sun-bleached sandstone – a remnant from an affiliation with some Yale University architect Serena recalled from the brochure. The facts then started bubbling up like faded photographs. They were walking through the main quad. The guide had explained it all on the official tour she'd had when looking for high-schools back in eighth grade. Warwick was one of the schools that her grandmother insisted she look at, because of her family's connections. _Was that only two years ago?_ Serena thought. The place hadn't changed much. There were still the five main residential buildings – two for boys facing three for girls on long sides. On one end of the quad was Warwick Hall, the oldest building on the campus which housed the administration and a few classrooms. At the other was the library/chapel which was frequently photographed for the school's brochures. Covered walkways encircled all and branched off to other less central classroom buildings, probably built in her Grandfather's time to protect the students from the pre-global warming New England weather. On this particular January morning there were barely two inches of snow on the ground. Benches, trees, and even patches of grass were clearly visible.

_At least the path isn't icy. _Serena thought, as she looked around. Only a few students were outside now, Serena figured most wouldn't come back until later that night, as they would want as much time as possible away on break. There was some movement though - she glimpsed two boys coming out of a nearby building. One took immediate notice of her and stopped for a second to stare before nudging his friend. He looked, shook his head and kept walking.

_How odd._

Ms. McClux raised voice brought her out of her musings.

"This is Blanchcroft House, your home for the next six months." She said, and motioned to the house they were now in front of. They were in front of a middle building, three stories high with three ionic pillars in front.

"Isn't it charming!" Lily exclaimed.

"Indeed," Ms. McClux continued. "Unfortunately the only avalible room was a double here, where she'll be living even though it's a senior house. Her roommate will be a fifth-form too. It's almost never done, pairing a new student with someone in their last year, but again it was the only room we had. It will be rather hard to enforce the normal under-class rules. If you're concerned I can try and work with the deans about alternate arrangements.

"Oh don't worry." Lily protested, giving Serena a knowing look. "Serena's always acted old for her age. I'm sure she'll handle it well."

"All right then." Ms. McClux brushed it off, happy to have one less problem to deal with, and opened the door to let them in. Serena looked back for the boys; they were no where in sight.

The interior was surprisingly bare compared to the building's commanding façade. The bottom floor was split in two by a large staircase; on one side was a lounge deserted by all but two girls watching MTV on an old TV. On the other side was a small kitchen and another door with a copper name plate: Victoria Robinson and Family.

Ms. McClux didn't stop but continued up the next two flights of stairs. Eric followed with one of Serena's bags in tow, but Lily pulled Serena aside.

"You could at least _try_ to show some enthusiasm," she hissed.

"Mom, please…"

"All I'm saying is that you're the one who wanted to come here so badly. It looks odd."

Serena and Lily ascended the stairs to the third floor in a stony silence.

They didn't stop until they reached the last door on the hallway – 308. A wood cutout displayed the name Ashley on the right hand side of the door. The left side had no name, but two small holes gouged in the wood work.

"Here it is!" Mrs. McClux exclaimed.

The room was huge, but it might have been just the fact that it was half decorated. Opposite the entrance was a wall with a couch in between two tall windows. On each of the side walls was a desk with a dresser next to it. Next to the hallway door there was a bunk bed, and further down what must have been a closet. The top bunk wasn't taken. Winter sunlight gleamed off the oak floors and darker woodwork. The room must be facing south.

"Wow!" Serena exclaimed. "She had this big room all to herself?"

"No, Ashley had a roommate most of last semester, a fourth-form and one of my advisees, but then she was transferred" Ms. McClux did not elaborate.

_Hmm... strange. _Serena thought.

"So she was a junior?" Serena casually interjected.

Yes, juniors are called fourth-forms at Warwick, seniors are fifth-forms, and you, of course, are a third-form. The numbering system might seem a little off, as one starts off as a second-form today, but the eighth-grade was removed some time ago. The labeling just stuck around as an old Warwickian tradition. You'll find there's a lot of that left over here." She smiled reassuringly at Serena's slight frown, mistaking the roommate-related puzzlement for concerned confusion

_I wonder why she left…_

"Oh… hello."

The voice belonged to a rather short girl with close-cut cropped, dripping wet red hair who had just come into the room. She was wearing only a yellow bathrobe and holding a shower tote.

"And here's you're new roommate now." said Ms. McClux.

"Ashley Elizabeth Crawford, that's me." The girl drew a rather tight smile and walked across the room. She pulled a shirt and some pants out of the far drawer before turning to Serena.

"The desk and other set of drawers are empty, and I cleaned out half the closet, so help yourself Serena. If you'll excuse me I need to get changed. I'll see you later!" She exited the room without a backwards glance

"Bye!" Serena called after her.

"Well she seems like a nice girl." Lily said.

Serena nodded. "Yes..." Yet something puzzling about her still nagged at her brain.

"Well, I'll just leave you to get settled then." Ms. McClux said and turned to Serena. "Formal dinner starts tonight, but as it's your first night here I figure I'd take you to dinner if that's alright. It's a little tradition I do with my new advisees. Afterward we'll drive into town and see about getting you the uniform."

Serena tried to rally enough energy to sound convincing. "That sounds great!"

It worked. "Alright, see you in the lobby at six then." Ms. McClux turned briskly and left the room.

Serena's smile dropped a bit. It wasn't even noon yet already she was exhausted. Where would she find the strength to unpack all her stuff? Her driver arrived then with the last of her bags.

Lily eyed her daughter uncertainly. "Do you want us to help you unpack?

Serena thought about this for a second. With her mother's keen sense of organization it would probably get done faster if she helped, but no. This was her new life and unpacking would just have to be the first thing she got used to dealing with on her own.

"Oh, no thanks I've got it."

Lily sighed, "Well, I guess this is goodbye then." She turned to embrace her daughter tightly.

"Be good sweetie," she whispered.

Serena hugged her back as unexpected tears threatened to escape. The heavy bulk of her decision was beginning to hit her; she didn't think it would be this hard. "I love you mom."

"I love you too. I'll call you when we get into the city, okay?" Lily's eyes glistened as she let go, memorizing her daughters face one last time before walking down the stairs with the driver, leaving Eric to say his good-byes.

_Eric..._ Serena hadn't been able to face him the whole trip until now. And now… the weight of her decision hit her. She knew leaving him would be one of the hardest things they'd both ever had to deal with. But before she could say anything, Eric broke in.

"You don't have to do this, you know. We could just tell everyone you moved to Venezuela and you could hide out of the apartment subsisting on cheese doodles." Eric and his jokes, how she would miss them.

Serena laughed, "But with my appetite we'd buy out all of them, and then what would all those poor men at the Rockefeller rink games eat? Seriously, you're going to be fine without me."

Eric's smile wavered. "I'm not so sure."

"Oh, come on!" Serena rolled her eyes. "You can handle Mom; you've been doing it since forever."

"You mean… since right after you reached 13 and figured out it was easier on both of you if you just stopped talking when you started on anything important. Seriously, Serena, are you sure you want to do this?"

She grabbed him in a bear hug. He barely came up to her chin then, but knowing him he'd force himself to taller to spite her the next time they saw each other. "You know I have to," she whispered in his hair. He didn't know everything, but he knew enough to understand.

He returned her hug but remained silent. When they finally pulled apart his eyes were misted over too. Yet instead of tears he retorted with his wit. "Well, you know of course that this means I'm going to turn your room into my bowling alley."

She laughed, "I thought you hated bowling."

"Come on, with you and your inebriated antics gone I figure I need to find _something_ to entertain me."

"Well then YOU need to come visit me so I can whoop your ass!"

"You can try …" He said as he walked towards the door, looking one last time over his shoulder. "Good-bye Serena."

"Au revoir!" She called after him as the door drifted closed.

And then she was alone.

Standing in the middle of the room among three oversized duffels, one cardboard box and her laptop case she allowed let the piled up exhaustion and loss crash over her body. Once she was sure her parents were gone she allowed herself to crumple to the floor and weep, for once not caring who heard her. At last she could begin her life anew, no past to haunt her here, no Nate to tempt her again. Alone now, she had no choice but to move forward.

But still she let the tears fall.

And strangely enough, as she lay there sobbing amongst the remnants of her former life, understanding slowly dawned on her; she realized her meeting her roommate had seemed so strange.

Ashley never asked for Serena's name.

* * *

**More to follow, feedback is much appreciated. I'm hoping to update once or twice every month. **

**Your thoughts are greatly appreciated! Could you see this happening?**

**Yours,**

**Lily Jacobs **


	2. Chapter 2: The Countdown to Tomorrow

**Sorry about the wait. Hope you enjoy!**

**---**

**[Monday: January 1, 2007]  
**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 2: The Countdown to Tomorrow**

_S: "AAARG! I can't find anything in here._

_L: Well it might help if you unpacked. Look, you're home now; it's your life! You should start living it…_

_S: No, this is not life. THIS is a hotel...!"_

(Serena and Lily, Episode 2)

-- --- --

The unpacking took forever.

It wasn't even that she had brought that much with her; she had left so suddenly that she had had little time to go shopping... not that she would have been in the mood anyway. She only brought a few duffel worth of clothing, towels, and bedding; a box of shoes and accessories and another box of odds and ends. School supplies she could buy at the school's store and anything else could be ordered online and delivered with her Mom's Platinum MasterCard.

But she still had to unpack it all. The hour crying on the floor had left her drained; when she finally peeled herself off the hardwood to start unzipping her bags she discovered to her great annoyance that in her packing frenzy all her clothes had been thrown into the duffels helter-skelter, and would have to be refolded before being put away.

Serena sat back on her haunches and gazed in disgust at the bare white plaster above her dresser. She hadn't even thought to bring posters.

She had, however, thought to get a new cell phone: a shiny Cingular Razor that felt cool to the touch as she plugged it into the wall. She reasoned to her mother that, while her LG Chocolate worked fine City, she had heard the carrier had spotty coverage in East Ridgewood- the town the Warwick School was in. The real reason, and one she didn't mention, was that she wanted a new cellphone number.

By 3:00 the room still looked pretty bare but she was down to her last box, still with no further glimpses of Ashley. The noise from the hallway had started to pick up though. Slamming doors, high excited female voices, the softer ones of parents, and the occasional squeal bespoke the boarders had started to return.

Using her nail file in lieu of the scissors (she made a mental note to get one at the bookstore, amongst some dozen other items she had taken for granted while living at home but had not thought to bring), she opened up the last box on her floor. Inside were a scattering of personal objects that she had thrown in on a whim to make her room seem homier. Pulling out a Moroccan scarf, she tacked it to the wall behind her bunk. The small tiffany lamp that had always sat next to her bed at home she put on her desk, well away from the edge. A few of her favorite books went on the shelf above it, near the Brown-themed wall calendar she had gotten for Christmas. A few other odds and ends she spirited away to different corners of the room.

Finally there were only three objects left in the bottom of the box, wrapped in tissue paper. She unwrapped the first fully - it was an ancient framed Christmas photo with her, Eric, and both of their parents. This she put on her desk next to the lamp.

She sunk to the floor to reach for the last two. She unwrapped enough of the first to smell a sandalwood frame and didn't bother to unwrap father. She remembered the picture well enough: this was the cameo of her, Nate and Blair taken on Nate's yacht last summer. It was shot at an odd angle, their backs were all to the camera as they waved hello to the New Jersey shore.

The lump started rising in her throat as she held the last package, and again she didn't need to unwrap it to know what it was. She was holding a photo of her and Blair was taken the last day of freshman year. Blair had had two prints made and put it in matching silver Tiffany frames, giving one to Serena and keeping the other beside her bed. They were so happy, so carefree… so innocent. The mere thought of the bond this token symbolized, the bond that she had broken, nauseated her with the guilt attached.

A patter of flip-flops sounded in the hallway and drew nearer. Hastily making up her mind, Serena shoved the two frames still in their wrappings into the bottom drawer of her desk and turned around just in time to see her roommate walk in. Ashley was now fully clothed in a light green sweater and jeans, and holding a rumpled towel.

"Wow" she said, checking out the room. "You certainly unpacked fast. Is this it?"

"Yeah," Serena responded, unsure if the remark was belittling. "I didn't have a lot of time to bring stuff."

"Trust me, it's for the best. My first year here I brought way too much stuff. I could barely fit it all in one car and didn't end up using half of it." Ashley said, approached her desk and hanging the towel on the chair. Serena took a moment to study her. She seemed nice enough.

"I don't know…" Serena sighed. "There's a lot of stuff I should have brought… like scissors."

"Have you been to the school store yet?"

"No, I just finished unpacking and was going to take a nap. Though if you need the room…"

"No," Ashley said, shaking her head. "It's only that the bookstore closes at five, so you might want to hurry."

Serena looked at the clock, which read 4:40, and groaned. "I don't even know where it is!"

"It's simple. Just come out the way you came, and follow the path to the right. You'll go into a set of double doors and to your left the supply store will be." Ashley went to the window and pointed to one end of the quad. "It's in that building."

"Thanks." Serena said, grabbing her wallet and new student packet and heading to the door.

"No problem," Ashley replied. "Are you coming to dinner?"

"No, Ms. McClux is taking me out."  
"Well, I'm headed for practice. I guess I'll see you tonight?"

"Sure." Serena paused at the door. "I know this is going to seem like a random question, but… have we met before?"

Ashley looked confused. "No... Why?"  
"You just… you knew my name when I came in."

"Oh, yeah… sorry we didn't get a proper introduction but," Ashley looked at the clock again. "I'll have to explain later if you want to get your books before class tomorrow."

"Right…" Though unsatisfied, Serena booked it out the door.

Following Ashley's directions she came to a small side foyer in the long main academic building. Pausing for a second to take in her surroundings, she could barely make out two voices above the clicking of heels on the black and white marble flooring. A carved wooden sign proclaiming 'School Supplies' hung above the door where the sounds seemed to be coming from.

She walked in the door. It wasn't much of a store really, just a long counter with a few display cases and a door leading to the back. Looking through a display of Warwick Academy mementos to the counter on the other side of the room, Serena could see a tired looking woman sitting next to the cash register talking heatedly to a boy with jet black hair wearing a navy sweater who was leaning over the glass casing. Serena hung back at the entry way, it looked like they were in the midst of an argument.

"I'm sorry Jack, but I don't think there's anything we can do."

"All I'm asking is if you have another one."

She gestured to an item in between them which was hidden from Serena's vantage point. "The design is out of production."

"You don't even have some on layaway?"

The lady's eyes turned towards Serena's but she made no pause in conversation. "It was very popular last year, as you may remember."

"Yes, every boy and his father were wearing it to graduation. Even so…" The boy turned quickly towards the shelves, sensing an observer. His green eyes were bright but surprisingly hard, and Serena found her self flinching at his gaze. The tie they were discussing came into view. It was a forest-green and black design. A thin yellow line cut across the middle.

"Even so," the boy continued. "I really like this tie and I want you to check again. I gave it to my father last year, and I'd like to surprise him with a mustard-free version when he returns for the Hanover game."

"I really don't think we have another, but I'll look one." The lady said as she went into the back.

"Have you tried pinning it?" Serena asked, finally emerging from behind the shelving.

"Pardon?" The boy looked at her, the annoyance not hidden in his voice.

"Why not use a tie pin?" Serena picked up the tie and pointed to the stain. "The line's rather thin; a small tie pin should cover it in the right place."

"I suppose it might work… if my father didn't hate wearing tie pins." The boy spat back.

Under his patronizing stare Serena could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. "Sorry… I was just trying to help."

He took a moment to size her up again, and then his gaze softened a bit. "You must be the new girl."

The tension Serena had been holding in all day exploded in a groan of exasperation. "_Why_ does everyone keep saying that???"

"Simple." He replied nonchalantly, "You're a novelty."

She glared at him, razed by his rudeness. "It was a rhetorical question."

He countered. "I never claimed to be right."

"But you think you have all the answers."

He spread his arms in a wide theatrical gesture. "And it is there, fair lady, that you would have judged me accordingly. I applaud you in fact. Mere minutes in my presence and you have me figured out to a whisker."

She was a bit taken aback. "…that's a joke, right?"

He shrugged. "I prefer to think of it as witty banter. It simply sounds less… plebeian."

Serena shook her head.

"He's always like this," the lady behind the counter offered, coming back in from the storage room. "He worked with me last semester, and I got my fair share of his 'witty banter,' or ill-disguised sarcasm if you ask me, at eight every morning. The trick is to not encourage him, but you'd better escape while you can." She winked.

Serena burst out laughing. This was too much. Was this what living with oversexed teenagers 24/7 did to the human brain? Was this ridiculousness a defense mechanism? She didn't care, or maybe she even caught some of that bug but she just kept laughing. The spasms helped ease the ache in her chest better than the hour she had spent crying on her floor.

"Easy there", the boy reached out to steady her as she started to tip over from laughing so hard. After nearly falling she finally had the sense to sink down on the floor. It took her another minute for her to calm down. The boy waited, eyebrows raised in incredulity, until she was gasping for breath and cleaning the tears out of her eyes to continue.

"I must confess," he continued, "I didn't my predicament was that funny."

I'm… sorry," Serena said, trying to avoid giggling at this new outpouring of sarcasm. "I'm Serena van der *hic* Woodsen." She finally gasped, holding out her hand to him.

"Nice to meet you. My name's Jackson Charles Montgomery the third." He grasped her hand, but instead of shaking it he pulled her to her feet. She couldn't avoid his penetrating gaze.

"You can call me Jack."

Another arm was stuck out in front of her. "And my name's Patricia." The lady behind the counter said. "Nice to meet you, and if you want to purchase anything today I suggest you start now because we're closing in ten minutes."

Jack kept up most of the conversation until they were out of the store, where after looking at her schedule he realized they were in the same history class and provided her with a ten minute sermon on the utterly banal quality of Mr. Schope's lecturing. Serena was weighted down with bags as they began their walk back to the quad, but Jack offered no help.

"So, where are you living?" He finally thought to ask.

"In Blanchcroft."

"Odd. I didn't think they had any empty single rooms there."

"I'm not in a single." She said, switching one of the heavier bags to the other hand. "I'm rooming with Ashley Crawford. Do you know her?"

She needn't have asked the last question, at the mention of her name Jack's eyebrows shot up. "I see."

She walked in silence, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, she decided to needle him with a little of his own acidity.

"…that's it? Not going to share any of your omnipotent knowledge with me?"

"I could, but the godliness of my information would destroy you," he chuckled. "Seriously though, I can't speak from personal experience. I mean, I know who she is; she's a year ahead of me. But I've talked to her maybe twice."

Serena shook her head. "That's so weird."

"Well, welcome, my dear, to the BS of boarding school. Everyone knows your business, and if you don't want to die of boredom you'd best get up on theirs too."

"It's not that." Serena let the rhythmic swinging motion of the heavy bags propel her down the path. "My school had its fair share of gossip, trust me, but knowing so much about someone and never speaking to her? That's what's so weird."

"Warwick has nearly 600 students. Did you know everyone at your high school?"

"My old school had barely thirty girls per grade."

He let out a low whistle. "The cat-fights must have been epic."

"You have no idea." She smiled slightly at the memory of some of those moments, and then remembered that defining moment which caused her to leave. Her smile quickly faded.

They stopped abruptly in front of her dorm.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." She began awkwardly.

"Good thing it was nice, as we'll be meeting in a small room with Schope for an hour each day for the rest of the semester."

She brushed it off. "It can't be that bad."

"Oh, you'll soon see he is." He gave her a knowing smile tinged with enough coolness to make her spine tingle. "As for you, I can tell already you're going to be hard to figure out. Good thing I enjoy a challenge."

She raised an eyebrow and took a step towards the door, which he finally obliged her by opening.

"Yes, I think I'm going to enjoy getting to know you Serena van der Woodsen" he said softly as she passed.

And as the door closed behind her she could only hope he didn't get to know too much.

* * *

"_Mom please! Look, all I want is to do is just finish high-school in peace and go away to a state with lots of people who don't know who I am and just start over…"_

(Serena to Lily, Episode 3)

-- --- --

It was almost 11:00 by the time she returned from her evening with Ms. McClux. The dinner was nice, if a bit long. Ms. McClux did most of the talking with Serena asking the occasional question. The store they had initially visited to get her uniform had claimed to be out of them, and the resulting round trip to the main Hartford store (with traffic) had added another two hours to their journey.

Back outside her dorm room now, Serena opened the door quietly when she didn't see any light coming from underneath. She took a few seconds to listen for her roommate's presence before dropping her bags and making her way across the darkened room. It took a few stumbles around in the dark to find her dresser where she quickly undressed to toss on an old t-shirt. After changing she angled her body up onto the second bunk, but it was the creaking of the old wooden bed frame that finally gave her away.

"Mmph…welcome home." Ashley yawned from below.

"Sorry," Serena whispered. "Did I wake you?

"Not really."

"Sorry."

"You can turn the lights on if you need them."

"No… I'm all set."

"S'cool." Ashley yawned again.

There was a few moments of silence before Ashley cut in again, less tired than before "Oh, and sorry about before,"

"Pardon?" Serena asked.

"That whole thing about knowing your name. You're from Constance-Billard right?"

Serena went cold, pausing as she tied her long hair back. "Yeah?" _How much does she know?_

The bed squeaked as Ashley turned around underneath her before continuing, "Yeah, well one of my friends… her dad works in admissions and she told me we'd have a transfer student from there. The dean emailed me a few days ago to tell me you'd be rooming here."

"Word seems to travel fast around here," she said.

"Well, yeah. I mean, there might be 600 kids living here, but we never get someone new in the middle of the school year. The last time that happened it was a Katrina refugee.

"Ah…" Serena relaxed a little and settled into her bed.

""Though, I have to confess I also Google'd you.

Serena nearly choked on her yawn. "Why?"

"Curiosity. I like to know who I'm rooming with."

"…find anything interesting?"

"Not much, other than some stuff on this website called Gossip-chick or something. Seemed like you were having the party of your life out there."

Serena buried herself under her goose-down comforter and a small weight lifted itself from her shoulders. "Yeah, well, I had my moments…" _And that's all you need to know._

"Don't we all…" Ashley trailed off. "Well, I should probably let you get some sleep. You'll meet the rest of the masses tomorrow."

"Ok…good night."

The room was silent again as they both settled into their private musings. The only light that pressed itself into their windows came from the occasional security vehicle making its night-time rounds.

And just before she trailed off, Ashley mused in little more than a whisper, "Hey, remind me to ask you sometime about life in the big city..."

Serena kept staring into the darkness. The hours ticked by, but exhausted as she was the darkness could do nothing to distract her from the memories of the faces of those she left behind which paraded before her inner eyes in a sickening parade. Eric's as he left her in her dorm room, Blair's at the wedding when she told her to get some air, Nate's surrounded by a drunken and lust-filled haze, Georgina's – so scared... and Pete's.

Serena's eyes filled with tears. There was no going back. All she could do was run away to this place in a self-declared exile that was to be her penance.

She could do nothing to erase the past.

_But what about the future?_ A little voice in her head nagged at her, rising over the tide of guilt.

She turned over in the bed, clutching a pillow to her stomach.

All she knew how to be was the girl she was in New York: the party girl, wild and crazy who danced on tables and skipped more classes than she attended; the one who would dull whatever ache she carried that day with champagne and vodka, waking up with little or no memory of the night before.

Not that _that_ girl would have cared…

But after waking up that morning in December, could she say _she_ no longer cared? No, the hangover might have been bad that morning, but it was nothing in comparison to the crushing realization of what she had done.

No, she wouldn't be that girl anymore… but that didn't mean she knew who she would be now either.

And with that she drifted off.

* * *

**Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated. **

**All of my author notes and updates are posted on my profile, for those interested.**


	3. Lovers Interlude I

**A short, but oh so sweet update.**

**If you feel like setting a mood, please feel free to listen to "Photograph" by Air. (It's the song that plays in the background during this scene in the TV series.)**

* * *

**Chapter 2.5: Lovers' Interlude**

"What are you guys doing???"

(Blair to Serena and Nate, Thanksgiving Flashback)

_From the seclusion of the balcony Serena watched the blonde girl struggle to keep her balance. __December sunlight streamed through the two-story gothic windows behind the bar. The wood of the mahogany bar should have been cold under the blonde's feet, but she didn't notice it; she was more than tipsy from the few glasses of champagne she downed before the waiters at the reception were replaced by a cash bar. That's why she was here, of course; she wanted more but the bartender was carding._

"_Hurry up! You know we're not supposed to be in here…" called the boy standing below the blonde as he tried to wrestle a bottle of champagne away from her... not that he was trying too hard._

"_Let me see it…" She continued to elude him, until finally he managed to grab hold of the bottle. The cork burst and champagne flew everywhere. _

_They laughed…_

"_Come here…"_

…_and then she slid into his lap._

_Serena turned away from the scene, hands shaking. The incident had happened barely two weeks ago but she had forced herself not to dwell on it; not once had she let the act replay itself in her head, or let herself hear the words that he said. She didn't have to watch her drunken antics now._

_Yet seeing it again made her heart ache none the less._

Friggin' champagne,_ she thought._

"_Now you're just in denial." A suave male voice replied, echoing throughout the deserted corridors._

_Serena froze. _Where had _that_ come from?

"_Turn around," he spoke again._

_And there was Nate, leaning on the balcony railing in the tux she had last saw him in. His eyes were as blue as ever._

"Nate… what…?" _Serena asked, flustered, backing away from him._

_He didn't seem to see her, he just gazed over the balcony. "Man, that was something, wasn't it."_

"I don't know Nate… I was pretty trashed."_ She responded shame-faced. She couldn't look at him anymore. Yet with that admittance he finally turned to face her. _

"_It wasn't just the champagne and you know it." He said softly._

"Nate, please..."_ She turned away from him so that he wouldn't see her face buckle under the emotion that was threatening to overcome her. Yet she he felt so hollow, she knew no tears would come. . Her shoulders began to shake._

"_You know I meant it." He probed._

"Nate, I can't…"

"_I love you Serena." He said it freely, nonchalantly, as if it were the easiest thing in the world to say; as if the utterance wouldn't destroy the life of the petite brunette they both loved dearly._

"_I've always loved you." He repeated, coming up behind her._

"Nate…"

_He closed the divide, his arms encircling her waist and resting on her stomach. He just held her there, with his head buried into her hair. Truthfully, she wasn't one much for foreplay, she usually started undressing as soon as she was alone with the boy of her interest. Yet this time… _

_No one had ever held her as Nate did now, hell no boy had ever cared for her as much as he had even in the platonic stage of their relationship. And now in his loving embrace, she felt more complete than she ever had. _

_Did she love him?_

I can't…

_Of course she did._

"_I know…" He turned her around. His hands cupped her face as he forced her to look at him. His eyes had changed; gone was the lust of their last meeting, gone was the longing of the months before. Tenderness and love were all that was left._

"_It's okay Serena… I know."_

_And then, still holding her face, he kissed her. With this simple gesture all her resolve melted. The kiss was not frenzied or demanding like the last and only time they were together. It was more powerful than that, but the power was founded in gentleness rather than need. The kiss burned through to her core, warming her like liquid chocolate: dark and sweet. The kiss was…_

"Perfect…" _she whispered, kissing him back._

_Gently brushing her hair aside and reaching for her waist he deepened the kiss. She responded in kind, not demanding anything, just basking in the glow of his love. No boy she had ever been with could compare to this moment._

"It was perfect…"

_He gripped her tighter._

"_Serena?" A female voice resounded across the arched recesses of the library. It sounded vaguely like…_

Blair?

_The world around her started to blur; the pressure of Nate's embrace began to fade. _

"_Come on Serena!"_

_The sunlight streaming in through the windows became blinding._

"_Seriously Serena!_ You need to wake up!"

She blinked. Ashley was standing before her, fully dressed with a concern frown on her forehead.

"Didn't you set an alarm? It's almost eight o'clock; classes start in fifteen minutes."

* * *

**R&R always appreciated.**

**Yours,**

**Lily Jacobs  
**


	4. Chapter 3: Harsh Warnings and Mistaken

**And you thought I had abandoned it... Well, summer's come and the season's over (leaving me, personally, unsatisfied) and though we've learned more about Serena's past than ever, still no word about that lost semester. Sorry for the wait, but I hope that this chapter will be worth it.**

**--**

**[Tuesday, January 2]  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Harsh Warnings and Mistaken Invitations**

_"I can't believe I just did that. Blair's my best friend, what sort of person does that to her best friend?"_

(Serena during a flashback, Episode 17)

-- -- --

"Oh God, is it three o'clock yet?" Serena asked as she plopped down into the rickety wooden seat.

"Nope, but you've got only one more class to go." Ashley replied, putting her tray down next to Serena's. They had just returned from their fifth period Biology class. The Warwick dining hall was very crowded, as everyone had the same lunch on Tuesdays. Serena took a second to look around and admire the beauty of the room. The tall south facing gothic windows let in lots of light; the vaulted ceilings and white stone walls reminded her of the Great Hall out of the Harry Potter films, though they were not really as tall. There appeared to be about thirty dark brown tables spaced out on the marble floor. There were even copper candelabras on the walls along with the walls (electric) and a marble fireplace (old-fashioned).

If only the food was looked nice as the facilities, Serena thought, tucking into the Asian Stir-Fry and snow peas that a sour-looking server had slapped onto her plate.

"Yeah, the lunch pretty much sucks." Ashley said, reading her thoughts. "But the dinners are pretty decent. The salad bar's improved too, at least since I was a freshman."

Serena nodded absentmindedly, not really caring… she was ravenous.

The morning had passed in a whirl. She had gotten to her first class (French) ten minutes late and received a harsh stare from the bespeckled Paris-bred teacher. She had missed breakfast completely, though Ashley had given her a Nutrigrain bar so she wasn't starving until the middle of second period – which unfortunately was English, the class she hadn't read for. After a one period break she had Algebra II and Chemistry in immediate succession. None of them were considered Advanced Placement as Warwick did not believe in such arbitrary distinction; instead, all of its classes were assumed to be honors-level. Even though Constance was a well-ranked school, Serena had only taken regular level-classes there and thus found herself behind the Warwick pace in several subjects. The homework load was even heavier here ("I think they give us more work to make sure we're too busy to stay out of trouble," Ashley had commented at one point, after Serena they received a full chapters worth of Chemistry problems due the next day.)

Serena also noticed that though they had grabbed the last empty lunch table no one joined them. In fact, the green and black uniformed students seemed to go out of their way to circumvent the table all together.

How odd, she thought. Though some girls at the neighboring table stared openly at her, but no one so much as glanced at Ashley.

Then, through the melee of students coming through the entrée station, Jack approached with another boy trailing behind him.

"Hey Serena," he said and swung into the seat, setting down his tray piled high with Stir-Fry, peas, a cheeseburger and two glasses of chocolate milk. The second boy hesitated a moment before putting his tray, much less laden, next to Jack's.

"Hey", Serena replied.

"So you know Travis? He's in your class." Jack nodded towards the newcomer.

He was the same boy who Jack had been talking to on the Quad. He gazed unabashedly at Serena, who finally noticed and smiled at him.

"Nice to meet you," she said.

He turned bright red and hastily looked down. "Nice to meet you too," he mumbled.

"And I'm sure you all know Ashley." Serena continued.

Ashley waved with two fingers, taking her lettuce out of her sandwich and not looking at them.

Jack nodded absentmindedly in response. He turned towards Serena. "So how's your day been?" he asked.

"Fine."

"That bad, eh? What do you have next?"

"Ah…" She consulted her schedule. "Painting." That at least was new. She had never picked up a paint brush but it was the only elective with room left, and her adviser had been very clear that she needed it to fill her electives.

"You'll have Julie then, excellent." He nodded knowingly. "I had her last year. Watch out, she's an easy enough grader but she'll push you and deduct if she doesn't think you've worked hard enough."

"Doesn't sound that easy, but you at least liked her, right?"

"Not really, but she got me to look at things differently. You don't realize the value of classes like that until you're done with them."

"I liked it." Travis finally piped in.

"I guess I'll have to wait and see then…"

A few more of Jack's friends came to join them and the conversation soon turned towards more introductions over the lousy lo-mein. Through it all Ashley stayed rather quiet to the point where, when she finally left the table, Serena felt she was the only one who noticed.

A few minutes later another boy sat down in Ashley's empty seat. He was friendlier than the rest and introduced himself as Josh. Because of his bleached-out hair and varsity jacket Serena was able to label him a swimmer. They made small talk for a few minutes, until finally he started, "I can't believe you're friends with her!"

"Who?"

"Ashley."

"Why?"

"The bitch is crazy." He said vehemently.

Serena was a bit taken aback by this. Teenage girls might be prone to catfights and vicious opinions, but in her experience guys of the same age were a lot more laid back. But the malice with which Josh spoke made her re-think that assumption.

"She seems normal enough to me." Serena countered, though she knew it was a feeble defense.

"She got Maria, who happened to be her best friend, kicked out of school last semester. They even roomed together!"

Serena was quite taken aback. "She was her roommate?"

"Yeah", he eyed her." How'd you meet up with Ashley anyway?"

"We're roommates."

He let a low whistle. "I guess you'd better watch out then."

Another one of the guy drew him into a side conversation and Serena was left alone with her thoughts. His description of Ashley didn't fit with the unreserved expert on everything Warwick that she had shown to her.

_Then again, I didn't think I was capable of… _she dared not even finish the thought; she just didn't know what to think.

* * *

_B: "Oh God. Forgot what it was like to be with you._

_S: No they were looking at both of us._

_B: Don't insult me - it's been like this all morning!"_

(Blair and Serena, Episode 4)

-- -- --

"Alright class," Ms. Julie called out, "I want you to really look at this pear. Look! Don't think. Paint what you see."

Serena was about thirty minutes into her first painting class, and feeling exhausted. Because the class was a double periods, Serena knew she wouldn't get out for another hour, which didn't help her energy level. Her easel and twelve others were circled around a stool; on the stool were three overly ripe pears, which the entire class had spent a good ten minutes observing before they were allowed to begin painting.

Serena wrinkled her nose in frustration. She hadn't gotten very far, three vaguely pear shaped objects with black outlines sat on her canvas in the shade of Burnt Sienna taken directly from the paint tube. She could see the shade wasn't right, so she had tried adding a few spots of yellow, but that had only made them appear orange. A faint blue upside down U represented the in for the stool, and the rest of the canvas was bare.

Serena was just dipping her paint into more blue for the background when she saw Ms. Julie coming towards her. Julie was actually only her last name (her first was Margaret), and as she had explained to the class it only became a problem for the male members of her family when they hit middle school. She was also young, probably in her late twenties or early thirties, and wore on her thin frame oversized men's shirts with paint splatters on them. Today her frizzy brown hair was pinned up with a butterfly clip and glasses on a jeweled cord framed her narrow face.

Ms. Julie pondered Serena's painting a few moments before she spoke. "If I thought you meant to do it I'd say you show a resemblance to Gaugain; however, I can see you are inexperienced."

Serena shrugged. "I've never painted before."

"You'll find that most of the kids that come through here haven't either." Ms. Julie said reassuringly. "The pears aren't bad, it was the stool that really gave you away. But let me ask you, where do you see black on this canvas?"

Serena didn't have to look to know, "There isn't any."

"Then, if you're painting what you see, there shouldn't be a black line around them. What you're doing is painting what you know. A pear isn't too difficult a shape to know. But it's training you to look so that when you come across an object for which you don't know the shape, say a typewriter, you will be able to render it based on its own merits."

Julie handed her a view finder: a piece of paper with a small rectangle cut out of it. "Sometimes it helps to cut the bigger picture into smaller parts, and focus on each problem individually. An outline is fine initially, just make sure you cover it up with colors." And with that she walked away to critique the next student.

Serena squinted at the pears, not really seeing; so she turned to the students next to her. The boy on her left wasn't doing much better; his pears looked like something out of a children's sketch book. The girl on her right was working diligently away. Her canvas was entirely painted over, no white was showing. The pears were brown but not the brown of the tube, there was purple and red and green in them; they were also so big that they took up most of the canvas.

She had indeed painted what she saw, but it wasn't boring at all.

And so taking up her palate knife, Serena mixed the paints and worked for the next hour. She found as she looked there really were all sorts of colors, even the purple. It was difficult work, getting the colors to match, but by the end she was actually having fun.

"Alright, paintbrushes up." Julie said with five minutes left of class. She proceeded to grab each pear off the stool and sent it soaring into the garbage can.

"Ms. Julie!" An artsy looking freshman with dark eye liner called out. "What if we didn't finish?"

"Oh, this was just an exercise, a sketch if you will. It won't even be graded." She replied.

There was a collective groan.

"It's a good marking stick though," Julie continued, "It'll be a measure of how far you've come. As I'm sure you've heard," she let out a slight grin, "Compared to the rest of the teachers at this school I'm a pretty easy grader… as long as you turn your stuff in on time. The paintings you do are going to be time consuming though, so make sure to stay on top of everything." She stopped by Serena's painting.

"Not bad. Keep at it," she said, eyes twinkling. She then turned to the rest of the class, "Alright everyone, make sure you get all the paint off your brushes."

Serena stepped out of the art building ten minutes later, utterly devoid of energy. She was a good walk away from her dorm and still needed to change for sports. Achingly, she dragged her book bag over her shoulder and began the walk back, her breath coming out in frosty clouds in the bitter air.

She wasn't even half way there when she ran into Jack heading in the opposite direction already changed out of his uniform and into blue jeans... he looked good. His face, so serious a few minutes before broke into a half grin upon seeing her.

"Hey there." He said.

"Oh good you're here!" She paused in her walk, rubbing her hands together to fend off the cold… and then noticed he was wearing Birkenstocks. She stared at them. "Aren't your feet freezing?"

"Nah, I've been doing this for years."

"Anyway" she continued, "Do you know where the Field House is? I'm supposed to go there in a bit to register my sport."

"Registration doesn't happen until next week." He responded tartly.

"Oh…" She sighed, her bag suddenly felt much lighter. "That's a relief. I so did not feel like going to that today."

"You look pretty tired." He said, looking at her drooping shoulders. "Rough day?"

"You have no idea! I haven't had a moment to relax! Everything's happened so fast over the past few days I can barely keep up."

"'Intense' is the word that people use most often to describe Warwick, so I'm not surprised, but don't worry. You'll get used to it..."

"I certainly hope so."

"And if it makes you feel any better," he continued, taking pause to admire her bare legs beneath the green plaid skirt, "I must say the uniform does you justice… unlike most of the female population here."

"Not really… but thanks."

He glanced around the deserted courtyard. "Well, since I don't have to be anywhere either… maybe we could escape for a bit. Why don't we ditch this place and go grab some caffeine? There's only one decent coffee shop in town, but its pretty chill."

Serena cringed inwardly. Here was something she had been expecting for a little while, though she kept hoping he wouldn't bring it up: he was asking her out. Nate had been such a shock to her system that she knew, however subconsciously, that she needed some time to recover. Thus even a boy as cute as Jack just wasn't peaking her interest.

"As much as I'd like to…" she looked for the words to put him down gently. "I'm sorry, but I'm… I'm not really looking to start anything, you know?"

He dropped his smug smile for one of incredulity. "What? You just assume I'm interested?"

She paused - he genuinely looked taken aback. "Aren't you?"

He slapped a hand to his chest in mock agitation. "I'm just trying to be a friend here, trying to make you feel comfortable your first day in a new, and probably very daunting environment. You think so little of me as, just because I have a Y chromosome that I would immediately try to take advantage of your obvious boarding-school virginity to score with you?" He shook his head sadly. "'Tis a shame that you think so little of me.

She rolled her eyes. "Now you're just mocking me…"

He continued, "And for you information, I'm not looking to start anything with anyone either. I have a very cute girlfriend." He reached for his wallet, flipping over credit card after credit card until finally reaching a small photo-sleeve.

"Here." He handed her a slightly creased snapshot.

Two people were at the bottom of a yellow play-ground slide. There was Jack, and rather plain brunette was sitting in his lap. She may have been wearing no makeup, but her happiness of their bond seemed to radiate from her face, and come to think of it, his as well. His tanned face was relaxed and he seemed almost… giddy.

"Her name's Sarah. We've been dating for a year and a half."

"She's beautiful."

"I know." He smiled. "She goes to Northfield now, but we've known each other since middle school."

"I'm sorry," Serena conceded. "I shouldn't have assumed."

"Well, I'll let you get away with it this time." He winked. "You must have been some hot stuff back in NYC. You won't get far with that attitude here."

She bristled. "Well it's not like you weren't sending me signals."

"Signals?" His eyebrow went up ever so slightly. "What do you mean by that?"

"The way you were looking at me earlier?"

"When?" He just stood there, letting the awkwardness drag out as Serena's face got progressively redder and obviously enjoying every second of it.

"You know…" she felt as though her face was on fire. "Stuff.

"What stuff?"

"The skirt comment?" Honestly, hadn't she been humiliated enough for one day?

"Oh that." He shrugged. "So what? You're hot; of course I was going to comment on how nicely it showed off your legs."

"Hey!" She punched his arm.

"Hey! I'm taken, not blind. Just because I have an item on hold doesn't mean I can't enjoy looking at the other merchandise."

She frowned at that, still unsatisfied. Seeing this, he elaborated.

"It might be a news flash to your lovely New York state of mind, but just because a guy thinks a girl's hot doesn't mean we're about to jump you. Guys and girls _can_ be just friends, you know."

Thoughts of walking down Fifth Ave with Blair crossed her mind, the guys turning back to look. In the hallways of the school she used to. The way Nate looked at her when getting her ready for a bath….

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it wasn't all about looks?" He asked.

Best not to dwell on the past.

"No one ever put it in those terms, no."

"Wow, going to an all girls school must have seriously messed with your head if you don't even know that… you probably don't have a clue how guys think."

She gave a hollow laugh. "Trust me, I know how guys think… with the smaller of their two heads."

"Really? You must not have a lot of guy friends back home."

"I've dated around,"

"Well then, therein lies the problem. Boyfriends aren't like friends, they put on this perfect facade and refuse to criticize you. You've got to learn to take us at our face value."

She started to argue but he continued, "You probably have never had a guy friend who didn't want to get with you."

That stopped her to think. Had she? She had thought Nate was, but that certainly didn't count any more. Chuck? Maybe, but he'd screw anything that moved…

"See?" He said, looking past her doe-eyed expression and saw the wheels of her brain continued to click, looking for something, rethinking her past interactions. No, she couldn't remember.

"My guess is," he continued, "Source of all knowledge that I am, is that you've never interacted with a guy on a purely platonic level. You've never had time to see them in their natural environment. Guys have been so concerned with getting you that they've never let you seen their true side."

"I guess… maybe." She conceded.

"Well, why don't we go escape the confines of our culture and go grab a latte or something so I can give you an overview." He held out his arm to her. It would have been touching if it wasn't so… obviously corny.

"Alright…" She took his arm and they left across the quad, walking into town. They passed his dorm without going in.

"Don't we need to sign out?"

"Nah, teachers never look at the sheet. Not in upperclassmen dorms anyway…. So you want to go?"

"Sure," Serena let go of his arm and turned towards her building. "Let me just drop my bag off."

And off they went.

* * *

**Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated.**

**And many thanks to Greekchic for Beta-ing smiles I've already outlined Chapter Four (and yes, time actually starts moving). As the school year's out, I will hopefully update more regularly in the future...**

**Hopefully...**


	5. Chapter 4: Tuesday, January 9, 2007

**Whooohooo Update! Longest yet in the coming, I really do like this one – I hope you do too!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Tuesday: January 9, 2007**

"_Serena left to go to boarding school without saying anything. She didn't give a word of goodbye."_

_(Leighton Meester, on Serena's disappearance)_

_-- -- --_

_**Warwick – 8:09am**_

A shrill scream shook Serena awake. The two roommates across the hall were fighting again. Serena looked at her watch; it read 8:09am - she had slept through her alarm for the third time this week. Thank God she didn't have first period class. She rolled her aching body out of bed. A little over an hour away at Constance the first bell would ring soon; Blair should be making her appearance just about...

_-- -- --_

_**Constance – 8:10am**_

"Na--" Blair's shout was cut off by the loud buzzing of the first bell. She called again as dashed across the courtyard to him, finally throwing herself into his arms.

"Hey Beautiful! I've missed you." Nate said, lifting her up.

"Two weeks just couldn't go by fast enough." She responded, kissing him deeply.

Chuck Bass who was standing with next to them rolled his eyes. "It is by far too early for my stomach to digest your kindergarden PDA."

"Shut up Bass," Blair muttered as her lips left Nate's long enough to snap at him. Yet when she turned back Nate was already starting to put her down.

"I'm sorry babe, but I gotta run." Nate said.

Blair's ebullient expression dropped a notch. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said. "I promised my dad I'd meet with my college advisor before school."

"Oh, well of course dear. See you at lunch?" Though she looked lovingly at him, he didn't meet her eyes; though if it was out of preoccupation or intentional avoidance she couldn't tell. She frowned.

"Definitely – I'll catch you later." He kissed her forehead before leaving.

Blair sighed, watching his retreating back. _Boys... such strange creatures._

"Nice tan Waldorf," Chuck's gravelly voice cut in. "I hope you didn't get any lines that would spoil it."

Blair's confusion turned to annoyance by his prickly interruption. "Seriously Chuck, can your mind please please crawl out of the gutter you came from for two seconds?"

"It's not so bad, you should try it some time..." Chuck smirked and shrugged. "Anyway, I was wondering if you had seen our favorite party girl?"

"Oh Serena? No, I guess not..."

"That's too bad... I wanted to talk to her."

"Talk?" Blair raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Yes, talk." He wrapped his arm around Blair's shoulders. "I am capable of it... occasionally." He whispered in her ear.

Blair shrugged him off with a shiver. "Well, you know her. She's probably still hung over from partying with Georgina this weekend."

Chuck raised one of his singularly manicured eyebrows. "You mean you haven't heard?"

"Chuck, I've been in sunning myself in Saint Barth's trying _not_ to think of school or anything other than how long I should lay on my stomach before switching to my back. What's there to hear?"

"Georgina's gone." Chuck cut in. "Her parents finally made good on their threat to send her to boarding school in Switzerland."

It was a shocker, at least one which momentarily took Blair's mind off the unsettled feeling in her stomach.

"God... poor Georgina," she said softly.

Chuck shared none of her supposed distress. "I don't know if it's all that bad," He said, taking her by the arm and leading her up the steps toward assembly. "Just think of what trouble there is for our Jezebel to get into over there. All those curfews and restrictions... and parietal rules to break..." Chuck allowed himself a rueful smile upon the thought of topless pillow fights. "Makes me almost wish I could be there."

"I suppose it's the end of an era. No more Georgina..." Blair reflected further. "Perhaps it'd even put some sense back into Serena. I doubt she'll be able to party so hard without her partner in crime."

"Maybe," Chuck continued, "But I don't think you give Serena enough credit. The level of intoxication she often reaches requires a certain innate talent to achieve..."

Blair scoffed "Well, I'm sure you'd know."  Chuck gave her a scathing glance. "I handle myself very well thank you, though if you'd ever like to see for yourself you could always join me..."

"Seriously, it's much too early for me to deal with you and your witty banter, I..." the warning bell saved her from further expostulations. "Excuse me," she concluded, "I have to go find my seat."

Though Nate, Chuck and Blair (plus the eyes of countless others) scanned the crowd every few seconds of the assembly, none of them saw head or tail of Serena. In her first period English class, though she attentively answered the questions her teacher asked, Blair's attention was constantly fixed towards the empty seat on her left, the one Serena normally occupied. It wasn't until third period that Blair stopped waiting for her to show up.

_So Serena's really not here…_ The occurrence wasn't unprecedented, to be sure, but unusual for the first day after a break. Blair frowned. _It shouldn't bother me so much, it's happened before... but why now? _She shook her head as if to chase away evil thoughts. _It just doesn't feel right._

_-- -- --_

_**Warwick – 11:50am**_

The bell abruptly cut off Mr. Schope's monotonous drone, signaling that their European History class had ended. The fourteen-odd students immediately swarmed to gather their bags and get out of the dark depths of the dimmed classroom. Serena remained motionless however, fingers poised over her notebook, which apart from the date was entirely blank.

Jack got up from his seat next to her and began packing his laptop away.

"Serena, you ready?"

Serena didn't notice, still lost in thought.

"Earth to Serena." Jack tried again. "Are you alright?"

She blinked. "Sorry, what?"

"I asked if you were drunk."

She gave him an exasperated glance.

"Just kidding, sorry. It's just that during the slide-show in class it looked like you were on another planet. Good thing it was to dim for Schope to see you weren't taking notes. He'd have held it against you later; he always thinks the stuff he says is important."

"Oh... right." Serena put her notebook back in her bag and headed for the door.

Jack picked up the assignment book she had left on her desk and followed her. "Don't worry, you can borrow my notes. But seriously, you sick or something? You seem kinda out of it."

"Thanks," she said, taking back her notebook. "It's nothing. My old school just starts classes today."

"Ah, reminiscing then." He nodded. "I get that, I did a lot of it when I first came here. Calling tends to help."

"I suppose..." She drifted off again, until she noticed Jack continuing to stare at her strangely. "What?"

"Something tells me you're not normally this quiet." He began."Something's bugging you."

She bristled. His ability to read her emotions was uncanny, and it was also beginning to get on Serena's nerves. She internally berated herself for letting her emotions show so freely, but it wasn't her fault he was one of the most persistently curious persons she had ever met. Sure she had her problems, it didn't mean he had to pry.

"It's not important." she brushed past him. "I have to go, I'm going to be late."

"Well, I'm here when you do feel like opening up. Just so you know..." He called after her; she pretended not to hear him, instead buckling down against the swirling of her thoughts. Constance would release in a few hours...

* * *

"_Do you know how it felt calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say… 'Serena didn't tell you, that she moved to Connecticut?"_

_(Blair to Serena, Episode 1)_

_-- -- --_

_**Manhattan – 3:15pm**_

Blair tapped her foot impatiently on the lobby tile. Long waits for the elevator always got her impatient and she was going to be late for sports as it was, running this errand to Serena's apartment. She glanced down at the books she was carrying. Serena could drink until 4am and sleep until noon if she liked, but Blair would be damned if she gave her up as a lost cause.

The elevator arrived at that moment and luck was on her side, as Lily van der Woodsen was the first one off the elevator. She looked at Blair in surprise.

"Why hello Blair! It's good to see you."

"Hello Mrs. van der Woodsen, it's good to see you too." Blair smiled winningly. "I just wanted to stop by to check that Serena's doing okay.

"Well thank you Blair, and yes, I believe she's doing fine. I spoke to her just last night."

"Oh," Blair said, surprised. "So you know she she wasn't in class today then."

"Really? Well, no one from the school called me... though I suppose she has her methods. I'll have to warn them of it in the future..." Lily let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Well, that's bureaucracy for you." Blair shrugged. "I just wanted to run up and see her to make sure she got the English assignment; we have a term paper assigned in two weeks. Is she home now?"

"Why, Blair, why would she be..." Lily paused. Taking a mental step back she took in the sight of Blair, still in her school uniform, handing out a manila envelope with Serena's name on it. Lily coughed nervously. "Clearly there had been a misunderstanding... Serena didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Blair..." Lily's voice got very quiet. "Serena's at Warwick."

"She's... where?"

"She's transferred to Warwick, that school in Connecticut that she had looked at back in the eighth grade? I can't believe she didn't mention..."

"Oh, she had mentioned it," Blair quickly lied. "I just didn't realize that she had actually decided to go..." Her throat was closing up. "When did she leave?"

"Last Monday. Their semester starts earlier and as you weren't around... I suppose it was a bit sudden."

"Yeah." Blair's voice was starting to get high and tight... she knew she wouldn't hold up much longer.

"Well, let me get you her mailing address..." Lily said, and began rifling through her purse. "I'm sure it's here somewhere. You have her cellphone number?"

"Of course." Blair responded, not realizing that Lily was referring to Serena's new number. Her lungs burned as she tried to breathe in and out. _But how can she be..._

"Ah, here it is." Lily said, handing her a small note card. "I must say though I didn't entirely agree with Serena going off, but she was so adamant about it and I did like the idea of sending her letters, it's so old fashioned and old-worldly."

_...gone?_

"Thanks." Blair said, taking the card. It was Serena's handwriting all right. She recognized the school's name, but not the town, though she had some vague notion it was near New Haven.

"Do write her, I'm sure she'd love to hear from you." Lily said as she made stepped to the side. "Well, I must be off. Say hi to your parents for me."

Blair stood silent in the lobby as Lily walked out the door, still in a trance.

_How could she leave...Without telling me?"_

Nate chose that moment to enter the lobby. He began to head for the elevator but then saw Blair. "Did you find her?" Nate asked, coming up behind her.

"She's gone..." Blair's voice finally cracked and she turned towards him.

"What?"

"She's left for Warwick."

"The boarding school?" Nate's voice and face registered shock. "She can't! It's the middle of the year."

Blair's chest started to heave. "I don't know why..." She squeezed her eyes tight and turned to embrace Nate.

"I don't know either." He whispered in her hair. He took a minute to lose his fingers in the soft down of her hair before pulling away. "Hey, I'm sorry but I've gotta go. I'll call you tonight."

Blair sniffed, and stood there. Still too in shock to notice his strangely preoccupied tone.

He kissed her forehead and left her still standing there, in the lobby, a forlorn figure with stooped shoulders holding herself together as people moved around her in and out of the elevator.

After a few blocks Nate looked around and, seeing that Blair hadn't followed him, he ducked onto a side street and pulled out his cellphone to dial Serena. He was greeted immediately by her voicemail, a sure sign that her phone was turned off. He had no recourse but to leave a voice message, with had no way of knowing that her phone was still in the building he had just come from, stashed away and without battery or service.

"Serena?" Nate whispered harshly into the voice piece. "We need to talk. What the hell is going on?"

-- -- --

_**Warwick – 5:20pm**_

Lily was, in a nutshell, beside herself.

"Serena, I CANNOT BELIEVE you didn't tell Blair, of all people, that you were leaving."

On the other side of the phone Serena cringed as her mother's tirade bit into her. Sports had just ended for the day and Serena called to see if her mother could send her some warmer clothes than she had packed. She hadn't realized Connecticut winters could be so frigid.

"You know, it was kind of sudden," Serena tried to explain. "Besides, Blair was all the way in the Caribbean. I didn't want to disturb her vacation." She knew it was a lame excuse, but honestly the past week had gone by in such a blur of frenzied activity that Serena hadn't had the time or energy to think of a better one.

"Well Serena, be that as it may I felt horrible being the one to break the news to her. It just seemed to give her such a shock. I was at least able to give her your school address."

Serena closed her eyes against the unexpected development. "Thanks a lot mom." So much for being unreachable...

Lily persisted, "Serena, did you tell _anyone_ you left?"

"Yeah, a few..." She might have left New York, but she wasn't exactly in Siberia. Blair now knew her address and could write or even visit if she really wanted to. Serena could only hope that by not initiating contact, Blair's wounded pride would be strong enough to prevent her from tracking her down. She'd have to think of a contingency plan just in case though.

"Serena, it's been weeks since you decided to go. Surely you could have made contact by now."

Serena's protests were interrupted by the arrival of her roommate. Ashley looked utterly exhausted, collapsing onto her bed in full squash outfit for a few seconds before flipping over and reaching under her bed.

"I will Mom... but I've got to go. I'll be late for my study group." Serena said, watching in fascination as Ashley pulled out a large brightly lit gift-wrapped box. She opened it expertly, not ripping any of the wrapping, and took from it a case of red wine.

"Alright Serena," Lily conceded. "But remember just because you've gone and made new friends doesn't mean you have to neglect the old. You still have friends back here and I'm sure they're miss you."

Serena waited a second, then hung up without responding. Her mother was wrong, she did have to cut everyone else out. It was what she deserved.

Still lying on her bed, Ashley took a swig directly of her bottle. Noticing Serena staring at her she shrugged.

"I'm off to a friend's house. Don't tell me you've never seen underage drinking before."

"No it's not that..." Serena stammered. "I just didn't peg you for a drinker." Nor had she expected to be confronted with alcohol in such close proximity... she thought the rules encouraged not drinking around here. As a former bad-girl and breaker of Constance's many rules herself she should have known better.

"Well I'm glad I could surprise you." Ashley said, then held out the bottle. "Want some?"

Serena hesitated a moment. The label looked expensive and she loved good wine. Not as much as vodka, but still...

"Not tonight, thanks." Serena shook her head. "I've got a lot of work to do."

"Suit yourself." Ashley said. "It's a mad good Bordeaux though."

Serena turned back around to her desk and took out the photo-copy Jack had made for her of the lecture. At least for now she had succeeded in cutting herself off, the remnants of her past remained in Manhattan. It was time to move forward.

* * *

**Your thoughts, as always are appreciated.**

**Finally Serena has seemingly put her past behind her! But she really escaped? Or will her past come back to haunt her?**** And just what trials and tribulations await Serena in her new home? It may not be Manhattan, but boarding school can be a jungle all its own. One thing's for sure, only time (and future updates will tell.)**

**I know I'm excited :-D**


	6. Chapter 5: White Reflections in the Snow

**ATTENTION: Sorry, we'll get to the chapter in just a second I just have a few announcements ****which I find it necessary to bring to your attention.**

Names: I have made the decision to change Warwick's formal name from 'Warwick Academy' to 'The Warwick School'. Past chapters will soon be re-uploaded with the name as such (as well as other changes, such as below) to make it less confusing.

Time:** (This is the important one) **I never mentioned this, but I'm writing this story as if these events actually happened in real time. As in, I have a big 2007 calender saved on my desktop and am constantly marking it up and referring to it myself. So for anyone interested, I will be posting the actual dates covered (it may make it less confusing):

--

**[Friday, January 20 – Monday, January 22]**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Getting into the Swing of Things / White Reflections in the Snow...**

_L: "Just be back in time for brunch, okay?_

_S: Mom..._

_L: Look, honey I know how hard it is for you to be back, but the more you hide yourself away the more people are gonna think you have something to hide."_

(Lily and Serena, Episode 2)

_-- -- --_

Serena threw down her pop quiz in frustration.

"I can't believe he expects us to just_ know_ this stuff? No one knows what year the first European Crusade was!"

"1099." Ashley answered, not looking up from her Latin homework.

Serena let out a long suffering sigh. It was nearing 10 o'clock on a Friday night and both roommates were holed up in their bedroom for study hours doing homework for classes the next day. (Warwick, like many Connecticut boarding schools, had occasional half-day classes on Saturday.)The radiator, a throwback to the ancient heritage of the dorm, clattered noisily in the corner. Snow drifted lightly past the window that Serena could barely see out of, so dark and quiet was the campus.

"I still can't believe we have school tomorrow." Serena said.

"Welcome to the BS of boarding school. You can blame it on the French – it was their system." Ashley replied, finishing off another declination in her workbook. "It could be worse than every other week though – Wessex Academy and Hanover both have classes every Saturday."

"I can't even remember the last time I woke up before noon on a Saturday to eat breakfast, much less to do actual school work."

"One of the many reasons I'm looking forward to going to college... though my weekends will probably still suck..." Ashley paused, contemplating her future. "At least during the squash season I doubt I'll get much done during the week with practice; with traveling on the weekends it'll add up to hell."

Serena knew from experience this would probably prove true, experience that included being hazily woken out of her dreaming by her roommate, who on the days she had morning practice rose before six. Ashley took squash quite seriously; her hard work had paid off in the end – she had been recruited by Harvard and accepted early action.

Serena looked over at Ashley again, who had put her homework away and was now working on her computer.

"What are you up to?" Serena asked.  
"Downloading _Friday Night Lights._"

"You're done _already_?" Serena was shocked, Ashley had been complaining for days about the 20 page research essay she had had to finish. "When did you get it done?"

"This afternoon. I tend to hole myself up in the library during my free periods. During the day it's great, no one's there, except for the awkward encounters you have with people making out in the stacks."

"Hmm... I might have to try that some time." Serena contemplated.

Ashley raised an eyebrow in mock disapproval. "Wow Serena, I knew you and Jake were spending a lot of time together but I didn't think you had gotten _that _serious."

Serena's face flushed a bit. "I mean the studying during the day thing." And with a sigh she returned to analyzing her test where a large red 'D+' glared at her on the front of her history quiz. Though she had been at Warwick only three weeks, this wasn't the first bad grade that she had been handed back. She had already had a 500 word essay due on the significance of the character of Miss Fairfax in the book 'Emma' which she had received a B- on. 'Poor composition' and 'Watch your grammar" were only some of the comments.

Serena gazed longingly at the clock which read 8:40. She still had almost an hour before study hours were over. All boarding students were required to check in at their dorms and be either in their rooms or in designated study complexes between the hours of 7:30 and 9:30. Junior and seniors were allowed a half-hour break afterwards where they could go outside and mingle with friends in other dorms before they returned to be locked in at night. She was grateful for that freedom, however small it seemed.

Though technically as a sophomore she shouldn't have been allowed a break afterwards at all; yet there was little way to enforce it as she was living in upperclassmen housing and the school had decided to make an exception (an exceptional exception, both Ashley and Jack emphasized, as the administration and the dean of boarding girls in particular were a stickler for the rules.) Serena had never done well with restrictions, and checkins and curfews were just a few of Warwick's insufferable sets of arbitrary restrictions she doubted she'd ever get used to.

_Well, it's not like I have anywhere to go._ Serena though, picking up her pen again.

Her cellphone chose that moment of productivity to buzz from a new text message.

_Meet me outside in 50._

It was from Jack.

-- -- --

"Well, you look warmer tonight." Jack said, eying Serena's stylish fur-lined jacket.

"My mom finally took the time and energy to send me my winter clothing. I didn't think Connecticut winters would be this cold... it's not this bad in New York."

"Mhmh." Jack replied as she fell into step with him and they began their nightly ritual of a walk around the upperclassmen quad.

"What's the likelihood that the snow will pick up enough to get us out of class tomorrow?" Serena asked, kicking a little snow in Jack's direction.

"Slim to none," Jack replied staring up at the sky. "It's too cold tonight to snow much. Didn't finish a paper?"

"No... that's what I'm doing this weekend." Serena grimaced. She had a second essay due for her english class on Monday which she hadn't started, though she had known about it since her first day of classes. She needed to do better on that one. "I just hate the idea of working on the weekend."

"Well, when you can't stand the sight of The Great Gatsby anymore, give me a call and we can, I don't know, break out my Hitchcock classics or something."

Serena nodded absentmindedly at Jack's sarcasm and pulled her coat more tightly around her; it really was quite cold. The weather, however, did not stop her or over a hundred juniors and seniors from congregating on the quad.

Always in tune with the social radar, Serena took a moment to look around and observe her classmates in their natural habitat. Most of the girls were dressed surprisingly casual for rendezvous with the opposite sex; sweat pants and pajama bottoms abounded, as did many versions of the Ugg boot. No skimpy skirts or tops here, boys and girls alike were firmly bundled up against the freezing cold; a large presence of flip-flops the only anomaly. Also surprisingly, she began noticing significant differences between the Manhattan social hierarchy and the one she saw. On the quad before class at Constance, where a similar such gathering might have taken place, one could have observed the main 'in' crowd taking up its reign on the benches, but at Warwick there seemed to be many smaller loosely-associated factions talking and interacting with each other. Unlike Constance, Serena had yet to identify the established 'popular' group; there was no group which seemed to draw everyone's gaze, everyone instead choosing to be watching each other. There were some hard-lines to be sure; almost no one who was walking along the side paths interacted with those in the middle of the quad. But still, it was surpassingly... open.

Jack noticed her inquisitive gaze and cut into her thoughts with an entirely new train.

"In my experience, this is where the real drama happens."

Serena looked at him questioningly.

"In a mere thirty minutes without supervision, relationships are made and broken...dark corners, deserted classrooms in the buildings that are always unlocked, room visitations..." He held his arm out in attempt to sweep up the population on the grass. "It all happens."

"Ah... I see." She said although she didn't. Who would want to do anything when it was this cold?

He patted her shoulder. "You'll figure it out. Beautiful night isn't it?"

Serena had to agree that it was. They had just come out from under the covered walkways in front of the girls dorms and were now making a circle around the quad to the guy's dorms. The snow had started coming down a bit harder, and small white flakes were starting to build up in Jack's jet black hair.

Giggling, two figures emerged out of the building on their left – a girl with her hood up and a boy with a familiar-looking lacrosse-cut jacket. Serena's stomach flipflopped inside of her.

_Nate?_

The boy, the first-string lacrosse goalie and a junior who happened to be in Serena's painting class, took off after the girl in front of him. He had the same highlighted pretty-boy hair as Nate, but that was where the resemblance ended.

Of course it he wasn't Nate, but it wasn't the first time she had thought she saw him or others from her past. It had been happening a lot lately, where just a glance of brown hair or a pair of black boots would set her heart racing, so familiar seemed the items that she was prepared to meet the faces of the individual that owned them – be it Blair, Chuck, Nate, or any of the many faces she saw in the halls of Constance and St. Jude's...

But it was never them, often the person it turned out to be didn't look a thing like any of her friends, yet because of a small resemblance that only Serena's subconscious could make sense of - she could have sworn she caught a glance of the people she loved... if only for a moment

Wishful thinking.

Those people she wouldn't see again for quite some time, maybe on winter breaks and if she decided to come home on weekends (given her current class schedule she doubted she would be able to much at all.) And for that matter, when she went back her instinct for self-preservation would hit and she'd probably go out of her way to avoid them all.

_I'm stuck here... oh God._

She gulped involuntarily as her throat constricted. Though she was standing outside under a cold open sky she suddenly felt incredibly claustrophobic, as if the very snowflakes were invading into her personal space, compressing her into a small ball of homesickness.

_Is this it? I have nothing..._

She started tearing up at the thought. She hadn't admitted to herself until now that she had been waiting to go home. Leaving hadn't really hit her until now.

There was nothing to look forward to – she was stuck here, an exile of even if self-declared. What did she have to look forward to?

"Homesick?" Jack asked. Curiously, there was nothing harsh in his expression, just genuine concern.

"Yeah." Serena's closely guarded barrier of emotions broke down. "Just a little."

"Let me guess, this was your parents idea?"

Serena shook her head. "Not this time."

"Oh?"

"My mom wanted me to look at Warwick two years ago, I would have come in as a freshman. Something about the idea of enforceable curfews and study-hours appealed to her... so I applied and was accepted but in the end convinced her that she didn't want me leaving home so soon."

Jack tweaked her hood. "You must have been a handful."

Serena grinned ruefully. "I was a bit wild."

"I thought I sensed a deviant streak in you. Well, it's been three weeks and despite your cabin fever you haven't tried to escape for one single escapade. Then again.." he said looking up to Serena's dorm, "It's a rather large drop. But anyway, why leave now?"  
Serena shrugged. "I grew up."

"You're lucky you came here by choice. Then again, most people who don't want to come find it pretty easy to get kicked out."

"Well, I..."

"But none-the-less, you aren't happy here are you?"  
Serena made as if to argue, but honestly what was the point? Just because she refused to tell him her reasons for leaving didn't mean that she had to lie about everything. So she capitulated.

"Am I really that obvious?"

"Kinda, but probably just to me and Ashley. You're the new girl; people haven't gotten to know you yet. You still have a few weeks grace period of being quiet and mysterious before people start writing you off as anti-social."

"I'm not anti-social!"

"Indeed, I doubt you are. But people will think that if you don't try to get to talk to them. At first the boys may be intimidated by you and the girls may be catty because they feel like you're invading their territory, but they'll get over it eventually. Boarding school isn't like the movies, it's really the great equalizer – everyone shows up to breakfast wearing pajamas at least once. We're all human, it's no secret."

"So you're saying you grow tired of my company?" Serena gave him a gentile shove.

He returned her shove with about five times more force. It caught her off balance so much that she almost careened into a snow-laden bush. He grabbed her arm just in time to keep her from getting snow covered.

"Far from it, I like you're company so much I don't want you to get sick of me." He said, grabbing her arm before she got completely snow-drenched. "And as for school, well, it gets better, I promise. Maybe not immediately, maybe not even in the next few months, but at least stick it out it until the end of the semester; then you can decide for yourself whether it's worth it."

_But that's just it, Jack. _Serena thought as they turned to walk back towards her dorm. _Whether or not it's worth it, I don't have a choice... I can't go back._

* * *

_L: "Serena, you've been gone. Doing who knows what with God knows who...  
_

_S: I told you Mom, boarding school wasn't like that."_

(Lily and Serena, Episode 1)

_-- -- --_

Parry, good... now, advance and... FLECHE!!

Serena lunged, completely missed her target, and hit the floor. She felt a small tap as her opponent's foil met her back, putting the score at 0-5 and thus winning the match.

It didn't help that her opponent had been the one directing her motions either.

A tiny gloved hand was given to her, and Serena felt herself being pulled up with surprising strength.

"Not bad for your first day of real fencing." The girl said, before taking off her mask.

"Thanks," Serena replied, still out of breath.

Though Warwick offered many inter-varsity sports, Serena had planned to wait until the spring's tennis season to try out for a competitive Warwick team. Instead, she had signed up for a medley called "Winter Sports" which consisted of swimming, squash, ice skating and Fencing – the last of which she was currently getting her butt kicked in, the day being Monday. After several exhaustive and action-packed training sessions, the head coach finally decided that the newbies were finally ready to square off against other students who competed on the school's Fencing Team.

Serena noticed the other girl waiting and struggled to get her mask off. Her hair was a rats nest, she discovered as she tried to run a hand through it. The fencing mask had gyrated against her unconstrained fine locks, creating knots that would later take over half an hour of conditioning before they worked themselves out.

The girl across from her didn't seem to care, Serena noticed, or look nearly as disheveled as they both saluted mask off and came up to shake their left-hands. She looked distinctly asian, though her darker skin and wide eyes betrayed that her heritage was from the south-east of that region. Her accent, however, was distinctly british-influenced. She had also smartly braided her long dark hair so that it didn't get so tangled. Serena made a mental note to remember that...

"Nice job. Try to disengage more often though, you'll find it easier to score points that way.

"I'll try." Serena replied, trying to place the girl's face in her mind. She looked familiar. "We have a class together, right?"

"Yep, Chemistry. You're Serena."

"Yes, though I'm sorry I don't know you're name."

"No worries, you're new. My name's Kim."

They shook hands again, though this time with the right hand. The coach then blew the whistle, signaling the conclusion of their sports time. Serena headed straight to the water fountain while Kim started undoing her jacket.

"How do you think you're going to do on the quiz tomorrow?" Kim continued.

Serena gulped the last of her water, barely managing to stave off a fit of coughing. "Oh God that is tomorrow. I'm so behind! My old school didn't cover half the material that we're expected to know."

"Well, me and a few others are getting together tonight to go over the homework problems – we try to do that before every quiz. You can join us if you want."

"Well, I haven't done many of the them; I doubt I'll be much help..."

"Don't worry about it. Where do you live?"

"I'm in Blanchcroft." Serena replied, attempting to unzip herself out of her outfit. Kim came over to help her.

"As a sophomore? Sweet as!" Kim was impressed. "The sophomore year curfew sucked, I could never fall asleep at 11. How'd you get so lucky?"

"My advisor said it was the only room available on such short notice. I'm rooming with Ashley Crawford, do you know her?" Kim's hands paused momentarily in mid zipper;

"The senior? Yeah, I know her."

So mild was Kim's hesitation that if Serena hadn't been anticipating the varied reactions brought by her roommate's name she might have missed it, but she could tell Kim definitely know something. Serena chose to leave the issue for now... but someday she would get to the bottom of this anomaly.

"Where do you live?" Serena asked.

"I'm in Barton. It's one of the smaller dorms behind yours overlooking the valley."

"You live there? The houses are so nice I thought faculty lived in them."

"Yeah, it's one of the school's newer experiments - you get to apply for one with between 6 and 12 of your girl friends. You have to have a 'theme' and a missions statement and everything. The applications and interviews were so much work that I don't know if I'd do it again, even if it did mean I got to live with all my friends this year."

Kim had finished getting out of her equipment and turned to go towards the girls locker rooms. "Alright, well I have to go put my equipment back in my locker but I'll meet you in your dorm after formal dinner."

"Yes, definitely." Serena replied and started the walk back to her dorm to change. Stepping out of the double doors of the gym, she gave a yelp as something very cold and wet made its way into her shoes. The snow that had been flurrying on and off for the past week had apparently picked up speed – Serena hadn't been anticipating this when she decided to wear her summer flats to gym class.

She gingerly felt her way along the path and decided that she was definitely wearing pants and her big boots to Black-Tie, the formal dinner which happened every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights and where all the dorms ate dinner together in family-style arrangement. Though the actual dinner dress code only required of a jacket and tie for guys and neat attire for girls, the students had nicknamed the weekly ritual Black-Tie because so many people took it to the next level. Girls especially weren't going to miss an opportunity to dress up when their regular school days were filled with uniforms. Thus, even accounting for those who rebelled against the system and those who were simply lazy, a good three quarters of the school showed up dressed to impress, no matter what the weather.

-- -- --

Dinner was uneventful, as always. Assigned seating didn't leave too much room for drama, nor did Victoria Robinson, the dorm head of Blanchcroft, who headed Serena's table of 12. Her husband and twin five-year old sons were also seated with them, and the latter were the ones demanded most of the table's attention. Serena laughed at the two boys antics with the rest, but other than that participated little in the conversation. Though the dorm held over thirty girls and though the seating assignments changed every week, Serena found she was gradually getting better at remembering everyone's name. Jennie and Rachel, the two roommates across the hall from Serena who so often woke her up with their bickering, were seated across from her. Jennie was wearing a dark purple dress-shirt that Serena swore she had seen Rachel wear just two weeks ago. Yet that didn't surprise Serena, as even with their constant bickering the two were about the same size and, as Ashley explained, with so many formal dinners it often became necessary to share with others in order to increase the variety of one's wardrobe, all personal drama aside. Yet with the amount of clothing her mother had sent her in the last few weeks, Serena doubted she would ever have to resort to that if she so chose.

After dinner, Kim picked Serena up from her dorm and led her across the school's back field and to a small and brightly lit victorian-style house. As they entered the foyer to dining hall turned study-room, Kim explained how in addition to the dining area, the house also boasted four double-bed rooms as well as a faculty apartment on the third floor. Barton's declared house 'theme' was Internationalism, and as such the eight girls boasted a variety different back-grounds and nationalities.

"We're from all over – my family is from Thailand, though I was born and raised in New Zealand. We have three girls from South Korea – Mihn, Helen and Lucy. Milena is from Russia, Lexi is British but hails from South Africa, Isabel is Puerto Rican, and my roommate Lily is our resident American – born and raised in New York City.

"Oh? Serena's heart skipped a beat. "What part?"

"Upper West-Side. Have you met? She's in your year."

Serena shrugged. "I haven't met a lot of sophomores."

"Well, I'll have to introduce you then." Kim slung her stuffed book bag over an antique looking chair which rattled dubiously, but withstood the force. "The others should be here in a few minutes."

And so they arrived in short order. Juniors Devon and Liz were the next to arrive followed shortly by Stephen, a freshman. To Serena's surprise, Travis also showed up.

"I'm in Mr. Angelou's other section." He explained. He didn't say much to her after that, though Serena noticed him stealing furtive glances at her. Kim was the one who mostly worked with Serena, attempting to fill in the gaps of her understanding, which were large to say the least.

"You mean you never memorized the Gas Laws?" Kim cried, shocked.

"No, my chemistry teacher always gave them to us on the bottom of our test."

Kim looked at a bit of a loss. "Well, with only one night I'm not sure what you can get down... well, maybe this'll help. Think of a waiter holding a Gin and Tonic..." She continued with a barrage of acronyms, some so obscure that Serena couldn't even venture to guess their origin. Kim's creative imagery helped somewhat though, and so they continued, until nine o'clock saw Serena about ready to toss her book out the window in frustration.

"This is hopeless..." Serena sighed, looking at the sheet of practice problems, only a third of which she had gotten even remotely right. "I'm never going to get through this."

"Well, it's only the first test." Kim tried to console her. "I doubt it'll count for too much in the end... and besides you're at least starting to remember some of it!"

Serena began to rub her temples to ward off an impending stress-headache, a bit surprised to find out how much she cared how she did. Serena knew she had always been a rather indifferent student, doing the bare minimum of work but always managing to scrape by somehow, even if on sheer B.S.

Chemistry though... as she recalled discovering the first few days of sophomore year... was an entirely different matter. Unlike English, French, or even Geometry she couldn't explain her way out of getting the wrong answer – the solution was either right or it wasn't, with seemingly fifty different steps and little margin for error.

Though it shocked her now to think of it, she had never even been to a serious group study session before. Sure, she had spent a few nights with Nate and Blair with their chemistry text book, but somehow those evenings inevitably descended into some form of distraction. Blair planned ahead for this and always studied before hand so that their shenanigans never bit into her stellar grade point average; but Nate and Serena were often at a loss come test day.

Serena bit her lip as she thought back to those last few months. There were definitely a few times that Serena had looked over the shoulder of Nelly Yuki, who she sat next to in class, and tried to work herself backwards to get that result. She always felt horrible afterwards, but it didn't stop her from doing it. A few days before winter break she had been caught, but after many tears and pleading her former chemistry teacher agreed to only fail her for that test rather than suspending her. The cheating incident was to go on her record but it hadn't been entered before her abrupt departure for Warwick; if it had been she doubted that even her Grandmother's connections could have gotten her in.

...little good it would do her now. The night was clearly lost.

"I think I'm going to call it quits." Serena stated, closing the book on her notes.

"Alright, well – some times a good rest is all you can do. Better than cramming, anyways." Kim said, trying to be optimistic. "And after this test, you'll know what to prepare for next time."

"Definitely..." She grabbed her jacket. "Thanks for all your help. I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings..."

"Good luck! See you tomorrow." Kim called afterwards.

Serena emerged from the building into a land of white. Though there had only been a few inches of snow on the ground when she left for the study group, the snowfall must have picked up as there were a good six inches on the ground already. Serena, having changed into short moccasins for study-hours, made quite a comical sight as she attempted to step carefully into tracks other students had created in attempt to avoid ice on her feet.

She was largely unsuccessful and her feet quite frozen by the time she reached her dorm. Ms. McClux was on duty that night and thus there to greet her, along with the crackling fire she had built in the common room's ancient fireplace.

"How'd the Chemistry studying go?"

"Somehow I'd feel a lot better if it wasn't tomorrow morning... but I doubt I'll absorb much more tonight." Serena replied, attempting to rub some feeling back into her feet.

"Sometimes rest is just what the body needs. Besides, by sleeping after you've learned something it helps solidify it in your memory."

The center stairs creaked as Ashley descended to meet them.

"Back so soon?" She sat down by Serena.

"I'm going to fail." Serena said under her breath, acknowledging the hopelessness of her situation. "I doubt it would be any better if I had studied all day."

"Well, you may still be able to..." Ashley said, and then turned to address Ms. McClux. "Do you mind if I turn on the Weather Channel?"

Ms. McClux checked her watch. "Well, it's 9:25 but sure, just keep it on low."

She clicked on the TV up in the middle of the anchor's forecast.

"_...Southern New England is in for a deluge tonight. Reports are estimating nearly 16 to 20 inches in the next twelve to twenty four hours across southern Connecticut and Rhode Island before moving up the coast to an additional 3-6 inches along southern Massachusetts..._"

The show cut to the radar; a swirling wall of white was headed straight for the New Haven / Fairfield area – in the middle of which sat Warwick.

"Hmm... I should think about getting home." said Ms. McClux. It looks like it'll hit within the next hour." She began to pack up her knitting bag.

"Do they usually have snow days around here?" Serena asked.

"Sometimes." Ashley replied. "My freshmen year we had like, five total, but last year we only had early closings."

"They sure didn't make it easy on the teachers last year either." Victoria Robinson bit in, opening the screen door between her apartment and the front hallway. She turned towards Ms. McClux, "I've been watching the forecast. You should go home, I'll do check in tonight."

"I was just going to ask that." Ms. McClux replied, zipping up her coat. "It looks like it'll dump a good amount on us before it's done."

"Lets hope the headmaster's has better sense this year." Ashley said as all four gazed out at the snow, which could clearly be seen picking up in both speed and density amongst the flood lights outside the dorm.

"There's nothing quite as sweet as a Warwick snow-day."

* * *

**Well, that was surprisingly painless for a 5,000 word chapter – despite the huge paper I had due between this and the last upload. You'll notice that I'm adding a bit more description in, that may become a theme but we'll see – the chapters will probably get longer rather than sacrificing dialogue. I hope you enjoyed. **

**Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated. (In particular, what do you think of Serena's voice? Does the dialogue I have written sound like her?)  
**

**Love, **

**Lily Jacobs**


	7. Chapter 6: Snow Day

**Hi Everyone! **

**This chapter could probably be cut in half, but since it happens all on the same day (see below) I figured it'd be best to keep it together. **

**Some minor house-cleaning issues: I have made minor revisions to the first five chapters. It mainly has to do with inconsistencies that I have noticed or will be in conflict with later chapters. A few relate to minor character names and places, but I doubt anyone will notice them other than me (whose fault it is for making plot lines way too tangled!) **

**Enjoy!**

_--_

**[Tuesday, January 30]**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Snow Day**

"_Boarding school, it's like..."_

(Serena to Blair, Episode 1)

-- -- --

The door shut rather harder than Ashley had intended, rattling the door frame and tossing a bleary-eyed Serena out of dreamland.

"Sorry." Ashley said to a bleary-eyed Serena. "It's a snow day."

"'Ow d'ya know?" Serena croaked. It was still dark outside, the light hadn't even begun to creep between the blinds.

"It's on the bathroom door. Mrs. Robinson always posts a sign up early."

"Ah..." Serena reached for her cellphone to turn the programed alarm off, and with that lay her head back down intending to sleep the day away. Her dreams were rudely interrupted once again at 11:00, when Jack's programmed ringtone woke her up.

"I was asleep, you know!" She croaked into the mouthpiece.

"You're lucky you aren't in an underclassmen dorm. Hyperactive freshmen girls would have woken you up at six when they discovered it."

"I. Don't. CARE."

"Alright, alright, sorry I called. When won't you be sleeping?"

Serena looked at her cellphone's clock. "Well, now I guess. What do you want?"

"How about some lunch?"

"You woke me up so you wouldn't have to sit alone? Really?" Her sarcasm was blatant.  
"Well, I wanted to walk into town to get it, since the dining hall won't be open until 1pm. Can you be ready soon?"

"Ahh... fine."

"Good, I'll meet you out front fifteen minutes." he said, and then hung up.

Serena shook her head as she put down the cellphone. _Idiot boys.. wait. Fifteen MINUTES?_

Still bleary-eyed she practically leapt out of bed and ran to the shower. She had slept long enough to feel a mess, but with a little toothpaste and salon-quality hair product she managed to emerge from the shower feeling slightly human.

Getting back to her room she cracked her window, and then quickly shut it again. It was freezing. Vaguely remembering the fact that there must be enough snow to block some of the walkways, she put on her tall boots and skinny jeans. Yet it was a snow day and she felt lazy, so she didn't bother changing out of the Brown t-shirt she had slept in before pulling on her Constance sweatshirt and fur-lined coat. Halfway down she realized she had forgotten her gloves and wallet, and though she was ten minutes late getting out side, Jack was no-where to be found. Indeed she could hardly see anything. The campus was buried under about two and a half feet of white, more of the stuff continuing to come down thickly.

Despite the cold, it was actually rather pretty. Serena had always loved the winter, though living in the city had never allowed her to play in the snow much, though she had regularly gone skiing with her friends and family to Aspen over the years.

Though it was nearing noon, the campus was quiet, almost as if it were sleeping under the giant white blanket. She could just barely make out a few students on the other side of the quad plowing their way between buildings. The walkway she stood on had been shoveled recently, but most of the paths on the quad had quickly been re-covered. Warwick, normally a be-hive of activity even on the weekends, was downright peaceful...

_Thunk_

Something cold and wet hit Serena in the side of the head. Most of it was deflected by her hood, but enough resulting snow got in her neck to make her squeal.

She whirled around. Jack stood a good ten yards behind her, holding another snowball ready in his outstretched hand.

"Jack!" Serena shouted, supremely perturbed. Yet, rather than get angry she decided to give him a what-for, and ducked down to grab a handful of snow.

Another snowball narrowly missed her as it flew past her left shoulder. Mashing her snow together into a roughly doughnut shape she lobbed her projectile in Jack's direction. It missed as he leaped to the side, but Serena was ready, and let go a swift volley in the direction he had leaped in and got him in the chest. Another snowball hit her in the shin but she took no notice as the fight intensified.

"Nice aim." Jack taunted as one of Serena's snowballs went wide of the mark.

"Hey! At least I'm not covered in snow!" Serena said, and it was true, she had hit jack much more than he had hit her. Yet soon after, Jack sent a snowball flying up onto the ledge above Serena and released a torrent of powder onto her head.

"Aaaaaa! Truce?" Serena called out. "I need to go change my clothes." The snow was two inches deep on her shoulders.

"You'll just get more snowy on the walk into town." Jack took off one of his gloves and started beating the snow off of her. "It's too cold for the snow to really start melting yet. You'll warm up on the walk and besides, I'm starving!"

Serena did warm up on the walk into town, though the snow kept coming down. The walk would have taken a good fifteen minutes on a clear day, and what with the unplowed sidewalks, they made a comical sight. The walk took them almost thirty minutes, and by the time they reached the Whistle Stop diner, Jack wasn't the only one who was starving.

"What's good to order?" Serena asked, plopping down into one of the booths.

"Anything." Jack said, looking at the laminated placemat-menu. "Except for the pancakes, they always burn them."

"Good to know. Do they do the same for the Belgian Waffles?"

"They're alright. I think I'm going to get their their Tuesday Special. And a strawberry milkshake."

Serena wrincled her nose. "And eat it with steak and french fries?"

"You've never dipped you're fries in a shake, have you?" He replied.

Their breakfast arrived faster than normal, given the sparsity of customers that very snowy morning.

"Wonderful, isn't it?" Jack asked as Serena swiped another one of his fries and plopped it in the strawberry froth.

"I can't believe I never tried it."

"I can't believe that you haven't had a snow day since the fifth grade!"

"Yeah," Serena lamented. "My middle school tended not to close for anything, and it's been too warm these past few years."

"Warwick was the same way last year. There was like, this week of early-morning delays, but no cancelations."

"Ick."

"I loved it because I got to sleep in a ton. But Travis, he got screwed – along with almost a fourth of the student body."

"What do you mean?"

Jack continued, "He's a day student, and he couldn't make half the drives even though lectures were going on. The school didn't penalize him, because that wasn't their policy, but it still took him a while to start back up."

"I didn't know that."

"Well, you haven't been around long enough to understand the by-laws of the school. Of which there are many."

"Not that, I didn't know Travis was a day student. I just saw him around so much I assumed he was a boarder."

"Well, he pretty much does live in my room most of the day you don't see him, so I'm not that surprised. What with sports and all the study groups he insists on starting up, he usually doesn't get home until ten and even crashes overnight sometimes."

"He must have been the one who started up my Chem group then." Serena thought out loud. "He seems like the one of the most organized ones there."

"Yep, he takes his studies quite seriously. Has Ivy-League aspirations and everything."

Serena laughed. "This is 'prep' school, after all. Doesn't everybody?"

"_You_ do?"

"Well, my mom went to Brown. I've visited. It seems like a pretty cool place..." Serena paused. There was something in Jack's voice which seemed a bit incredulous. "Are you surprised?"

"Kinda."

"Why?" _It's probably the grades _she thought. "Don't think I'll get in? I admit it's a long shot, but I have a right to hope, no?"

"It's not that, it's just Ivy didn't strike me as very you." Jack replied.

That shocked Serena a bit. Issues over grades she could understand, she was far from a stellar student. Over their first dinner Ms. McClux had brought up the question of college, hoping to assess what Serena's goals were so to make a better effort to help her. When Serena had mentioned she was interested in Brown, even Mrs. McClux's unflagging optimism faltered a bit, which didn't surprise Serena knowing full well her less than spotless record. But not her type? Wasn't that why the Ivy's were so hard to get into – that they were the perfect fit that everyone could aspire for?

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well, Providence is a pretty happening town alright... but you seem a more creative thinker than to want to ascribe the Old-School academic route. I thought you'd be the type to apply somewhere out of the box, maybe in California, or take a year off."

"I'd never even considered it."

"Well, where else is on your list?"

"Ah... I don't really want to think about it yet." Even as a sophomore, all this college talk was starting to stress Serena out a bit. "What about you, oh wise all-knowing Junior? The college office must be jumping at your throat."

"You're right. The college office demanded and I produced a list of what I want in a college. All I really know right now is that I want a small community. I'm capping the student body size at 3000.

"You're not applying to _any_ Ivy's?"

Jack took a second to savor the last bite of his steak. "Nope."

To Serena that was simply unfathomable."Well, if you went to St. Jude's you'd have little competition. Everyone wants to get into an Ivy there."

"Really? That's unusual."

"Not really. Its parental expectation: the curse that comes along with the blessing of being a legacy." Serena said, thinking of Nate and his father's enthusiasm over Dartmouth... an enthusiasm which they did not share.

"Well, I can honestly say I'm glad never had that." Jack said, eating his last fry and eying the uneaten half of Serena's Belgian waffle. "Are you going to finish that?"

"Yes! You've just kept me talking." Serena said, clanging her knife and fork over her plate to defend her breakfast from Jack's mooching tendencies. "So, tell me about your connections, or lack there of."

"Oh, it's not for lack of connections that I don't suffer from parental pressure. My grandfather and father both studied law at Columbia. My mother's father went to Princeton and my mom went to Yale, but she dropped out midway through to pursue cooking."

"Cooking?"

"Yep, she's a chef. My father practiced law for a long time, but then went into early retirement to pursue journalism."

"Well that's pretty out of the box."

"Well, they're not quite rebels, but they both learned in different ways that the Ivy-Leagues aren't the be-all, end-all of life."

"I'll say. I'm surprised they sent you to prep-school at all."

Jack snorted. "You obviously don't know my parents. It's the only educational system they do believe in – Warwick. They've been crazy about this place ever since they graduated. They talked about me going for ages."

"They _met _here?"

"Don't worry, it's not as cliché as it sounds. They were friends when they were here, but didn't start going out until after my mom dropped out of Yale and transferred to NYC for culinary school."

"Wow."

"Yeah, its pretty crazy... so what about your parents?"

"I never really got the full story." Serena said, looking around for an excuse to change the subject. She really didn't want to go through the whole sordid mess. Finally she noticed the sunlight pouring in the windows.

"I guess it's stopped snowing." Serena said.

"Thank you captain-obvious!" Jack leaned back in his seat, stretching out his arms above him in an action of replete satisfaction. "Too bad though. I was hoping it'd keep up and we'd be in for another snow day tomorrow."

"That happens in real life?" Serena grinned. "I've only seen it in the movies."

"Well, they do happen once in a blue moon or so..."

A chime signaled in the background, and Jack turned to see who had come in.

"Hey guys!" Jack signaled from the booth.

"Lily, d'you know Lily Jacobs and Milena Zlatv?"

Serena turned around and faced me for the first time. "No, but Kim has mentioned your names. It's so nice to meet you." She smiled.

* * *

"_And who am I?"_

(Gossip Girl)

-- -- --

Quite honestly, Serena weren't too close during her time at wouldn't be until years later, when we happened to be living in the same city that we would reconnect, become friends, and I would hear the story that I am telling you now. But perhaps that time was needed, I don't know if Serena would have been ready to tell it sooner. The pain over her coming and leaving to Warwick was unexpected, and so raw. She forced herself to be transplanted into Connecticut, and then was ripped up just as she was beginning to flower...

I'm not surprised she never came back.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's only January after all.

What I remember most about that first meeting in the diner was how beautiful and genuine Serena's smile was. Beautiful and mean so often go together, especially at Warwick, I was surprised at how naturally kindness came to her. She wasn't perfect by any means, but she meant well, more than I could say of Isabel.

But again, I'm jumping ahead.

Milena and I had come into town for lunch, but when we got there it turned out they were closing.

"Sorry girls," The net-haired woman behind the counter said. "But it looks like a bit more snow is headed this way. We're trying to clear out the kitchen before it hits."

Though Milena had been looking forward to their hash-browns, we couldn't argue with The Kitchen. So instead we grabbed some of their equally delicious blueberry muffins and a milkshake a piece, and decided to walk back with Jack and Serena, who were waiting for us at the exit.

Jack had been hoping to show Serena more of the town, but the weather had shut down all but the most hardy of businesses. So instead we took a long way back, walking along the river before coming to the second bridge which would take us by the Headmaster's house rather than the main road which lead right into campus.

Years later Serena told me her first impression of me on that walk was that I was very talkative. Looking back, I can see she was right.

"So Kim said you live in New York, what part?" I asked.

"Yep, upper East-side," she replied, "It overlooks Central Park. You're from the Upper-West side, right?"  
"Yep, though not originally. We moved there from Williamstown when I was about eleven. My dad's a Chemistry professor and left Williamstown to work at NYU. I have to say I much preferred life in the country. What brought you all the way out here in the middle of the school year?"

Serena shrugged. "I wasn't happy where I was and I wanted a change."

Even then, this explanation didn't settle quite right to my ears. It sounded to much like a co-out. Years later, I would discover that it was, at least, partially true. But for the moment I decided to pry a bit more in order to make sense of it.

"Oh?" I said, incredulous. "Where'd you go?"

"Constance-Billard."

"OH! My mom wanted me to have me look there but it wasn't me. I mean, I understand her wanting to keep me in town, but I was like, 'All-girls? Puh-lease!' Did you go there for middle-school too?"

"Yeah."

"A lifetime surrounded by girls. No wonder you wanted to leave!"

"Well, it wasn't _that_ so bad." Serena replied, a bit defensive. "We had a brother school who we took some classes with. Where'd you go?"

"Ever heard of Rosen-Gould Prep?"

"Nope." she said.

"Not surprised. It was a Jewish day school in Yonkers. I'd have stayed 'till college, but they had some bad finances and had to close the upper school the summer after my eighth grade year. Luckily they announced that long enough to in advance so I could apply elsewhere. My sister's still there though, in the sixth grade. Do you have any siblings?"

"I have a younger brother."

"Do you think he'll come to Warwick too?"  
"I doubt it. He likes St. Jude's, that's Constance's brother school."

"Cool, my younger sister's still a while away from making that decision, though. I don't think she'll come. It's not that she wouldn't get in, she's much more at home in the city than I ever was. I don't think that she remembers the rolling fields. I'll probably look out there for college. Where are you looking?"

And so the grilling session continued the entire way home.

Gradually Serena's guard dropped, and she even managed to laugh along with some of my bad jokes. She had begun to realize that, as an upper-west sider I was far enough removed that even if I had heard of GossipGirl or the world she tattled on, I hadn't make any connection to the initials and her name. It also helped that besides the initial questions about Constance, I seemed far more interested in how Serena was adjusting to her life at Warwick than asking prying questions about her past. To Serena, it was a relief.

Jack's mocking voice suddenly appeared in her head. _Is that really so surprising? The world doesn't revolve around the Upper-East Side, you know. _

By the time we all got back to Warwick, Serena could tell by her drenched boots that the soft, fine powder that had been sifted over the campus was beginning to melt. The sun had breathed life into the campus, it no longer slept under a blanket of snow. Snowdrops were falling off the trees, sending puffs of white in their wake. The melting snow had also released into the air again the sounds of the student body; a dull roar could be heard coming off of the Quad.

Immediately recognizing what it meant, I dashed off towards the noise. Serena and the rest followed a bit slower, not as eager as I was. The snow may have stopped falling, but as soon Serena stepped off the path onto the covered walkway which led around the quad, she was faced with another blizzard in the making.

The snow, hardened and compacted by the melting process, was being pummeled into snowballs by frozen hands and then being thrown every which way by what looked like half the boarding community; at least two hundred students.

"What the heck is this?" Serena yelled over the noise.

"Limbert and Finch are at it again!" Jack replied, pushing her out of the way as projectiles started being thrown their way.

"Huh?"

"The guy's in Limbert and Finch Hall do this every year. Someone starts by dumping..." Jack ducked and narrowly missed three snowballs thrust in his direction. "Forget it, I'll explain later." He then dived into the fray.

Serena went to turn towards Milena and but she had already thrust herself into the crowd after me.

"You coming?" Jack yelled to Serena over his shoulder.

She turned to follow him in, and quickly was coated with the remnants of five snowballs hitting various parts of her body, including her face.

She paused for a second to wipe the runny mascara out of her eyes. Idly, the thought _Blair would have a fit if she were _here crossed her mind. Unruly snowball fights that could have damaged her carefully manicured hair and makeup simply weren't Blair's style. A week before this reminiscence would have made Serena homesick. Yet there was no room for such sentiments in this snow battle over life, death, and dorm pride; so she charged in with the rest of them and took advantage of her excellent aim.

* * *

"_Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here."_

(Blair Waldorf, Episode 17)

-- -- --

The fight lasted for a good lasted for a good half-hour, and would probably have gone on longer if some of the guys hadn't started putting icicles in the center of their snowballs. After the third case of a bloody nose was reported, the dean of boarding students, one of the few administrators who managed to make it in, finally came out and blew the whistle - literally.

_TWEEEEEEEEEEEET._

The shrill blast amplified to ten times it's screeching capabilities momentarily stopped the fight as students everywhere dropped their snowballs to cover their ears from the devilish sound.

Dean Anne Parnelli, backed by the head of building and grounds stood on a chair at the Administration end of the Quad, holding a megaphone in one hand and a whistle in the other.

"Alright guys, you've had your fun. You know the rules, no balls in the quad, and yes that does include snow!"

"Aww... that's discrimination Mrs. Parnelli!" One rather cocky senior called out.

"Yeah, yeah, Zachary, I've heard it before. DISPERSE!" She shouted again.

Serena was finally took the time to check her cellphone, which had been buzzing in her pocket during the fight. Kim had left her a message.

_Sweet chance with the snow day, eh? Want to study at three?_

Looking at her phone's clock, Serena realized how late it was and turned to walk back to the dorm with me and Milena. I left her waiting in the hall.

"I'll go get Kim. It' was nice to meet you! Oh, and leave your boots at the door please." I said before dashing up the stairs to grab Kim and to check my own cellphone messages. If I had known who else was down there, I might not have left her alone.

It was the last time we would talk for weeks.

Serena took off her boots at the door and tiptoed around the muddy foot prints someone else had left. Even through her thick woolen socks she could feel the coldness of the hardwood floor as she approached the dining hall/study-lounge.

She wasn't alone.

A strikingly beautiful Puerto Rican girl was working on her laptop at the far end of the long dining table. Dark chocolate, almost black hair fell into her green eyes, their sharp color standing out in contrast to the golden copper of her skin. As the girl looked up, Serena only witnessed a fleeting second of guileless, vaguely curious interest before the girl's visage hardened into an expression of carefully plotted interest. It was the last unguarded moment she would ever see.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for Kim."

"She just stepped out... It is Serena, right?" The girl's voice was silkier than caramel, but with a burning undertone of acid.

"Yes..." Serena began. "Have we..." The girl cut her off.

"So I finally get to meet Ashley's new roommate. How is rooming with the bitch?" Malice positively dripped from every syllable.

Serena was a bit taken aback. "Excuse me, but who exactly are you?" She asked.

The girl closed her laptop and stood up. Her kitten heels clacked with every step she took towards Serena, finally stopping a hair width away from invading her personal space.

"You don't know who I am?" She breathed into Serena's face

Something about the girl's attitude caused Serena to bristle. "No, forgive me, I don't!" She snapped, drawing herself up to her full height.

The girl snapped into her own posture, and came up exactly eye-level with Serena. "_I_ am Isabel Diaz," She replied, her voice dangerously low. "Daughter of Governor Antonio Diaz, Sister of one Maria Diaz who happened to be the former roommate and friend Ashley Crawford."

"Ah..." Serena allowed a single nod; now she understood.

"I'm sure you have noticed a certain... line" Isabel continued, "Between Ashley and the rest of the school."

"I might have."

"I am the one who created it. And I have been wondering... what side are you on."

"What do you mean? I walk the line." Serena replied in an attempted Johnny Cash accent.

Isabel smiled at Serena's wit, though there was not a hit of kindness in it. "You really don't get it, do you?"

"Well then feel free to enlighten me!" Serena threw up her hands in frustration. "Everyone else seems to keep dancing around the issue!"

"Ashley might have put herself there for what she did to my sister last semester, but I was the one who made sure she was alone in that choice. Trust me, the line was my working and it can be stretched. The school is on my side and she knows it."

"Well, I do love an underdog."

Isabel raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow in a smirk. "You would really support someone who destroyed their best friend? What's to stop her from doing the same thing to you?"

That did stop and made her reconsider. She didn't know the story, it would be hard to think; but Serena could at least partially take comfort in that if Ashley were anything like herself, Serena knew that she wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"Ashley has no need to justify herself to me." She replied slowly and with finality.

"And that is your final decision."

"Completely."

Isabel closed her eyes for several moments, so long that Serena was about to walk away but then Isabel opened them again. As Serena met her gaze, she acknowledged that had met an ice queen the likes of which even Blair could not compete with. This girl was downright frozen; even her voice pierced like shards of ice.

"You're siding with the losing team. Mark my words, Ashley will be gone by the end of the school year."

Isabel really believed this; there was no hint of insecurity in her tone, as there might have been with Blair. Serena acknowledged that strength, and then met it head on with her own steely grace.

"I'll take that chance; I certainly don't owe you anything." With her spine erect, Serena turned around to walk out the door. "Tell Kim I stopped by." She tossed over her shoulder.

What would have been a superb exit was foiled by Kim opening the door and tripping over Serena's shoes.

"FUCK!" Kim yelled as her knee impacted with the floor, her voice shattering the proverbial ice.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" Serena rushed over to help her up. "Are you okay?"

"I've had worse" Kim replied, leaning on Serena. She glanced towards Isabel who had picked up her work and was heading towards the stairwell. "Hey Iz, can you grab me some ice?"

"Sorry, I'm going to finish this in my room." Isabel tossed a final scathing glance in Serena's direction, before turning up the stairs.

Kim frowned.

"Don't worry, I'll get you some." Serena cut in. "Lets just get you to the table."

When she returned Kim glanced up at her sheepishly. "I'm sorry about Isabel. She's not usually like that."

"Really?" Serena raised an eyebrow. Isabel's harsh words certainly fit in with the rest of her persona.

"Well... actually she kind of is these days." Kim smiled apologetically. "She always taken her time warming up to new people, especially girls. But ever since her sister was expelled, well, she's had heaps of trouble. What did she say to you anyways?"

"Nothing really."

"Well, it must have been something. When I walked in it looked as if you were trying to glare each other to death."

"Oh, I think she's just sore at Ashley." Serena

"Well, that's understandable." Kim said, flipping over page after page of her chemistry text with the eraser of her pencil. "Should we start with redox reactions or..."

"Kim... what exactly happened with Ashley and Isabel's sister?"

Up until now Serena had not been able to bring herself to ask the question that had been so burning at the back of her mind; perhaps for fear of what would be revealed about the closest friend she had here, but after her run-in with Isabel she knew she could not wait any longer.

Kim kept looking at her textbook, though she stopped flipping pages. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because it hurts!" As Kim turned to face her, Serena could make just make out glimmering tears in her eyes. "She was one of my best friends and she left with barely a word to me." It was obviously still an emotional subject for her.

"Look, I'm sorry." Serena began. "I know how hard it is to lose people you care about but, please... I need to know. I room with Ashley after all."

"Well then why not ask her?"

"I will..."_ Someday, _Serena thought, _when I know she won't ask me about my past. _"But you know as well as I do that one side is never enough."

Kim slowly closed her textbook. "It's kind of a long story."

Serena gave her a knowing glance. "I think I can make time for it."

"Well... okay. I take it you're conversation with Isabel had something to do with her passionate hatred for Ashley?"

"Something like that."

"Well, that's family loyalty for you, though they were never really that close at school; but Isabel is Maria's big sister, so I guess she'd be protective."

"Anyway..." Serena wanted to get on with it.

"The short version is that the school found some cocaine in Maria's sock drawer, and Maria claimed that Ashley had planted it there."

Serena's stomach dropped a notch as memories of her last 'trip' were stirred up unexpectedly.

"Why would Ashley do that?" She managed to cop out while burying her feelings once again

"Revenge." Kim stated simply, not noticing the tremble in Serena's voice. "Maria had just started dating Ashley's ex. He was a senior last year, and they had been broken up since he had left for Yale last summer. It was a mutual decision on Ashley and his part, but it was still it's a little low."

"Low, but incentive none the less." Serena granted, and checked it off her mental list. "Okay, we have a motive. They're roommates so Ashley had easy access to Maria's drawers so there was definitely opportunity. As for the means... well, how much coke was there?"

"I heard over twenty-five grams."

"WHAT!" Serena's shocked voice came out a bit louder than anticipated.

"SHHH!" Kim had to restrain the urge to clamp a hand over Serena's gaping mouth._ "I'm not supposed to know that!" _She hissed instead.

Serena was beside herself with incredulity. "First off, where on earth would Ashley get that much coke without serious connections? Second off, it'd cost a ton! Why would she buy so much if she'd only need a little bit to plant?" Serena hissed back, and a bit surprised that she was defending her new roommate so vehemently.

"How should I know about the workings of the drug market? And _keep your voice down._ I swear these walls have ears..." Kim took a conspiratorial glance around the deserted common area. "This probably isn't the best place to be talking about it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the only one here who hasn't written Ashley off as guilty." Kim said so softly Serena almost didn't hear. "And I have to live with Isabel."

"She threatened you too?"

"Not directly, but she knew that being friends with Maria, I got to know Ashley pretty well too."

"So how do you feel?" Serena asked so

"I'm honestly still reeling. It just happened so fast... she was gone just hours after the disciplinary hearing. I haven't heard from her since she left in November."

"She hasn't even been back to visit?"

"She's not allowed. That's the thing about being kicked out of Warwick, you're not allowed to come back onto campus until after your class has your graduation, unless explicitly invited by the Headmaster."

"Wow."

"Honestly, I don't think Maria would come back even if she could. I wouldn't, if it were me. Maria loved this place even more than I do - and probably even more than Ashley; with her father's constant campaigning, her life at home wasn't that great, this place had become her real home." Kim started to tear up. "Imagine being told you couldn't come back to your own home. It must be so incredibly painful."

_Indeed, it is. _Serena thought. "Alright, fine. So how _did_ this whole thing happen?"

"Well, obviously no one really knows, and I wasn't even there! Ashley never told me what happened and Maria was gone before I even came back. I only have what Jack told me had happened after I came back. And of course, Isabel has been telling her version to whomever would listen."

"Where were you when this was happening?"

"I was gone for the New England Fencing Championship."

"Got it. Continue."

"Well, it all started the week before Thanksgiving Break. Ashley walked into Dean Parnelli's office with tears streaming down her face. Ten minutes later she emerges with the Dean and they both head to Blanchcroft."

"Do you know why she was crying?" Serena asked.

"No idea. Travis was the one who saw her and I don't think he heard anything. Anyway, Maria was in her painting class when Mrs. Robinson showed up and asked that she be excused. When she got up to her room there was Parnelli, her adviser, and Ashley. Parnelli sat her down and told her that Ashley had made a very serious accusation, and that under the bylaws of the school they had no choice but to search the room; she then asked Maria if she had any contraband that she would like to bring forward before they began searching. Maria said 'Of course not!' and so they began.

Kim's shoulders slumped, as though recounting the very words was as taxing as the day that they had first happened. "It took them three hours to through everything, to invade every nook and cranny of two combined lives. Of course they didn't just search Maria's side, but they searched through everything and you can imagine that both girls had a ton of stuff. The details are sketchy at best; all I know is that they found some kind of wine bottle under Ashley's bed, and some coke in Maria's stuff.

"Twenty Grams!" Serena reminded her.

"Right. Anyway, they both had to go before the Disciplinary Board. Ashley got an in-school suspension for the bottles; she couldn't go to classes for three days and had to do work hours but in the end the incident won't go on her permanent record."

"What about Maria?"

"She shouldn't have been kicked out." Kim's hands were now gripping her pencil so hard that she went white around the knuckles. "It just was so wack. Warwick's usually a fan of second chances, in fact apart from possessing an unauthorized key there isn't anything explicitly defined in the handbook that someone could do to get themselves immediately kicked out. But this school also hates lying. So what the DB saw in the issue is that not only did Maria have contraband but that she also lied about it; the double whammy."

"That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, I think it was a total cop out. I don't think they wanted to expel her really, she was a good student, her family's high-profile and her father's running for re-election; Maybe Ashley would have gone to the press if they hadn't and they didn't want the publicity? I'm just not sure."

"Didn't people talk about it anyway?"

"Well, the press never got wind of it - I really don't know how they managed that one - but there was HEAPS of speculation in the weeks leading up to Winter Break; Maria was very popular, you see. Everyone was shocked to see her go, I heard from Jack who sits on the DB that they got over twenty letters asking them to reconsider their decision. The Headmaster finally got up in assembly and said, in not so elegant terms, to shut the hell up and it wasn't going to change."

"Wait, so Jack's on the Disciplinary Board?"

"Yep."

"So he could know exactly what happened."

"Maybe, but he'd never talk about it. I mean, he takes their confidentially policy VERY seriously; I doubt he even tells Travis what goes on in those meetings. Plus he'd get into heaps and heaps of trouble if word ever got out."

"But if it's still confidential, then how did the entire school new that there had been coke in the room?"

Kim snorted. "This _is_ Boarding School, not the CIA; Isabel told her side of the story, or ran a smear campaign. Take your pick."

Serena took a calculated guess. "So why'd he tell you about the amount?"

"Because he..." Kim stopped abruptly realizing she'd let something slip. "Nice."

Serena shrugged. "Good guess."

"Well... I guess I was freaking out a bit. I didn't know what had happened, or who to believe. I came back to find out that one of my best friends had been expelled, and the other one had become a social leper overnight. Isabel, who I had never really knew or liked, was saying all this stuff and I didn't know what to believe so Jack... tried to calm me down." Kim finished, but not before a hint of a blush bloomed on her cheeks.

_I wonder if he did more than that... _Serena thought for a second, before choking the idea (and a glimmer of jealousy) down into the depths of her conscience.

"Who do you believe?"

"I don't know Serena." Kim said, wiping the remnants of tears from her eyes. "I just don't know."

* * *

**Okay, another monster chapter done. And in less than a month! Who's impressed? ;-)**

**You may have noticed a minor break in the fourth wall. Don't worry, as a real life flesh and blood fanfiction author I'm not trying to write myself into the story: Lily Jacobs is a pen-name. I write regular fiction too, and Lily happens to be the sister of one of my main characters (the little sister back in NYC who is mentioned, though never by name.) I had set this fanfiction to be narrated in the third person but I knew Lily would make a cameo at some point so I thought hey, why not break the third wall and have the narrator address the audience? It was an interesting exercise in manipulation of the English language, and though I'm not entirely sure I succeeded I hoped you were amused by it none the less. They'll be a little more of her later.**

**Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated (seriously! I check my yahoo account almost every day hoping to get feedback!)**

**Yours, Lily Jacobs**


	8. BoyfriendGirlfriend Interlude I

**Hi All!**

**Kind of random, but has anyone else noticed that there is also a Gossip Girl category listed under 'TV-Shows'? I mean, that's where I looked to post this story originally because it follows the TV-series and not the books, but they hadn't created it back in January when I started. Ah well, maybe I'll just have to X-post it and risk the wrath of or maybe I'll just keep it here. **

**Either way, here you go: another mini-chapter here for your enjoyment. It occurs on:**

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**[Thursday, February 1]**

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**Chapter 6.5: ****Boyfriend/Girlfriend Interlude I**

_C: "You're telling me if you had the chance..._

_N: I have a girlfriend."_

(Chuck and Nate, Episode 1)

-- -- --

Travis threw his backpack down on the ground and flopped onto Jack's bed, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Bad day?" Jack asked.

"The worst. A Chem-lab due, two essays due, squash practice, and finally one very, very long group chemistry tutoring session."

"Sucks." Jack said absentmindedly. He was seated at his desk and typing furiously away on the keyboard.

"Talking to Sarah?" Travis asked.

"Nope, the parents about that movie we saw. Sarah's still in study hall."

Jack had parents who cared enough to talk about something besides grades, and a girlfriend! Some people had all the luck... which is what prompted his next question.

"Hey, Jack... you're not asking Serena to the V-Dance, are you?"

"Nope." Another barrage of pings emanated from his computer. "I was going to ask Heather."

One mental question off his mind, Travis let out a relieved sigh. "Good, 'cause I... wait. Who's Heather?"

"Ah Travis," Jack closed the IM window and stretched his arms lazily above his head. "Here I'd thought you'd been around me long enough to be able to tell when I was joking... there is no Heather, and unless Sarah decides to escape New Hampshire and come visit that weekend I'm not even going."

"I see."

"Anyway, why'd you ask?"

"Oh, I was thinking of asking Serena."

"No, I mean..." Jack turned to face him, his piercing gaze struck Travis as vaguely accusing. "Why did you think I would ask her?"

Travis shrugged. "You guys seem close that's all."

"Hah, not that close." Jack turned back to his computer screen and pulled up his email. "We're friend's that's all."

"Well, you guys do spend a lot of time together... you've never even thought about it?"

"Nope, she's not my type." Jack continued to avoid his gaze. Travis thought something about his voice didn't sound right, but didn't bother to press it.

Jack continued. "But why ask her anyway? The only dances here you need a date to go to here is prom. No one asks anyone goes paired to other dances unless..." Understanding dawned and Jack turned to face Travis in mid-swipe of the keyboard. "You _want_ this to be a date, don't you?"

"Yeah... or do you think it would be too forward? Should I take her out for lunch first?"  
"You_ like _her?" Jack was clearly shocked.

"Well, obviously." Travis frowned; had Jack really been that oblivious? Or rather, was Travis really not that obvious? True, the two had talked about Serena almost every day... even Travis knew that bordered on obsessive.

"Why?"

"There's nothing wrong with Serena's you know. She's nice, interesting...and not to mention cute! Do you know how rare that is at this school?"

"I meant, I didn't think she was your type either."

"Since when do I have a type? The last time I had a girlfriend was in the eighth grade."

Jack was still looking at him with a rather bewildered expression. _It's not either of us have a type,_ Travis thought. The closest Jack could come to might be intelligent brunettes, as he'd dated two in the past. Travis's type only had one thing in common... none of them were interested in him.  
"I just thought you'd go for... well, someone who didn't dress so well." Jack continued. "Maybe a cute nerd with glasses or something, like Kim. Didn't you like her last year?"

"I did for a while..." Travis said... _Until I found out she was completely stuck on you, you oblivious idiot! _Yet as soon as it appeared he shook the thought from his head; bitterness didn't become him. It wasn't Jack's fault, at least not entirely. Jack just didn't understand his effect on girls, or how half the things he said off the cuff could be taken the other way.

"And?" Jack continued, waiting for an answer.

"Well, I tried to be her friend first and that's all she saw me as. Maybe I want to try a different approach."

"Well, if you're set on it then far be it from me to deny Travis Li my wisdom." Jack acknowledged gruffly before a mischievous grin spread across his face. "You could try what I did when I first asked Sarah out. Sit down next to her during lunch and say 'Serena, let's face it. I'm hot,'"

"Jack!" Travis shook his head, this was so not what he needed right now.

"...at least in an asian kind of way," Jack continued. "And I think you're really hot. Thus, I think the next logical step towards conserving and amplifying our hotness to show up at this here dance together."

"C'mon!"

"We dance the night up all sexy-like and afterwards you can come over to my house, where we can get it..."

Jack's humor was abbreviated by a pillow, which was chucked with vigorous force at his face.

"Stop being your bottom!"

"Ow, that kind of hurt." Jack said, rubbing his cheek. "And you almost hit my computer! I never realized my pillows were that hard..."

"You deserved it."

"Probably." Jack turned towards a ping which sounded from his computer. "Sorry man, duty calls! You know what that means."  
"You're kicking me out?"

"Unless you want to be a peeping tom."

"She's fifty miles away!"

Jack undid his belt. "And you think they only invented the phone for conversation?"  
"Ugh, you're disgusting." Travis slowly got up from Jack's bed and began gathering his books. "And My ride doesn't leave for another 15 minutes. Joe's still in practice."

"Sorry about that. There should be some leftover muffins in the fridge that Martin brought for snack tonight. Help yourself."

"Thanks." Travis said, picking up his bag and turning to go. Getting in control of his annoyance he stopped just short of the door and glanced back, "Do you really think asking Serena to the dance is that horrible of an idea? No matter how much of an ass you are, you know I value your opinion."

Hearing the vulnerability alongside the seriousness of his voice, Jack answered honestly. "I think you're going to have to decide for yourself whether or not it'd be a good idea. You don't know her that well; maybe you should get to know her better first."

"You don't think she's going to say yes, do you?"

Jack shrugged "I think it's unlikely since she barely knows you, but it's a risk you'll have to decide whether you're willing to take." He said, deciding not to share how Serena had turned him down once already. Travis had the right to figure it out himself. After all, Sarah had turned down three guys before finally agreeing to go out on a date with Jack. Maybe it just depended on the person.

Travis walked out into the hallway. "I'll keep that in mind, thanks." He said, before closing the door behind him.

Jack turned his full attention to his computer.

Helinski91: jaaaaack!

Helinski91: helooo?

Helinski91: are you there Jerk-Face?

Jack grinned and hit the reply button.

--

Seventy miles away in the state of New Hampshire, in a dorm room not much different than Jack's, a mouse-haired girl named Sarah Helinski finally heard her computer send out a ping.

She checked the screen. "Sorry Boo, I was just dishing some advice." The IM from JAss256 read. She grinned too and hit the reply

"Not too important I hope." She replied.

JAss256: the most important of important! travis has girl troubles

Helinski91: oh god. lol. about time though...

JAss256: indeed. do you have time for a phone call?

Helinski91: not really. i have to take a shower and then get up to study for a test early tomorrow

JAss256: oic... so what are you wearing? ;-)

Helinski91: slap Jack! Seriously, its Molecular Bio and I still haven't finished memorizing half of the DNA sequences i'm supposed to kno

JAss256: pouts fine

Helinski91: we can talk for a bit tho... how's your girlfriend doing? ;-)  
Jack rolled his eyes. What it national Serena-and-Jack bashing day or something?

JAss256: C'mon, u kno it's not like that

Sarah grinned at his obvious annoyance. She loved teasing him about girls he mentioned he was friends with. Other girlfriend's might have been upset about the amount of time their boyfriends spent with other girls, but Sarah didn't have a jealous bone in her body. Besides, even if he did she wasn't there to see it.

Helinski91: when do I get to meet her?

JAss256: well, maybe sooner if u want to come visit and go to that dance thing. travis is thinking abt asking her to go with him

Helinski91: awwwwwwww!!1!1!! that's so cute!

JAss256: i know. i don't think she'll go tho.

Helinski91: Why?

JAss256: she thought I was asking her out a while back...

Sarah raised an eyebrow. Jack hadn't mentioned _that _detail before.

Helinski91: oh?

JAss256: yeah... she was new and seemed a little lost. i was on my way into town and asked if she wanted to tag along. anyway, she turned me down saying that "she wasn't really looking for anything"

With that, Sarah's momentary concern was brushed away by the laughter that burst out from her small person. Her roommate Amanda who was sitting at the desk next to hers was so startled she turned around.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"Sorry," Sarah replied, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Jack's friend Serena. She's ridiculous." This sentiment was then translated and repeated in one of the ubiquitous acronyms of the internet.

Helinski91: LMAO!

seriously? that's ridiculous, and must have been a shock to your ego.

JAss256: don't worry, my ego is big enough to absorb it ;-) She went to an all-girls school in the city, so obviously hasn't had a lot of guy friends.

Helinski91: obviously...

Sarah looked at the time.

Helinski91: ok, it's almost 10. time for me to sleep.

JAss256: k. have sweet dreams...

Helinski91: thanks

JAss256: ...of me naked ;-)

Helinski91: :-P love you too. g'nite!

--

_Maybe I will go visit him. _Sarah thought, then signed off for the night and turned her mind towards her textbook, not giving Serena's relationship with Jack anymore mind.

Distance might make the heart grow fonder, but it didn't change the fact that they were apart. If Sarah had been there to witness Travis's conversation with Jack mere minutes before, or more revealingly Jack's tone and face as he encountered the first (but certainly not the last) romantic interpretation on his and Serena's relationship, Sarah might have not have slept so soundly that night.

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**Hope you all enjoyed it! Look out for the next chapter, which I will hopefully get posted before October's end.**

**Also, please let me know what you think so far. Reader traffic can only tell so much, I really value your opinions.**

**Lots of love,**

**L.J.**


	9. Chapter 7: February Skies

**Important Holiday announcement!!!**

**I am moving Between the Lines to the TV/Gossip Girl Category**

**Without further adieu, my Holiday gift to you all:**

**I've gone back and finished all revisions on the other chapters. They're relatively minor.**

**... **

**Oh yeah, and I finally finished chapter 7.**

**Enjoy!**

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**[****Saturday, February 10 – Monday, February 12]**

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**Chapter 7: February Skies**

_N: "You guys like…?_

_D: Oh ah... I... I don't know._

_N: Yeah, well that's Serena. With her you'll never know."_

(Nate to Dan, Episode 2)

-- -- --

The tint of gray was purposefully eluding her, Serena decided. Paint palette in one hand and her mixing knife in the other, she gazed at the sky over Warwick's misty back fields, as seen through the oversized windows of the Art Barn. At first glance the sky was just a shade lighter than the store-bought gray she had used initially. Yet after finding that didn't look quite right Serena had noticed that the swirling patterns of clouds held violet and indigo. Yet even after she had added those colors, the sky still didn't seem right – it just wasn't cold enough. Serena shivered through her sweater – the colors just weren't cold enough to evoke the dismal feeling brought on by a February sky.

She had never liked February to begin with. In Manhattan, the clouds varied between spewing rain and snow and the sidewalks were always gross and slippery. Connecticut weather had not turned out to be much different. The temperature these past two weeks had been dancing around freezing, between rain and snow... and filled with the drudge of class work.

She didn't remember the Constance teachers giving out so much work during that month, but Jack assured her that it was the busiest time of the year. "Sandwiched between two breaks, they like to cram as much in as possible."

Life had returned to normal quickly after the surprise snow day, and in the days that followed Serena saw little of Isabel. Even when she did, all she received was a scathing glance; for now the threats made were empty promises, but even Serena knew better than to let her guard down completely.

As February drew on Serena found herself sleeping more; the combination of gray afternoons and less-than-thrilling homework problems encouraging her to nap two hours of each afternoon away. She found herself studying more too with few other distractions around, though the disappointment that showed on Kim's face after Serena's last quiz grade had come back just below failing helped encourage her somewhat. The last snow day felt like an eternity ago, and Serena wondered if February would drag on forever; the days as dull and endless as the gray sky she painted.

The school had at least tried to make up for some of it. The past weekend she had gone on a weekend trip to Boston with Jack, Travis, and about twenty of their classmates. They traveled the two hours there in a yellow school bus, and it had been the first time she had ever ridden on one. Serena smiled, remembering the shock on her friend's faces when she told them that, but it wasn't her fault that she lived in the city and had a driver!

Looking at the sky once more, Serena picked up her knife once more, sighed, and started adding yellow to the gray. She had also been painting a lot, like she was doing now.

Ms. Julie hadn't lied about the workload. Barely over a month into school, and already Ms. Julie had worked them through two still-lifes – one where all the objects were white, and another where all the objects were black. Despite that, Serena had managed to hand in both early and even garnered some praise from Ms. Julie, though not directly as Ms. Julie never praised a student's work unconditionally. From the class's senior teaching assistant who had applied to RISD, to the freshman jock who had scratched his head over what a pear looked like, Ms. Julie had provided constructive criticism for all. Serena figured it was to get everyone to work harder, which Serena was doing but more enjoyment than for a grade.

The piece she was working on wasn't even for class. It would be another week before Ms Julie handed out the next assignment, but with nothing better to do in class that morning Serena had looked out the window and begun sketching the view of the back fields. Since Jack had gone home for the weekend and Ashley had a squash meet that afternoon Serena decided to come in and work on it, rather than sit bored in her room.

Come to think of it, Serena mused, she wasn't sure if she was even allowed to be here after all. It was past five, and normally the building was locked by now. Would she get in trouble?

_I doubt it. _She assured herself, squiggling some purple into her mixed grey paint_. It's not like I'm vandalizing the place._ Even if she had, no one would have noticed; the walls and floors were already splattered with paint from past students in their artistic pursuit.

_Hmm... still not right. Yellow?_

Serena's train of thought was interrupted by the switching on of the overhead light, and a surprised feminine gasp.

Serena turned. Ms. Julie was standing right behind her.

"Oh. Serena." Ms. Julie let out her breath. "Pardon me, I was just startled. I didn't expect to see anyone here."

"I'm sorry. I was just working... should I leave?"

"Oh, no you'll be fine. Security doesn't come around for another few hours." Ms. Julie approached her easel. "May I?"

"Sure." Serena took a step back.

Ms Julie glanced between the sky and the painting. "Your grays might be too warm. Try putting more blue, but – not the cerulean, but the indigo. And raw ochre. That might help."

"I'll try that."

"Other than that though, I think you have it down pat."

"Thanks."

Serena looked out the window for another minute.

Ms. Julie interrupted her thoughts. "There's a lot more to gray than most people think... Before I started painting I hated it, but now it's my favorite colors. It's all about how you look at it. February was always my favorite month to paint."

"Really?"

"I think it's because February has so many contrasts. It's the in between season of winter and spring. There's thawing, frost, then the rain and snow, and long shadows which gives extremes in lighting."

I don't know. It's just so gray, you know? What I wouldn't give for even a teeny bit of sunshine, or even snow!

Well, Connecticut winters can be like that."

Serena sighed. "I doubt I'll ever get used to it..."

"Where's home for you?"

"New York City."

"Well, I guess it can't be much better than this."

"Not really."

"On the bright side you'll only have two more years to endure of it, and then on to college – where you can pick what state you want to go."

Ms. Julie went into her office, emerging a few minutes later with a portfolio and some paperwork.

"Serena, the school will be hosting a display of student work from several different schools this march. It's juried, so the work has to be accepted by the panelists, but I was wondering if you'd mind if I submitted a painting of yours for consideration."

"Sure."

"Great, we'll look through your work next week."

Serena waited a few minutes to make was sure she was gone, and then got up and turned the lights back off. It was nearing four o'clock, and on a cloudy winter's day the studio was starting to get very dark, but she preferred painting landscapes with natural light.

_So Ms. Julie wants me to be in an art show. I ended up with some of her mother's artistic blood after all! _The thought made Serena giggle. Eric would find this amusing... she felt a pang of guilt at the thought. She had called him a mere handful of times since they parted back in January. _I'll call him tonight. _She resolved, picking up her paintbrush to begin work again.

Another hour or so passed before her work was once again interrupted by the switching on of the overhead lights. Serena turned to face the intruder in annoyance, but her face immediately softened when she saw who it was.

"Hey Serena." Travis said, plopping down beside her with paint box in tow.

"Hey Travis. I didn't know you were in Ms. Julie's painting class."

"I'm in her Advanced Seminar: "Exploring Light and shadow in Classical antiquity." He went over to the drying rack and grabbed his canvas.

"Sounds tough."

"It's fun. You should take one of her seminar's next year." He sat down next to her and looked at her canvas. "What are you painting?"

"Oh, just a winter landscape. I was trying to fix the sky, but it's too dark to work now. Serena said, and indeed in the time they talked the sky had deepened from slate to charcoal, so dark was the landscape that serena could barely make out Farmers' River, which ran through the back.

"Too bad." He said. "What are you up to now?"

"Nothing, really. Ashley won't be back until later... I might as well do some homework."

"Homework? On a Saturday night? Now you sound like me," Travis joked.

"Ha. Maybe I'll just stay here and talk to you."

"Well, if you really have nothing better to do that that, mind if I ask a favor?"

"Well, it depends what it is." Serena grinned mischievously. "How many laws will we be breaking tonight?"

"None I hope. The next project I'm doing needs to have a figure in it. Would you mind posing for me for a few minutes?"

"Oh, modeling! I get to keep my clothes on, right?"

Travis blushed a bit at the insinuation. "Of course."

Serena got up and started striking a variety dramatic poses. "How vould you like me?" She asked, taking on a very fake Russian accent.

"Well, I'm not sure. I hadn't really thought about how this painting would go yet.

"Vhat is ze subjekt?"

"Mythology. We have to paint our interpretation of a god/goddess."

"Hmm..." Serena thought, then wrapped her right arm around her torso, with her left stretched heavenwards. "How ahbout z'is?"

Travis nodded. "Very reminiscent of a Greek statue. Can you hold it for a few minutes?"

Serena tested the strength of her outstretched arm. "Yez."

"Okay. Just let me when you get tired."

Pausing every few minutes, Serena tried pose after pose while Travis dutifully recorded them in his sketchbook. After a the preliminary tries Travis figured the pose he wanted, and moved to drawing onto a larger canvas. Serena placed one hand on her hip and jutted the other arm skyward, resting her hand on her forehead.

In all, they worked for two hours.

"Phew. When I worked for Gap I didn't remember it being this hard." Serena said, coming out of her last pose which she had been holding for twenty minutes.

"You were a model?"

"A while back." She replied, rubbing her shoulder to restore circulation. "I didn't get much material."

"No wonder you were so good. Most of the girls I ask fidget throughout the entire thing."

"You must not be paying them enough."

Travis shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a starving artist... well, that's not entirely true. I bought Kim a coffee and a doughnut – she was the only other one who was brave enough to pose for me last year."

Serena gestured towards the notebook. "Can I see?"

Travis hesitated for a minute. "Sure, though I don't think I did you justice."

Serena flipped at the drawings. The first few were unmistakably her body; the pencil-marks very angular as Travis struggled to explore a variety of positions. After they had chosen the pose he wanted, the sketches became increasingly more precise, with much shading. Glancing over to the canvas, she saw the resulting charcoal representation a very technically correct drawing of a young woman with wings. Yet, she could not quite see herself in the painting; as with all of his sketches, the face was a blank oval.

"You're really good." She said approvingly.

"Thanks."

"But why is she faceless?"

"The face will be done last... She's supposed to be the Goddess of Fate, but I'm not sure what I want her to look like yet."

Just then there was a knock on the door. Pete, one of the Canadian security guards Serena had come to know glanced in the room. "Ok you two, I'm gonna be locking the building in five minutes so pack up, 'kay?'

It took almost twice that for Serena to clean all her palette and brushes and put her paints away. Pete had come back and was tapping his foot impatiently as she locked it up in her alloted cabinet.

"Thanks so much for posing. You were great." Travis said as they walked out the door.'

Serena smiled. "It was fun."

"What are you up to now?"

Serena paused to check her watch. It was just six-thirty. In her painting frenzy she had completely forgotten about dinner, and the doors would be closing up in the next few minutes. All the way across campus, Serena doubted she could make the cutoff.

"Not much, you?"

"My parent's don't expect me back until nine. I was just going to go to Finch Hall, order wings and watch the basketball game. Want to join?"

Serena's stomach emitted a low grumble, answering for her.

"Only if you order enough for two."

***

If Serena had been thinking in terms of what Jack had termed her 'New York State of-Mind,' she would have concluded that the resulting several hours were the best first date she had ever had. Travis paid for the food and was, though a bit shy, surprisingly witty as he attempted to educate her upon the finer points of the all-star basketball season.

Yet, from the first week she was at Warwick, Jack had continually dragged her out of that mindset. Thus, Serena didn't recognize that Travis' gesture of asking her to share his dinner that evening were anything more than polite friendliness.

Besides, the setting was unlike anything Serena had ever experienced. How could she know that it was how most relationships started at Warwick?

They watched the game in the common room of a dorm, and certainly weren't the only ones around; many of Jack's and Travis' friends who had sat at her lunch table that first day were there catching the game as well. Serena joked with them as well, learning their names and their quirks. Finch Hall had the reputation of attracting the more studious of the junior and senior boarding boys, thus the group of guys were better behaved than they might have been in, say Limbert Hall where the few true Warwick Jocks, like Josh—the swimmer she had met the first day—lived. She probably 'flirted' more cracking jokes with the other guys than she did when talking with Travis. Yet, after the game was over, the guys quietly deserted the common room with knowing smiles. _They_ certainly knew what was going on.

But no one clued Serena in.

Even that Travis walked her back to her dorm afterward didn't help.

"So what was life like in the Big Apple?" Travis asked as he got the door for her.

"Eh, not much to talk about." Serena shrugged. "Busy, loud... you know, what you might expect from a city."

"Sounds much more exciting than here."

"Well, Saturday nights usually are a little crazier." Serena admitted.

"Lots of big parties?"

"Almost every weekend."

"So why'd you leave?"

Serena took a moments pause before answering. "New York, it just... got a bit too crazy for me. I wanted a change."

"Well, this is probably as much of a change you could get, going from towering skyscrapers to farms and fields.

"Yeah, but with so much less to do, I didn't think that everyone around here would be so busy! Or... what's the word Jack keeps using? 'Intense?'"

"I think it's just that everyone here is so involved." Travis explained. "Between sports and homework and clubs and friends and mandatory events, we don't have a lot of free time.

"You certainly don't." Serena pointed out. "You're the busiest person I know - and you have a commute!"

"Yeah, the hour and a half commute ensures that I only get 5.5 hours of sleep every night."

"So why come here?" She asked.

"Warwick is better academically than my public school."

"I see." Serena said, letting the conversation die just as they stopped at her door.

"Well, goodnight." Travis said and towards her a fraction of an inch as if to hug her, but then stopped. Serena didn't notice it as she opened the door.

"Have a safe drive back." She replied. "And that was fun! We should do it again sometime."

"If I need you to model again I'll let you know."

"Okay. See you on Monday... ugh." Serena wrinkled her nose. "We get our chem quiz back, don't we?"

"Yep. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, or what's left of it anyway."

"I will." Serena smiled again, a beautiful and breathtaking smile, before she closed the door.

Travis let the smile drop from his face.

_I'll have to ask her another time.  
_

He let out a half-hearted sigh, and then turned and was gone.

* * *

_D: "So, how'd you even get in?_

_S: I have a key."_

(Dan questioning Serena, Episode 12)

-- -- --

Mrs. Dolores was on duty that night and, as Serena surmised from the mouth-watering chocolaty scent hanging in hallway, had commandeered Ms. Robinson's oven.

Both an elderly science teacher and an adviser to some of Blanchcroft's occupants (Ashley among others), Mrs. Dolores had dorm duty one weekend-night per month to oversee check-in from 9pm-midnight and make sure all the girls were accounted for before the doors were locked. She also provided them with sustenance and entertainment.

Serena walked over to where Mrs. Dolores was sitting with the check-in sheet; _SNL was _playing in the background.

She looked up, with relief evidence in her rather red face. "Oh Serena! Thank goodness- I have been looking all over for you."

Serena glanced at the clock. It wasn't yet five minutes after nine. _Well, I didn't think I was _that_ late..._

"The sports girls will be coming to check in soon, and everyone else seems to be busy – I was wondering if you could decorate the cake for me?"

"Sure." Serena replied. "What kind of cake?"

"It's Ashley's birthday cake."

"What?" Serena was shocked. "She didn't tell me it was her birthday!"

"Well, I wouldn't have known if I didn't read her file." Mrs. Dolores consoled. "Everything is set up in Ms. Robinson's kitchen – ignore the brownies in the oven, they're for later. The frosting and sprinkles are all ready out on the counter, and the cake is cooling in the fridge."

"Sure... want me to put anything particular on it?"

"Well, you'd be better than me I'm sure. Just be creative!"

"I'll try." Serena replied, making for the kitchen.

"The candles are in the drawer – I'll come in and light them later!" Mrs. Dolores called out after her.

_I can't believe she didn't tell me._

Tubs of Chocolate and vanilla frosting were sitting on the counter-top, along with rainbow sprinkles and a few tubes of decorative icing for writing and other details. The cake in the fridge was square and confetti colored. Serena tried to remember if Ashley had ever voiced a preference for chocolate or vanilla, but couldn't; so instead she alternated the two flavors in stripes. Picking up a tube of red icing, she wrote 'Happy Birthday Ashley' in one corner, and deciding she still felt a bit creative she drew a squash racket below it.

Seeing nothing but forks and knives in the first drawer, Serena moved on to the second. Inside was a hodgepodge of odds and ends – hammers, nails, forks, tape, tennis balls, toothbrushes, yarn, and a dozen other forgotten things were thrown in helter-skelter. Digging through, she finally found the battered birthday candle box buried at the back corner of this mess.

It was upon picking up the candles that she found it wasn't the last thing in the drawer. There was another object below. She quickly swept off the layer of dust and revealed a small brass shiny object.

She would later reverently refer to it as 'The key.'

It was common knowledge among the student body that not all Warwick doors had unique locks and keys assigned to them. The school's extensive grounds and facilities held hundreds, if not thousands, of doors – most of which had locks of some kind. Commissioning individual locks for each of these door would have proved an enormous expense that the school had no apparent interest in forking over. Though the details of the process were not so visible, lock designs were assumed to be recycled - with slight variations - throughout the campus.

To make the system even more complicated, these slight variations were augmented by a hierarchy of keys. This system was more visible (and thus, better understood) by the student body. While the key Serena held would only open her bedroom door (as far as she knew), she knew Ms. Robinson possessed a key which could not only open her room door, as Serena found out when she locked herself out the first week, but any of the other rooms – this type of master key every dorm faculty possessed. In another instance that she knew of, Faculty members had individual keys per each classrooms they taught in, yet Serena discovered when looking for her lost watch, that the maintenance worker used the same key to let her into each of the three classrooms she could have lost it in.

Thus, all of the doors on campus could be opened by a series of so-called 'master keys' – keys which could open a varying number of dorm doors, lab doors, closet doors (and possibly doors in more than one of these categories) – yet no students knew precisely how many there were or what they were for.

Recent history had proved, however, that there was at least one kind of key on campus that could unlock all the dorms from the outside without setting off any alarms.

As an old New England boarding school, Warwick certainly had it's share of scandals. One tale of Warwickian Lore that Jack had seen fit to induct Serena in was of the double expulsion of two rather dense freshmen boys some five years past.

The story went that one of the freshmen had come into possession of a master keys – one he figured out that would open all the dorms on campus. Rumor was that he hadn't stolen it, but had inherited it from his sister who had graduated the year before. How she could have gotten it was never known, but as she had dated the son of the school's head ground's keeper (a piece of lore in itself, as he was a townie) some logical conclusions were drawn.

This first boy showed it to his friend, who in turn convinced him to copy these keys and to start selling them to interested parties so that they could sneak out and in of the dorm after curfew (all the Warwick dorms were locked after hours).

Their plan in place, the second boy went to drop off the key with a local key cutter with an order for twenty copies. He either didn't notice or purposefully ignored the fact that imprinted on one side of the key was the phrase 'Do not copy.'

He also happened to leave his real name.

The shape of all Warwick keys are the same – brass with a rather distinctive curled edge. Unfortunately for the boys, there was only one key cutter in town – and he happened to be the one that the School did business with. Recognizing his handy-work, the key cutter called the school and left identification number of the key along with the name of the boy who came in.

Possessing a master key was bad enough to warrant the first boy's expulsion, and the the attempted mass copying of such a thing ensured both boys got kicked out.

'Serves them right,' Jack had said, 'for all their stupidity. All they needed to do was wait for the second boy to go home to NYC and leave it with an unscrupulous locksmith. I could have pulled off such a caper in my sleep. '

Later, Serena could never pinpoint the emotion that drew her to pinch the key and slide it into her pocket. Whether it was sheer boredom or some deeper seated need for rebellion, all she knew that it was what she needed to do.

I think she did it just because she could.

Of course, she had no idea what this key could have opened. The door could have been as obscure as the closet under the Blanchcroft staircase. It could even have been a dead key, one that opened nothing any more because the original lock being changed years ago. A sneaking suspicion in Serena's heart thought that the M might have stood for 'master', but again she could have been wrong - it could have been a randomly assigned letter.

The key itself looked innocent enough. It was rather dusty when she picked it up, so it probably had been tossed in, forgotten until she uncovered it. Either way, the kitchen was used frequently by students. There would be no way to prove that Serena was the one that had filched it. Still, she messed the drawer around again

That key would come in handy later.

Mrs. Dolores came spluttering into the kitchen a few minutes later, finding Serena strategically placing the last of eighteen candles in the round cake.

"The squash team just walked in the door. Is everything ready?"

"Yep – you just need to light it."

Mrs. Dolores brought out her matches and began to light the candles in a circle, working from inside to out as not to burn herself.

"Well, lets hope she has her hair tied back. With eighteen candles, there will be quite a fireball atop this cake."

***

Ashley had won all her matches that day and barely been scored upon, thus leading the the Varsity Squash team to victory over Hampton Academy. Their team was now a shoe-in for the New England Private Schools Athletic (NEPSA) League championship title. This enough was a reason to celebrate, yet only a few members of the squash team who lived in the dorm joined in in singing Happy Birthday. Ashley seemed a bit embarrassed by the attention when Serena walked out of the kitchen carrying the flaming cake; yet thanked both Mrs. Dolores and Serena for all their hard work.

Finally, after they had eaten their fill of Betty Crocker goodness and played a few games of Guitar Hero on the PS2 the dorm kept handy, they went up to get ready for bed.

I can't believe you didn't tell me it was your birthday!!! Serena exclaimed as they ascended the stair case.

Ashley shrugged. "I don't usually mention it. "

"Well, this is at least a special one. You're 18!"

"It's just not something we make a big deal out of in my family." Ashley explained. "My dad travels a lot during this part of the year with his job, and my mom has my three younger brothers to watch out for."

Serena thought back to the birthday parties that she had had, the ones over the summer where she was on vacation more often than not. Compared to the elaborate bashes Blair threw, Serena rarely had proper parties as such – but her mother and brother usually ensured that they celebrated in some way.

"Well, I'm glad we got to celebrate today." She said, and then realized with some guilt she realized she had forgotten to call Eric, and now it was too late to do so.

Have you seen that internet skit? The one with the muffin man and the exploding birthday cake?" Ashley asked, breaking through Serena's train of thought before she could resolve to call back tomorrow.

"Nope." Serena replied.

"It's funny, I think you'll like it." Ashley went over to her desk. "It was this guy's senior thesis at RlSD."

"That sounds... different."

"He's a weird guy. He does a lot of..." Ashley cut off abruptly.

"He does a lot of what?" Serena turned towards her. Ashley was glaring at her still dark computer screen.

"Something wrong?" Serena asked.

"My computer won't turn on."

"That's odd."

"Yeah." Ashley held down the power button again, while pressing her ear to the mechanics. "The fan doesn't even sound like it's turned on. Everything seems dead."

"Do you have anything you need off there this weekend?"  
"Well... just one I'm working on. I have an English Lit paper due on Monday. "

Serena cringed. "Ouch."

"Yeah." Ashley let out a long sigh. "I backed it up on my network drive three days ago, but I basically rewrote half of it yesterday. The last time I did a full system backup was back before Christmas..." Ashley closed her eyes, as an onslaught of stress seemed to take over her. "I'm going to have to rewrite six pages again tomorrow..."

"That sucks." Serena commiserated, giving her a half hug. " But at least you have backed half of it up."

"Yeah."

"And at least it's not the middle of exams. ITS will be open on Monday, they'll be able to find out what's wrong."

"Yep..."

"But it's still an awful birthday surprise."

"Yeah." Ashley agreed. "It was working fine this morning..."

"Sometimes these things just happen."

"But still, it's weird right?" Ashley asked, almost sharply.

"Well... yeah." Serena conceded. "A little."

"Here." Serena grabbed her laptop from her bag. "I've been lugging this around all day. Why don't you find the website."

***

Sunday passed uneventfully. Serena woke up at noon and passed the rest of the day bleary-eyed with homework and forced concentration over her chemistry text book. She also had a history paper due that day, one which she had held off doing in order to work on her painting.

Monday dawned bright and bitterly cold, and sure enough Serena got her chemistry quiz back.

"Ugh." Serena groaned as she glanced at the grade, before quickly hiding it. Seventy. Barely a C-. While it wasn't as bad as her first quiz (she had at least passed), she had studied! And had hoped for a grade not on the edge this time.

"Did you do better?" Kim whispered next to her.

"Well, I passed this time."

"That's something! You're catching up."

"Yeah, but still. I studied so hard!"

The bell rang to signal the end of that period.

Travis came up to her. "Better?" He asked.

"I passed... but barely."

"Moles are hard. But this gas law stuff is much easier – you'll do better this Friday." Travis said knowingly.

"I hope so."

They got out of the building, and the wind immediately took Serena's breath away. It blew bitterly cold through her black jacket, puffy as it was. Serena noticed the sky. The cold blue had changed to a slate gray since the morning, but it was still bitterly cold.

"Going to lunch?" Travis asked.

"No, I think I'm going to head back for a nap." The history paper she had been working on the night before had taken until three in the morning, and she had to wake up for class. Serena was already exhausted, and still had fencing this afternoon.

I guess I'll ask you now then." He paused.

He paused long enough for Serena to get secretly annoyed. She was tired, she wanted to go to bed, and time was running out. But she didn't let it show, he seemed to be working something out in his head.

"Will you..." He begin. "That is, are you going to the V-Dance?"

_Oh, that's all? _"Is that this weekend?"

"Yeah."

"I hadn't really thought about it. That's the one that Jack's girlfriend is showing up for, right?" She vaguely remembered him mentioning something of the sort the last time they had chatted.

"I think so," He replied, not showing his jealousy over her mention of Jack's name.

"In that case, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to it?"

He said it with such practiced eloquence, that even through her pre-occupation with getting to bed she couldn't help but feel the warm glow of flattery. "Sure."

Travis' face lit up like a lighthouse. "Great."

The next bell rang out through the quad.

"Well, I'll see you later then." Serena said, before quickly making to her dorm room, the comfort of her bed the only thing on her mind.

But her quest for sleep by the sight of Ashley, still computer-less, furiously looking through her desk drawers.

"Hey Ashley. Could they fix it?"

"Nope." Ashley didn't look up. "I'm going to have to get a new computer."

"Oh no! What happened?"

"Apparently all the components went dead at once. Even the disk drive was unreadable."

So all your data...

"It's gone. Yeah."

"That's horrible. I'm so sorry."

Ashley seemed surprisingly calm, even if her fingers pouring furiously through her desk. "It could have been worse. The computer was insured, at least."

Getting her PJ's out of her dresser, Serena finally took a second to look at the sky. The mid-winter blue of the morning had given way to low-lying white clouds.

"Is it supposed to snow?" She asked.

"Not today I think, it's too cold today. This week though, we're supposed to get hammered."

"Nice." Serena said, and climbed into bed.

"Sorry, one other question. Was your computer on when you left the room on Saturday?

"It should have been, except..." Serena had to think for a second. "No, I took it with me. I had a presentation that morning in history, and I had been carrying it around since then. I took my backpack with me to paint that afternoon and didn't bring it back until check in. Why?"

"The tech guy said the only time he had ever seen something resembling my problem without water damage was when his client accidentally placed her laptop right next to a box of magnets."

That was a cryptic statement if ever she heard one, but Serena was too tired to pursue the subject further. Quickly setting her phone alarm, she let her head drop to the pillow - and knew no more.

* * *

**Once again, PLEASE READ!!! -**

**Important News:**

**---BtL IS MOVING!!! ---**

**To the ****TV****/Gossip Girl category **

**(It was previously under Books/Gossip Girl) **

**I know I jumped between the two, so I'm not sure if that will affect story alerts will be changing or not – but yeah. Look for updates there from now on – it will head over into that category shortly after Christmas.**

**-**

**Well, can I just say that first of all – I have been working on this since October, and I totally had the Travis/Serena modeling scene pegged before I even had a hint that Serena would pose for Aaron. Then again, she didn't say that he was the first person she ever posed for, so hey! It could still have happened**** ;-)**

**Lots of love,**

**(and remember, every comment is a gift and this _is _the season of giving ;-)**

**Lily J. Jacobs  
**


	10. Chapter 8: Valentine, Be Mine

**AAAA!!! SOOO LONG!!! My profuse apologies. Without further excuses, (which I know you don't want to hear but will be in my user-profile, if you do) I give you, the next installment!**

**-**

**[Wednesday, February 14]**

**Chapter 8: Valentine, Be Mine**

**

* * *

  
**

"_It never snows!"_

(Dan describing NYC, Episode 12)

--- --- ---

Come Wednesday morning, Serena's phone alarm had decided not to work either.

"GAH!!!" She exclaimed, clawing through her bed covers as she tumble out of her bunk.

To her surprise, Ashley was still sleeping below.

"Ashley! Wake up! "

"Mmph..." Ashley rolled over in annoyance. "What?"

"It's almost ten! We have to get up!"

Ashley's mumbling was incoherent to Serena's sleep-clogged ears.

"What?"

"Snow. Day." Ashley growled. "I turned off your alarm for you!"

"Oh… thanks." Serena turned around and pulled up her shade. The snow was falling heavy, thick, and white. She knew it was daytime, yet with the snowfall made the outside seem unusually dark, like there was a thick blanket pulled over the sky. There were no signs of it letting up.

"Close that window and go back to bed!"

Serena shrugged and did just that.

Two hours later the snow was still flying, but the roads were cleared enough to get at least some of the cafeteria workers through, and the grounds crew had cleared the walkways enough to get the students to the dining hall.

Serena walked the path alone as Ashley was still making her way out of bed. She found it surprisingly tranquil – though the covered walkways were open at the sides, the thickly falling snow created her own private tunnel. She could barely make out the bare trees planted to her left, and couldn't even see the dorms farther afield on the other side of the quad.

She had just reached out to grab the dining hall door when, to her infinite surprise, a pair of unexpectedly strong arms threaded themselves around her shoulders and pulled her back a step. Her fingers slipped off the brass knob just as a kiss was pressed into her cold cheek. Warm lips lingered on the spot as they formed themselves into syllables.

"Happy Valentines Day." Jack whispered.

"…gee thanks." She said dazedly. A warm glow washed over her cheeks as he embraced her for a moment longer, before gently letting go. Truth be told, she had almost forgotten it was Valentines Day. With no boyfriend or pre-planned social events to speak of, this February the 14th was an uncharacteristic blank in her calendar…

"No problem." Jack responded. "You were the first on my list."

… then reality doused her like a bucket of ice water.

Serena let out a deep sigh, chasing away the butterflies of illusion. "It was Ashley wasn't it?"

Jack winked. "Only the Junior Class Social Chairs knows for sure."

It would have only been fitting; Ashley was the one who warned Serena about this day. One of the more creative Warwick fundraising traditions was "Ivy* Kiss Day". Every year in the weeks leading up to Valentines Day, the students of the Junior class put up their lips for sale; selling their kisses to raise money for their prom. The kisses could be bought anonymously by anyone, for anyone, and be delivered by a junior of their choosing on Valentines Day (or the next Monday, if the holiday fell over the weekend.)

"And who else will you be assaulting today?"

"Lets see." Jack pulled out an emailed list from one of his deep pockets. "Three freshmen I've never heard of, Elizabeth – she's a senior but we go way back, and Kim."

"Well aren't you mister popular." She said, with a bit more sarcasm than perhaps the situation called for. She was still smarting from the bursting of her happy bubble.

"Please." He scoffed. "You should see Josh's list. The man has to kiss, like, twenty girls on the crew team alone. And you! When you're a junior you'll probably get jumped by the entire wrestling squad."

Serena wrinkled her nose. "God I hope not. They smell bad."

"You guys aren't frozen yet?" Ashley's echoed behind them both as she came up the walkway, almost buried in her L.L. Bean down-feather coat. "Serena, you are one slow walker."

Serena shrugged and Jack held the door for both of them as they went inside.

Their lunch was entirely disposable that day, served on paper plates and with plastic cutlery so that the few servers who were able to make it could get back home as quickly as possible after cleaning up.

Ashley, on the other hand, had no intention of going back to her room.

"You brought books with you?" Jack asked, eyeing her backpack before taking a big bite of meatloaf.

"Well yeah, I have a test tomorrow." Ashley replied. "I was going to go to the library afterwards." The library was one of the few buildings that routinely stayed open, even on snow days.

"I think you're underestimating Old Man Weather." Jack continued. "I mean, look at the radar! They'd be crazy not to call it a snow-week!"

"Well, I think you're overestimating this school's powers of observation." Ashley interjected, as she put her tray down next to Serena's. "But remember the day before spring break last year?"

Jack cringed. "Yeah." He turned towards Serena. "There was a big snow storm heading towards Connecticut, but the school didn't want to close early because they weren't sure if it would hit. But we were buried on Friday and most parents weren't able to pick up their kids until the next Monday. My family had to completely reshuffle our trip to Bermuda because of it."

"This school rarely make intelligent choices when it comes to cancelling school." Ashley agreed.

Just then, a somewhat malicious gleam lit up in Jack's eyes. "Ah ha! Another victim! Excuse me ladies,"

Serena shrugged and continued eating her spaghetti. A few seconds later Kim's piercing screech echoed over the vaulted ceilings of the dining hall, followed closely by the crashing of porcelain. Serena jumped about a foot off her seat.

"Ohmygod!" Serena gasped, her fork clattering out of her hand.

"You both certainly startle easily." Ashley replied, unfazed as she continued to cut up her pepperoni pizza.

"Only with him, apparently. Is he always like this on snow days?"

Ashley shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. We weren't really friends last year."

"Oh? Who'd he spend time with?"

"Travis and Kim, mostly, and I guess some of the other guys in his dorm. Before that? Well, I knew him even less well freshman year. But he ran with a very different crowd. They had some kind of falling out though, over a girl I think."

That piqued Serena's interest, but before she could ask more Jack had retreated to the table, followed by Kim's livid admonitions.

"You violated my personal space AND made me drop a tray! OF MEATLOAF! My parents sent me these slippers all the way from Wellington! I am going to KICK your ASS!"

Pertinent questions were thus delayed in the interest of playing peacemaker. She didn't forget completely, however.

"I don't get why she's still mad. I said I was sorry – AND I offered to pay for the dry cleaning!"

"Girls take a little while to get over the loss of special items of clothing." Serena patted his shoulder. "Don't worry; she'll get over it eventually."

Jack and Serena were plowing their way along the half-buried school paths leading out towards the sports fields. Ashley and Kim had left for the library, the latter refusing to speak to him until further noticed. Jack wanted to take a 'romp' as he called it (a type of excursion which was becoming a regular thing with them, Ashley would later point out.) As much as Serena liked the idea of getting away from the sight of school, however short the distance was, she changed her mind shortly after they set out.

"We should turn back." Serena said. "It's turning nasty."

The wind had shifted, and though the snow was falling down less thickly than before, it was doing so almost at a ninety-degree angle, so it felt like icicles were whipping through Serena's unprotected nose and ungloved fingers.

Jack merely shook his head without slowing down, two facts that Serena could barely make out through the snowfall. "You have clearly underestimated the Connecticut winter." His voice sounded distant.

"Seriously, Jack, I want to go back…"

"It's just a bit of snow."

"But it's cold, and I didn't bring gloves. There isn't anything to see out here anyway." It was true, the sports fields were a great plane of white. The forest that bordered it on three sides could barely be discerned from the sky.

"But this is what I always do on snow days." Jack replied.

"Hmm… what if I share some of my hot chocolate with you instead?" Serena knew that Jack, like herself, was quite peculiar about the quality of his hot chocolate. It may not have been the swiss brand that she kept stocked at home, but Godiva was nothing to shake a stick at either, and she knew Jack knew how protective she was of her stash."

"Hmm… you drive a hard bargain." Jack finally stopped and turned around. "Okay, fine. But only if you make it with milk. In fact, I have the stuff in my common area. Why don't you just bring the powder over?"

"Sure." Serena replied, not really caring about the details but just thankful that she would soon be back in the warmth. Turning back, she put her hands in her pocket hoping to warm them up. However, her right hand ran into something cold and hard. She numbly fingered it for a moment, before her nail hit the metal teeth and she remembered.

_Oh yeah._

_

* * *

  
_

_D: You have a key…?_

_S: …what happened to being beyond this?_

(Dan and Serena, Episode 17)

--- --- ---

"Here." Jack handed her a cup. "I think you will find the Chocolate to Milk ratio quite satisfactory.

Serena took a generous sip, and sighed into her cup as warm chocolate flooded her mouth. "Mmm... Your middle school math teacher would be proud."

They had made it back to the warmth of Jack's common room. Jack had grabbed two blankets and they were both curled up on opposite ends of the couch facing the fireplace, where a roaring fire glowed. It wasn't even noon yet, and the dorm was unusually quiet as most of the boys had chosen this day to sleep in as long as possible. Serena didn't disturb the quiet, but was content to simply stare at the fire as the silence stretched out between them. There was no awkwardness felt as they both sipped their cocoa, it felt comfortable.

"Hey, you're on the Disciplinary Board, right?" Serena asked.

"Yeah."

"So… let's say I broke a rule… and then I told you about it. Do you have to report me?"

He thought a minute, swirling the cocoa in his cup with one hand. "No. I'm not an RA. I'm not under any obligation to say anything..." His eye's narrowed. "Why? What did you do?"

"Here." Serena handed him the key she had dug out of her pocket. "Maybe you'll know what to do with it better than me."

"This isn't the key to your heart is it? I didn't think you were that corny."

"No!" She aimed a playful kick in his direction. "Trust me; I'm more expensive than that. I just found it… check out what it says."

He did and nearly dropped his cocoa on the floor when he read the serial number.

"Do you know what this is?"

"I can guess."

"It's a frickin' master key. Where did you 'find' this?"

"A drawer."

"A drawer? Uh huh. Where?"

"Ms. Robinson's apartment."

"SERENA!" Even without the added volume of his admonition, the anger in his voice was unmistakable. in the volume looked clearly shocked.

"What?"

"You STOLE from a TEACHER!" Though Jack had lowered his voice, his words sounded even harsher for it. "What happens when she finds it missing?"

"Hey, it was buried under a drawer. It had DUST on it for crying out loud."

His eyes glittered in genuine anger. Serena was a bit shocked; she'd never seen him genuinely angry at her before. But before she had a chance to bite into him he continued.

"What were you thinking? Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten in if someone figured out you have it? It's worse than having pot - you could be EXPELLED! Man, I thought you might be a bit of a rule breaker, but I never pegged you for a klepto."

"I don't think one minor theft will set me down the bad path forever. Besides, the key was hardly in use. I don't even know that it opens anything."

"Well then, why the hell did you take it?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" She retorted. "It was kind of an impulse decision."

"Well, get rid of it."

"No."

The stubbornness of her response surprised even her.

"No?" Jack asked, shocked.

"No, I'm not. It's a key, Jack, not a bottle of tequila. It's not going to be that hard to hide. I have a perfectly useful key, which as you said is a master key, who knows when it might come in useful."

He made as if to argue again, but she beat him to it.

"And you're right Jack. I may not be a klepto but I'm not afraid of bending the rules when I need to. I've tried to be good, Jack. But I'm bored. I've been bored for weeks. Don't you get it? This key… its possibilities. For all I know, it might not open anything; they may have changed whatever locks it was connected with. But I might as well try to figure it out."

"There are thirty thousand doors on this campus!" He pointed out, exaggerating just a bit. "You don't even know what this one goes to."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm going to start figuring it out… now." Not that she had planned to, but in the heat of their argument it seemed like the best possible move.

"Now? In broad daylight?"

"Why not?" Serena started walking towards the main hall. "None of the faculty are around, and all the buildings are unlocked during the day. I can go through each classroom one at a time."

"You're going to get caught." He denied her flatly. "Campus safety is still wandering the halls. A student, wandering the halls with a key not her own? That smells suspicious."

"Well yes…" She thought out loud, "But not if you come with me."

"How you figure?"

"Well, it _is _Valentines day." Serena gave him devilish wink. This was really too much fun. "We'd just use the obvious, and much more excusable cover."

They went through the campus, working their way building by building. Jack kept a lookout and covered Serena from view as pushed the key into various locks. The snow had picked up while they were in doors, and as such they were only a few times, mostly by students couples looking for a private enclave, and once by a wandering security guard. Serena and Jack had just entered the building when he came into view. Serena grabbed Jack's arm and nestled her head into the crook of his neck, until they could both hear the echoes of his retreating footsteps.

"You can let go now." Jack said after a few moments longer than strictly neccecary. And she did.

The entire day was rather discouraging. Though they had made it through most of the buildings, they had only found a few doors that could be unlocked, and in no particular order: two offices, a hallway door, and (strangely) all the broom closets. All the classroom doors, however, stayed locked.

"Well, that was disappointing." Serena frowned.

"Yeah, you'd think a key marked M would open more than one door of a type."

"Maybe they rotated the locks?"

Jack shook his head. "No, that'd be too expensive. Likelier this key doesn't go with classroom buildings."

"Then what about the broom closets?"

"Maybe they're just the lowest of the low – any key can open them?"

"I suppose. Should we hit the gym next?"

"What, to work out?"

"No, to see what this will do."

"You're seriously going to go through all the locks at this school just to satisfy your curiosity."

"Like I said, I'm bored."

"The idea of living with your closest comrades twenty-four seven starting to get old? Painting not exciting enough for you? What else would you rather do?"

"I don't know!" She threw up her hands. "I haven't travelled outside of this town in weeks! I'm getting a little stir crazy!"

"Uh huh. And how often did you leave the City during the winter?"

"Probably once a month. But come on, even you have to admit that there's a lot more to do in the city than here."

"Well, of course there is. Warwick doesn't have eleven million people. I'm just trying to help."

"I don't know if you can, but thanks for trying."

"Ok, so if it was a snow day in New York City, what would you be doing?" He asked

"Oh… well, after sleeping in my best friend would probably invite me over to her house to watching something with Audrey Hepburn in it. We'd eat waffles and drink hot chocolate."

"Well, I don't know if I can help with the first. Roman Holiday is one of my girlfriends favorite movies. I must have sat through it half a dozen times last summer. Too sappy for my taste." Jack's nose had a very cute way of crinkling when he showed displeasure, which made Serena chuckle at the sight.

"…but I do have some hot chocolate mix in my room." He continued. "And movies. Let's go watch some. I'm half-frozen and it's too cold to keep standing around here."

"Sounds like a plan."

The hot chocolate was Ghirardelli, which Jack warmed up in a saucepan along with the milk while Serena glanced through the DVD case he had brought down. Somewhere between the lines of Film Noir and Science fiction, he did also have some classics. They settled on Animal House. "An iconic example of the power American film making;" Jack had speculated. "Their evil suggesting to parents, administrators and lawmakers alike that such debauchery was rampant across the board and convincing them to raise the drinking age." Serena thought Jack was full of it and said as much. "Maybe, but the rest is, as they say - history."

"Come on, you don't think the drinking age high school students are doing that exact same thing?"

"Was there a lot of drinking in your last school?"

"Tons."

As Serena got more and more intuned with the Warwick daily life, questions about Constance and her life before these walls had become increasingly rare. Even Jack hadn't tried to pry in so long that Serena had thought he'd given up. This last question had caught Serena so off guard she had given an inflammatory response instead of an inert comment that served as her usual form of deflection.

From the way Jack was looking at her now it was obvious that he wanted her to elaborate. A month ago she wouldn't have dreamed of it; but maybe it was the fact that they were completely alone – an unusual feat for the busy life of Warwick students. They were also literally snowed in, holed up in the common room and nestled in blankets that Jack had brought down. The drama of New York seemed miles and miles away. So, Serena answered honestly.

"Yeah. Drinks after school at Socialite, Red Pagoda, whatever the 'club of the moment' was between Fifth and Seventh. We'd go out every week, pretty much. There was usually one main party on the weekends, though not always. Sometimes we'd just raid our parents' liquor closet or go clubbing."

"And the parents were okay with this?"

"They didn't really have much say in the matter. It's not like they could lock them in at night – it's not that hard to catch a taxi. Though, I suppose they could have cut them off allowance wise… but honestly? I don't think most of them cared enough to do so. Mine didn't."

"And you're bitter about it why?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, from your tone it sounds like you hated it, but it seems like you were the life of the party."

"I had my moments. Trust me; you don't want to hear the details… I'm actually surprised I haven't seen more drinking around here! I mean, some of the stories I heard back home about life at boarding schools were wilder than Constance."

"Yeah… well, Hanover Academy is like that for sure, there's a running joke that the teachers allow them to do it because it's the drunken glow saves them on heating costs. I mean, don't under estimate Warwick's seedy underbelly. We're just more discrete. About five kids get expelled for drinking every year, and it's generally because they get too drunk and do something stupid to call attention to themselves. Tons of people have alcohol in their rooms; of the twenty-five guys on my floor, I know that five of them keep alcohol in their rooms, though I'd guess at the real number is more like fifteen. I know four of them have tried pot while on campus and three others are pot smokers. One uses Ritalin without a prescription."

"Wow. How'd you know all that?"

Jack shrugged. "I'm observant."

"Enough to have x-ray vision?"

"Well, I have very good hearing."

"Wow."

"Come on, you know how thin the walls are."

"How do they get it?"

"I don't know. Why, curious?"

"Ha, better not let me know."

"And here I thought you were a straight arrow… well, I'm impressed you've grown out of it. You've clearly started making good life choices." The cheekiness of his tone brushed Serena the wrong way and she had to bite back the urge to set him straight.

_You have no idea how hard it __was. It wasn't all a choice you know._ She thought instead.

He clearly didn't know her. Nothing right now would make her backslide. The need to drink came out of the environment they all were in. Granted, a gin party might lighten up a Saturday night here. But, well, you _had _to drink there if you even had a chance of being ignored. To be truly popular, you _had _to go all out. Besides, the more you drank, the easier it was to forget the sorry situation which put you there in the first place…

"Why were you angry?"

"Huh?"

"When you were shouting at me for having the key, I've never seen you so livid."

"Oh… yeah, I guess I over-reacted. I just don't like seeing people do stupid stuff that could get them in trouble. Especially my friends. I see it happen more often than most, remember I'm on the DC. It's no fun to expel someone, trust me."

"I can't imagine."

_You bet you can't_. She thought. And though they soon moved into the warmth of the gym, the air between them remained frosty.

* * *

"And who are you?"

Amelia, Episode 18

--- --- ---

By four o'clock they had combed through the academic and athletic buildings on campus and weren't any closer to finding what the supposedly "master" about the key. The doors they opened included one faculty office (Mr. Rhodelli, who taught Calculus), seven broom closets, and three classrooms, and the back door of the painting studio, but with no discernible pattern. Their most interesting discovery was actually behind an unlocked door – there was an old stairwell in the back of one of the closets which led up to the copula on the third floor of the main building. The library, the gym, the chapel, and the residence halls were still left to be explored.

"Should we try the dorms now?" Serena asked as they came out of the language department.

"No. Too many people are around and the snow has stopped. We'll have to wait until dark."

They walked back towards the dorms, crossing over as they did the main road which allowed cars to drive through campus. Parked on the chapel side, (in the fire lane), was a black stretch limousine.

"Huh. It isn't often you see a limo drive up through Warwick." Jack commented.

Serena turned to look, but at that moment the sun came out, and the glare off the limo's windshield momentarily blinded her. As she rubbed her eyes clear of it, she heard a door open and a voice call out to her.

"Hello Serena."

The voice was sarcastic in its arrogance, as well as chillingly familiar. Two invisible hands clenched and twisted Serena's stomach as her vision cleared and she saw the familiar figure descend into the snow, and glance knowingly at the arm that held Jack to her.

"Just as popular as ever I see. Well, it's refreshing to know that nothing's changed."

Serena let go to Jack and didn't say anything, just stood and stared unbelievably at the figure who she had thought she left in Manhattan, her mind trying to make sense of the wreck of her carefully constructed two worlds colliding here irrevocably.

As they looked at each other the silence began to stretch into 'awkward' territory, but only Jack seemed to mind. He shifted against the cold for a few minutes, but finally good manners got the better of him. He walked forward into the heat from their stares and he held out his hand to the newcomer.

"Hi. I'm Jack Montgomery."

"Jackson Charles Montgomery." The enigma in front of him ignored the outstretched hand while savoring the name. "House in Fairfield, you summer at Newport."

"Yes."

"How does your brother like Harvard?"

"Ah... a lot from what I hear…" Jack blustered, and he _never_ blustered. Montgomery wasn't that common of a name, His father might have been the founder of a prominent architecture firm, but he didn't think the name was _that _recognizable. His brother and he didn't look that much alike either.

"I'm surprised you made the connection." He pressed.

"What can I say? I know everything."

"Well, it's good to meet you, ah..." Jack raised an eyebrow, obviously wondering who this person was that could zip up his normally laid-back friend tighter than a straight jacket.

"Yes. The formalities."

The grip that finally gripped Jack's hand was firm and cool. Two professional shakes at first, yet then a third which lingered, trapping Jack's hand as he tried to escape. It was as distinctive as well-tailored business suit, leaving Jack with a cold sense of the power behind this individual. The figure smiled knowingly.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

* * *

* It's called 'Ivy Kiss Day' because Eleventh Grade-ers, ie juniors, ie Form IV had the archaic nickname at Warwick of "Ivies". I-Vee. IV – Four. Get it? There are nicknames for every grade, but you don't need to hear those now.

-- -- --

**AN: ****OMG! This is going to be fun :-)  
**

**This chapter also took way too long in coming, in truth it was finished a good three months ago. Rather than suffering over tweaking it to perfection, here it is complete and uploaded! My profuse apologies.  
**

**I'll be adding another side-story, soon, called 'One Week Later' – one week after graduation Nate and Serena get together for a chat, discussing where they are and where they are going. Enjoy!**

**-Lily Jacobs  
**


	11. Chapter 9: Relapse

**Welcome back my dear and faithful readers! I apologize for the probable inordinate number of spelling mistakes below – but this part has been burning a hole in my hard-drive for the better of this past year, and I want to get it off now.**

**[Wednesday, February 14 – Friday, February 16]**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 9: Relapse**

"_I'm Chuck Bass"_

Serena and Chuck staring at each other, and Jack looked from one to the other.

"Chuck, what are you doing here?" Her voice could have broken stone. No longer did she appear shocked or confused, but looked at Chuck with a mixture of disdain and incredulity...

This Serena that Jack looked at was not the spunky girl he had grown to know. If anything, this was the girl he had first met.

_No, this is the way she_ _was_. He thought. Calm, cool and collected; she was ice personified. What Jack didn't realize was how thin that coating truly was, and underneath there lurked secrets she had tried very hard to bury. He did know that this unexpected guest was intruding upon her life, and that she was far less than happy to see him.

_This should be interesting. _He thought.

"I was in the area." Chuck replied. "Just thought I'd drop by and say 'hi' to an old friend." Taking in the sight of Serena for the first time since December, he had to admit that she looked magnificent. Gone were the dark circles under her eyes and starved look of a party animal, it told him she was getting enough sleep and staying out of trouble. Though she was no longer tan, the winter wind had whipped the apples of her cheeks rosy and her skin took on a pale luminescence to better set off the deep gold of her hair: she was like a pale ray of winter sun, beautiful and untameable, yet Chuck could sense her simmering underneath in secret rage that he was here, disturbing this secret hollow of tranquility he could only imagine she had fought hard to create. He wondered vaguely of the boy, Jack, at her elbow and how close they were, and how much he knew of her past. Chuck could tell immediately how much his arrival had thrown Serena for a loop, and that this icy facade was but a thin veneer. A few well placed words he could crack it, if he played his cards right... But with a rueful shake of the head he remembered he was not there play.

_But still... t__his should be fun._ He thought.

"What brought you all the way out here?" _Because there is no way in hell you were 'just' in the area. _Serena was nothing if not deliberate. Many were blinded by his seemingly reckless and impulsive lifestyle, but she knew he never took a risk without first calculating the cost. He got that from his father. He would have planned this trip out.

"Driving back from checking the Boston townhouse. My father's planning to sell it to a friend and I offered to go up and check in on the property."

"I'm amazed that the snow was cleared enough to get through."

"I was going to fly, but the snow closed both Logan and the NY car seemed the logical next choice."

_And you made sure to take the coastal route, however out of the way it is. _She thought. _What do you want, Chuck Bass?_

"Besides, I've been meaning to stop by." He continued.

_For how long? _She abstractly wondered. Even though she was still in partial shock her defense mechanism had kicked in, and she drew into herself all the uncertainty, shock and secret fear for what this might mean; wrapping around herself a cloak of icy indifference. Yet she acknowledged Chuck's devious nature, and knew that he would not be easily deterred by her defenses. Maybe not in seconds, but his very presence was slowly eating away at her defenses, reminding her the world she thought she had escaped was not so very far away after all. She didn't know how long her composure would hold before it started to crumble down around her.

_This is going to be bad._ She thought.

_Very, very bad._

There was only one thing to do: get Jack away so he wouldn't witness the fallout. Once Chuck had decided to do something he would do it. And he said he wanted to visit so she was stuck with him for a few hours at least.

"Well, before we do anything I need to change. You can wait in here." She opened the door to her dorm that was in front of them, and left him to ponder the roaring fire that Ms. Robinson's husband must have set up that morning.

"Nice place." He commented, eyeing the rich detail in the mahogany mantle piece. "Very '_Old School._"

"Chuck, I'm sure you can find some way to amuse yourself while you wait."

"Don't I always?"

She didn't bother responding, but quickly retreated up the central staircase and dialed Kim's number upon reaching the safety of her room.

"Hey Kim!" She said breathily into her phone. "I need a favor."

"'M'kay... what is it?" Kim responded sleepily. Serena guessed that she had just woke up

"I have a friend visiting, but Jack and I were supposed to hang out this afternoon. I was wondering if you'd mind distracting him?"

"Sure. Is he cute?"

"Huh?"

"The friend. Is he cute?"

"Ah...kinda." Serena clenched her jaw and said with a grimace. If deception was what it took to help get Jack away, then so be it.

"Sweet as! Don't worry about a thing. Where are they now?"

"In the common room. They think I'm upstairs getting ready."

"Give me two minutes and Jack will be out of your hair!"

"Thanks." She snapped her phone shut and concentrated on getting ready.

Five minutes later she came back down to an almost deserted common room. One lone figure stood by the fireplace, looking into the flames.

"Jack left to help a friend with a history project emergency. He's handsome, I'll give you that, but seems a bit too clean cut to be your type.

"He's not my type."

Chuck merely raised an eyebrow.

"He's seeing someone."  
If anything, his smug expression took an even greater aspect of amused incredulity, almost as if begging the question, _And that's really an issue? _She quickly changed the subject.

"Why are you really here?"

"Now S, is that any way to greet an old friend?" Chucks voice was as cloying as ever, but almost disinterested. He had still not taken his eyes off the flames.

"Well Chuck, what am I supposed to think?" She raised her arms in exasperation. "You show up unannounced at least fifty miles out of your way from an errand one of your father's many underlings could have easily taken care of, and expect me to not think you have an agenda?"

"Maybe I just wanted to play hookie." He replied.

"You know as well as I do that the entire East Coast is having a snow day right now."

"Maybe I really did just want to say hi. It's not like we've seen each other in months."

"Yeah," She rolled her eyes. "Right."

"Cut the crap, S." He finally turned towards her. "You know you're happy to see me."

And strangely enough, she was... at least on some level. His was the first old familiar face she had seen in months.

"I guess… it has been a long time." She finally admitted.

"You know I'm impressed. People go to boarding school normally lose touch, but normally they don't drop off the face of the earth. No one has heard a peep out of you since December. I never imagined Connecticut was so interesting.

"They keep us busy here. The work's harder..." This, at least, was true.

His hand found it's way to the small of her back to guide her towards the door; her guard went instantly back up. She had almost forgotten how manipulative he could be.

"On my way in I saw a pub. Small, dark, secluded..." His voice simmered with darkness she had left behind. "Why don't you join me and tell me what _has_ occupied your attention."

"Chuck, this is small-town Connecticut. They'll card."

"Relax S, I'm not here to get you drunk. Pubs serve food too, you know."

"What are you up to, then?"

"Like I said, I want to catch up. I wanted to see how you were doing, and there are some things I thought you should know.

"Fine." She moved away from his hand. "Let me just talk to my dorm head..."

"Serena van der Woodsen, playing by the rules." Chuck shook his head disdainfully. "Connecticut has made you soft."

"It's different here." She replied. "They worry if we go missing."

He opened the door and gestured to the limo waiting. "My car is leaving now. We won't be stopping by again. Aren't you even the least bit interested to hear me out?" His dark eyes bored into hers, daring her to test him.

Her facade began to crack under the weight of her curiosity. _The rule was stupid anyway... and it's not like he's driving. _A limo was essentially a taxi, and students were allowed to take those all the time. She got in.

The next two hours passed more like a silent duel than anything else, Chuck's unnerving presence gradually chipping away at Serena's icy and defensive posturing.

Though there was chilled champagne ice in the back of the limo, Chuck didn't reach for it. Serena took the opportunity of silence to studiously observe winter's effects on East Ridgewood through the tinted windows. As they passed the frozen river, she had to admit it's beauty was easier to observe from the heated interior of a car.

"Well, I confess your abrupt departure surprised even me. Switzerland with Georgina with its ski hills and snuggling up with royalty would have been more your style. But you honestly expect me to believe that Serena van der Woodsen, queen of the rule breaking crowd, _chose_ to hole herself up in small-town Connecticut and traded Contreau for curfews? You must not have had a lot of choice in the matter."

She gave him a withering glare. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He just smiled knowingly and turned to look at the passing scenery. He wasn't about to let go of that little gem of knowledge just yet. The end justified the mean. Results were all that mattered.

"Just that, unless I'm much mistaken, Jack's errand to go help that girl with her French project was a hasty diversion that you manufactured."

He wasn't making sense. "What would you know about helping your friends?" Serena replied deadpan.

"More than you give me credit for. You haven't told them about your past, have you?"

"Why should I?" She looked away. "It's irrelevant now."

"You can't deny who you are Serena. Don't ever try to."

They drove for the next twenty minutes in silence.

* * *

_S: "__I've missed your witty banter..."_

_C: __Let's catch up. Take our clothes off, stare at each other..._

_S: __How about I just get a bite to eat..."_

(Chuck and Serena, Pilot)

When they arrived at the pub, in an uncharacteristicly gentlemanly move, Chuck held the door for her as she stepped into a spacious room smelling of woodsmoke. The interior was reminiscent of an Elizabethan hunting lodge, with dark beams supporting the ceiling and white plaster walls covered with posters vaguely resembling medieval tapestries. There were even taxidermy heads of various animals peering down from the walls.

The server seated them beneath one of these, a great horned elk. Serena looked up at it in initial distaste, but it ended up not affecting her appetite. Both ordered steak for the main, (Serena choosing the Fillet Mignon and Chuck the sixteen ounce prime rib). They managed to get through the discourse civilly and superficially, Chuck relating the drama of the upper east side which made Serena laugh harder than she had in some time; and through carefully guided questions (deliberately chosen for their non-threatening nature) Chuck managed to get a glimpse into Serena's new life, and was repeatedly assured that whatever the stories he had heard, girls weren't as loose and free in Serena's school as they were in the other boarding school girls he came in contact with.

Yet as they were sharing a cheese plate for dessert, Serena voiced the inevitable.

"Chuck, why are you here?" She put a hand up to stop him before he began. "And please don't say you dropped by on a whim."

"Ah, I thought you preferred pleasure before business."

"Dinner was quite enough pleasure for this evening, thank you." She gestured to their demolished meal.

"Alright fine. To business."

Serena smiled sweetly.

"Blair sent me. I've come to bring you home."

All coherent thought rushed out of her head, and she was left momentarily speechless. Of all the things she had expected, supposed, feared he would say… well, that wasn't anywhere near one of them.

"She… she sentyou? Since when is the great Chuck Bass _sent_ anywhere?" _Well, at least it isn't to completely destroy me for sleeping with her boyfriend_. Serena thought. _That__ she would have wanted to do in person._

"Well, not in so many words… if she had been lucid enough to say anything, or come out of her apartment, well… she would be here." He trailed off. "Quite frankly, I'm surprised you haven't returned before this."

"Oh?"

"I know you Serena. There are few things in life you don't enjoy, but school work, rules, and remote unexotic locations are up there. I honestly thought you'd be back within two weeks of my hearing you'd left."

Serena stiffened. "Well, it's good to know I can surpass you're humble expectations."

"Clearly. You're a whole two months over my deadline."

She glared in response to his deadpan sarcasm. "People can change, you know."

"Like I said earlier, you can't deny who you are… but given recent events, I'll grant that there may have been hidden… facets so deeply buried neither I nor you realized they were there until the situation presented itself."

"What recent events?" A fist on the table punctuated each word. "Really Chuck, I have no idea what you're talking about."

He looked at her quizzically.

"I figured you were lying pretty low… but, Lily hasn't even talked to you about it?

"The last time we spoke was Saturday." She didn't mention that it was two Saturdays ago; they had had one of their tiffs not uncommon to their relationship (this one particular to spring break) but as this time it was conducted over the phone, Serena was waiting a few more days than normal to call her back…"

"When was the last time you talked to Blair?" He asked

The unexpected question jolted her out of her idle thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Blair -your sometimes best friend. When was the last time you talked?"

"Oh… a while."

"But you've been following up on GossipGirl's Blog?"

She hadn't had the courage to look at it since December.

"No."

"If you've cut yourself so entirely off… then I suppose you wouldn't have heard."

Heard what? She pushed away the half-empty cheese platter. She was far too exasperated to consider finishing it.

Chuck sat back and folded his hands, reciting his news as if he were speaking to a particularly dense child. "Mr. Waldorf has gone to Europe for an extended holiday in the company of a dashing male model. In short, he left her and her mother… for another man."

"WHAT?"

Chuck snorted as he stared at Serena's entirely abashed face. "Really, I think it's all rather commonplace, apart from the gender. Maybe I've seen too much… but little seems to shock me these days."

Mr. Waldorf left Mrs. Waldorf… a _male _model? Serena remembered him fondly, and not as the type of man to do such a thing. He doted on both his wife and daughter, and had assisted the latter in helping Serena out of many a scrape. In her mind, compared to her own absentee father, he was practically a saint!

"He actually left a few days ago." Chuck continued. "Ms. Waldorf and Blair had planned to keep it quiet, go on with life as if he were merely absent for a phase… but someone saw them together in San Tropez, and Gossip Girl broke the news yesterday…" Chuck continued. "Luckily, it was also a snow day, so she had an excuse not to attend school. Nate and I stopped by later, but only he was allowed in. I saw her, briefly. Her hair and makeup were utterly a mess, so unlike our Blair…"

"Yeah… that doesn't sound at all like her."

"Remember the time…" Chuck continued, nabbing the last piece of Brie with his fork. "During the Drezelli party, when you ate one of those 'magic' brownies, which the next morning you proceeded to upchuck along with about two liters of Grey Goose? Yeah. She looked worse than you did."

Serena cringed. That _was _bad…

"But what can I do?" Serena asked.

Chuck stared at her in shock. "You are her best friend, are you not? I can't believe I'm the one actually saying it, I really shouldn't have to… she _needs_ you. You have to come home."

She twisted a lock of hair between her fingers."Now's not a good time."

"So you're just going to hide out here while your best friend goes through this?"

"It's not that easy Chuck. It's the middle of classes here, I have commitments…"

"You left at the drop of a hat in December. Your Grandmother practically owns the school with the amount of money your grandfather left her. It can't be _that _hard…"

"I've made friends…"

"You have friends back home… or are you really so eager to forget?"

"You know, the more I remember, and the more people out here, I'm beginning to wonder how you ever managed to find friends in the first place." She snapped.

Chuck's eyes flashed, and Serena flinched. He looked… well, he would have looked hurt if he could manage such a thing. But, given his lack of personal attatchments there were few people in the world who could have 'hurt' him, and Serena was certainly not one of them. Even so he looked as miffed as Serena had ever seen him.

"Harsh words, van der Woodsen. But, then again, I never thought you'd have abandoned us so easily. Maybe you never cared for us at all."

They glared daggers at each other, and the waiter aptly not wanting a war to disturb the peace of the other patrons, quietly glided in with the check.

The drive back was likewise filled with a stony silence, but this time it depressed Serena. For better or worse, he was one of her oldest friends.

"I didn't want to leave New York." She began. "Not really. But, it finally just got too much to handle… City life is so…" Wounded, she searched for the words to describe her current predicament.

"Complicated?" Chuck offered it up to her.

"Huh?"

"Complicated. They say if you can make it in NYC, you can make it anywhere. Nothing else compares to the rush, the speed, the danger, the intoxicating and distracting quality of that city. It can give you everything, but the price is always high. It can eat you up."

"Yes…" She breathed out in a rush, relieved. "Until I got out here, I don't think I ever knew what peace really felt like."

"I think you're confusing peace with monotony… or maybe you've just realized how much of your soul you have intact." Chuck relented, but then smiled almost sadly at her. "So, you're not up to the battle of coming back?"

"I can't… and before you ask, no, I can't tell you why."

Chuck's expression changed from sadness to cynical in a flash.

"You think I don't know?"

_Tha-thump. _Suddenly, she became acutely aware of her heart skipping a beat, just as the limo stopped in front of her dorm. Chuck reached out for the door, his cheek almost brushing hers as he got up.

"I know everything." He whispered into her hair, and got out. She followed him out on shaky legs, but he was concentrating on getting the trunk open, and didn't notice.

"Here." He emerged ornately and opaquely wrapped large package. It concealed (as best Serena could tell) a large basket. A large, full,_ heavy_, basket, she realized he unexpectedly dropped into her automatically outstretched arms.

"Chuck, what on earth is this?" She asked, struggling to right herself.

"Consider it a care package, for those long and lonely winter nights."

"Really, you didn't have to."

"Oh please, it was a labor of… hope. Wait until I'm gone to open it, but let me know how you like it… I trust I remembered all your favorites." He winked.

She gave him an odd look, as he backed up towards the limo.

"Even if I hadn't overstayed my welcome, my father was expecting me back an hour ago. If you ever change your mind and don't want to bear the Metro-North line, you know how to get in touch... avideze." He tipped his hat to her, and got into the limo.

She said nothing, just gripped the handles of the basket tightly as she watched the limo sweep around the driveway, back across the lake and towards their shared past which, though she had tried long and hard to made peace with, was suddenly, incredibly and criplingly homesick for.

* * *

_S: "...I've been drinking on an empty stomach._

_C: __I heard you didn't do that anymore._

_S: …s__pecial occasion."_

(Chuck and Serena, Pilot)

The rest of Wednesday passed in a blur, punctuated only by the phone call that Serena finally returned to her mother.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about Mr. Waldorf!"

"Well honey, I figured you knew before I did." Mrs. Van Der Woodsen exclaimed. "It really isn't my place to gosisp about other peoples husbands. Besides I was waiting for you to return my phone call."

"As if that would have stopped you."

"What I can't believe." Is that Chuck, of all people, drove out there to give you the news. I knew that Blair was taking your absence badly, but I didn't realize that your fight was so serious."

"We haven't been fighting…" Unless two months of complete radio silence were any indication. "We just haven't been keeping in touch as much. You know I've never been able to do distance well."

"Well, I know you need your space is good and all, but really Serena you're only in Connecticut – you can hardly consider it a long-distance relationship."

She was just

"Well, thanks for reminding me how just how far I have to look…" But then she sighed, there was no point. She was in Connecticut, and for all intents and purposes, it was currently a world away. "So, can we talk about spring break now?"

Thursday proved to be a snow day as well. Serena stayed in her room all day, most of it flat on her back contemplating the ceiling and mulling over everything that had happened. Her world had, once again shifted around her almost imperceptibly, but she could feel its reverberations cracking the foundation on which she had layed her new life. Ashley gave her funny looks, but gave her space. Serena kept her phone on silent.

_Blair must be hurting… Just how much does he know? Where is Nate in all of this?_ The thoughts were circular, not making any sense, and their implications almost paralyzing.

At one point, curiosity got the better of her common sense, and she investigated the package nothing else to do, she retrieved the package from where it had sat near the foot of their bed.

She tore open the card, which turned out not to be from a gift-basket company, but a small handwritten note:

_Try not to drink it all in one sitting._

_xo, Chuck_

She wiggled the package, and sure enough it clinked. And in a flash, she remembered why she had left.

_Ugg… CHUCK!_ She thought out loud, and stuffed it into the back corner of her closet. She'd have to ask Ashley how to dispose of it later. She returned to her bed.

Friday, the roads were clean enough to open school, albeit with a two-hour delay. The V-Day dance, thus, would not be canceled. Many sighs of relief were breathed by the female underclassmen. Travis, however, was not there to join in their relief. He didn't show up for school that day.

"Maybe he couldn't get through." She postulated to Jack. On days where there was an early delay, day students were not penalized from missing classes if they felt it unsafe to travel.

It was dinner time, and they were both in the dining hall. Friday dinners were universally considered the absolutely worst meal of the week – all the leftovers going into some kind of casserole or soup. Serena wrinkled her nose at the minestrone. Though her stomach growled, she felt almost sick at the sight of it. She opted for dry toast and fat-free milk instead.

Jack, who routinely professed that he never had any beef *pun intended* with the school's fare, dug in heartily. "Nah, the highways are clear, and I've never known him to miss a day of school. Something's probably wrong." And then, eying her meager portion against his own, asked. "Is that all you're going to eat?"

"Yeah, I'm just not very hungry."

"You haven't been hungry since Wednesday. You feeling ok?"

"Sure." She shrugged as her nervous stomach muscles clenched around her minimal lunch.

"Well, maybe you have whatever Travis has."

"He's sick?"

"It's the only satisfactory explanation as to why he isn't here."

Jack was right, as he usually was, though she didn't expect to learn so from him. Instead, just as she got back after classes ended, she received a phone call from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hello… Serena?" An older woman's voice sounded on the line.

"Yes, this is she."

"Hi, this is Eileen… Travis's mom."

"Oh." Serena said, surprised. "Hello."

"I'm sorry for calling so unexpectedly, Travis would have called himself, but he's in no condition to talk right now. In fact, he's still sleeping."

"Is everything alright?"

"He's come down with a very very bad case of strep throat. He asked me that I call you and send his regrets, but he won't be able to make it to the Valentines Ball, or whatever it's called, that you're having."

Ah, the dance. Was it really this weekend? Had Travis really asked her just last week? Chuck's visit had warped her perception of space and time. Serena swayed against the mirror in her room, and put a hand to her head.

"Oh, right, the dance. Well, tell him not to worry and just to get rest and get better!" Her response was much more chipper than she felt. Serena really wasn't upset over the turn of events, she had almost completely forgotten about the dance, and she could still go.

No, her mood was simply further depressed after a day of near-isolation that her Friday night plans were reduced to something so menial, that a lame school dance for a lame holiday was the only thing to do.

"I'll let him know." Eileen responded, and paused so long that Serena thought she was waiting for her to say goodbye first. But then she added, "When we took him to the doctor, she mentioned that the incubation period for strep was about seven days. I know that boarders often let things go unchecked, so get to the health center as soon as you feel ill."

"Will do." Serena replied. "Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem. Have a good night."

As soon as she hung up, Serena dialed Jack.

"Travis's mom just called me. He has strep and isn't coming."

"We'll both be dateless then." Jack sounded pissed. "Sarah can't make it either. Western Mass is still buried."

"Awww… that sucks!" Serena's mood sank even further. Though Sarah's arrival had slipped her mind after the events of the previous day, Jack's mention reminded Serena how genuinely excited she had been Sarah. Jack was peculiar, and she was curious; curious to see what type of person could stand to date him… what kind of person he would date.

"Yeah, you must be disappointed too." Jack's voice cut into her thoughts.

"Yeah, I was excited to meet her."

"No, I mean about Travis not coming."

"Eh, whatever. It was just a dance, it's not like it was a real date."

_Really? _ Jack though, then asked, "Are you still going?"

"Maybe…" Though the more she thought about it, the more she realized how unappealing standing up awkwardly against a wall for two hours in the midst of loud music would. But, the alternative was sitting and watching movies in her common room alone – everyone else would probably be there, or on the movie trip which had been offered (but was now full). "Anyway, I'm sure I'll see you later."

"See ya." Jack signed off.

Serena pocketed the phone, and with two quick stretches flopped on the upper story of her bed, face up to the ceiling, staring blankly into space, trying not to let the twin pressures of boredom and indecision crush her.

This was how Ashley found her when she returned from her squash meet, nearly two hours later.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"Trying not to think."

"I thought you had a date to the V-Day dance."

Serena flipped over to her stomach, and planted a pillow back over her head, her voice muffled beond comprehension.

Ashley raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"

Serena marginally lifted up the pillow "Travis is sick, he can't come."

"Go anyway! A dress that pretty deserves to be seen." Ashley gestured to a garment de-wrinkling on the outside of their closet door.

"It already has been…"

They were referring to the hot red Dolce and Gabana slip dress that Serena's mom had had shipped up last week. It was a year out of season, something she had worn to her freshman formal. But still, she liked the contrast of the deep red of the sleeves and collar, and the lighter red of the body, and the way it contrasted with her long blond tresses. Seeing as she wore the same dress size as last year, and no one at Warwick had seen this dress, Serena didn't see any harm on asking her mother to mail it to her.

"Is Jack still going?"

"I don't know. Sarah couldn't make it up."

"Pity." Ashley said, not meaning it in the least. "So, you're just going to stay up in that bed all night and mope? Doesn't seem your style."

"I'm not moping." Serena stated into her comforter. "I'm not thinking."

"Oh, but there are so many more _fun _ways of not thinking."

"Like getting me drunk?" That strategy was the most well known, but out of the question.

"Like, watching a movie so startling and scary that you keep your eyes half-covered through the entire thing, running the loop on the school track until your legs give out, _finally _finishing those chemistry sets that you have been putting off, making out with that hot lacrosse player who you still haven't noticed is hot for you.

"Josh?" Serena snorted. "He's _definitely _in the closet. Getting me drunk would require less effort."

"I think you need to check your gay-dar, Serena. He's slept with half of the girls on third floor Barton Dorm. But anyway, I was talking about Damien."

Serena shrugged. "He never seemed that interested."

"You mean, because he isn't drooling all over you? He's a much cooler customer… and you've never been to one of his parties" and then she flashed her eyes back at Serena.

"Do you want to get drunk?"

"Why not?" The words was out of her mouth before she had a second thought, an intrinsic response. And before she had a chance to say, "Just kidding!" Ashley pounced.

"Getting you drunk could be stupid and dangerous…" She trailed off, thinking. "But since I've been stupid and dangerous in the past I'm not one to talk. Go check in, and I'll be ready when you get back."

"You'll get me drunk?" Serena had only been half-serious. "It'll take something stronger than the Merlot, or whatever red wine you have under your bed." _And I really don't want to bring out Chuck's stash right now…_

"Just make sure you talk to Ms. Robinson, not one of the prefects. Say that you have a migraine or something. Then she definitely won't disturb the room."

When she came back up, Ashley had changed into her pajamas and was sitting on a towel in the middle of the room, two bottles of generic shampoo next to her and two dixie cups in front of her

"I'm not going to tell you what's in these," she said, patting the shampoo bottles, "Only that it doesn't contain sodium-laureth-sulfate. I'm willing to share my stash, but you're going to have to earn it."

Serena raised an eyebrow.

A feline grin spread across Ashley's face. "Don't worry, it's just going to be a little game of Truth or Dare."

Serena had played Truth of Dare with Blair before, she knew what to expect. But this game was brutal.

For one thing, since only two people were involved they were drinking every round. For another thing, the amount poured into the performer's cup was directly related to how long it took them to answer the asker's question. Thus, the longer it took, the more drink was poured in.

For another, Serena couldn't precisely tell how much alcohol was contained in the concoction in her shampoo bottle. She _thought_ she could taste Bacardi and Triple Sec, but its concentration was masked by pomegranate and coconut flavoring. After twenty rounds (ten Dixie cup shots each) she felt tipsy, but figured that she feel any more drunk than when she had had three shots total. And Ashley seemed little worse for the wear. Each girl had a bottle of her own, the idea being whoever got the other to finish their bottle first 'won'. Serena never questioned whether Ashley's bottle contained the same amount of liquid to start with (it did) or had the same concentration of alcohol (it didn't). By the time the levels of their intoxication became noticeable, Serena was too far gone to question difference. Ashley was smaller than she was, but was also an athlete…

Then again, Serena hadn't exactly eaten a proper meal since Wednesday morning, or had a proper drink since December.

Ashley had obviously played this before. She started off slow, asking Serena petty things about her life at home, and then, gradually, got more personal as Serena got more and more intoxicated.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Of all the schools you could have gone to, why'd you pick Warwick?"

"Oh…" Serena puffed some hair out of her face as Ashley started pouring the cup… "I can't remember."

"That's not an answer!" Ashley continued to pour liquid into the cup. "You only arrived a few months ago."

"Ah!" Serena raised a pointed finger towards the ceiling in mock instruction. "But I applied for my Freshman year, and _that _was a long time ago. I guess I 'picked' it because they let me in on such short notice. I don't really remember why I liked it in the first place."

"Touche." Ashley replied, topping off the half-filled glass just as Serena grabbed and downed it.

"Truth or dare?" Serena asked.

"Truth."

"Why do you risk drinking here?"

Ashley shrugged. "Drinking's my escape, my way of rebelling against the institution."

Ashley's answer had been so fast that Serena had barely had time to fill her cup with a centimeter of liquid. "Awww… you're no fun."

"Nah, I've just practiced. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"You said Warwick let you in on short notice; why'd you decide to suddenly pack up everything and come here?"

As this question reached Serena through the encroaching haze of her intoxication, her eyes and face remained blank. But neither did she speak, instead watching in seeming fascination as Ashley let the clear red liquid swish into her Dixie cup. As soon as it reached the top, she took it and downed it.

At this, Ashley didn't even bat an eye. "Well, it's clearly not a simple explanation, is it?"

Serena shrugged. "Truth or dare?"

"Oh no, it's still my turn! Since you reneged on the truth, you'll have to do the dare, and I dare you…" There was a gleam in her eye that Serena cringed at, like the eye of a tigress who is about to pounce on its prey and knows that the prey knows that there is nothing it can do to stop…

"I dare you… to put on the dress."

"O…kay. That's all?"

"Put it on, I want to see you in it!

After she did just that, Serena emerged from the closet and was greeted by Ashley's eyebrows skyrocketing upwards.

"Wow." She said. "If my mother had seen _me_ in that thing, she wouldn't let me out of the house, much less mail it to me.

Serena looked at herself in the full length mirrors and started to giggle. The dress should have been modest… well, modest for her. It _was _modest last year. The bell three quarter length sleeves gave way to a scoop neckline which showed only her well defined clavicle bone and not even the barest hint of cleavage. The dress wasn't at all fitted, and it's red-silk didn't cling to her bust, the gold-chain belt was the only thing which gave a hint of a waist. Below that belt, though…

She had been wrong about not growing; her legs at least must have gotten longer since last winter, because she definitely didn't remember the dress being so short. Her hips must also have gotten wider because though the dress flared at the hips, the fabric grabbed her butt so tightly that the line of her thong was pronounced. She measured three fingers of fabric between where her pelvis ended, and miles and miles of her long legs began, finally ending in the gaudy golden heels that she almost hadn't brought.

"It is a bit… shorter than I remember." She admitted, finally.

_Though, really, I don't look have bad…__ it's a good thing I shaved my legs this morning._

"So, Truth or dare?" Serena asked.

"Oh, you don't get off that easy!" Ashley said, and went over to the bed. "You reneged on a truth – you get double dares now! So, I double dare you to call Jack."

"Lame!" Serena exclaimed as she kicked the shoes off blew a large chunk of hair out of her face. Her coordination was off, and she threw her arms up to the ceiling to balance.

"I still want you to do it!" Ashley handed Serena the phone. "I took the liberty of dialing."

"Ashley?" Jack's voice emerged from Serena's outstretched hand.

Serena gave a very undignified squawk as she grappled for the phone.

"Hey Jack, it's Serena."

"Oh hi, whats up?"

"Not much, I was contemplating going over to the dance. Where are you?"

"In my room.

"It's not even nine o'clock on Friday and you're already in bed? I expected more excitement."

She could hear the sarcasm building in his voice, and she decided to play along in a different way than their usual witty banter. "Well, you've never visited my bed, so clearly you have no idea how exciting I can make it…"

She could almost see Jack's face deadpanned on the other end, his silence speaking volumes. He wasn't about to take her reel.

She sighed. "Fine. We're playing Truth or Dare."

"Serena…" Jack's voice was upraised. "Have you been drinking?"

"Mhm… a little…"

Ashley grabbed the phone from her. "She's wearing a really really hot dre-ess… you should come over and visit."

Serena made a swipe for the phone as Jack's laugh exploded on the end. "Serena in a dress? You've got to be kidding me."

"I can be very feminine when I want to be…" She protested, loud enough for Ashley to shush her as she handed her back the phone.

"Well, as attractive as you sound right now, don't get too much more intoxicated. It's really not a good idea to risk that kind of behavior."

Serena stuck her tongue out at the receiver. "You're no fun!"

"Maybe not, but I'm going to have some."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I'm going to go watch the day-student lacrosse players make fools of themselves."

"Mmm… lacrosse players. I've heard they're easy. Maybe I'll see you there."

"Please don't!" He said, in a genuinely discouraging tone. "If you're half as buzzed as you sound, you'll never get past Ms. Robinson without a breathylizer test. Later!"

She stuck her tongue out again in reply, and clicked off the phone.

"My my, someone's feeling frisky." Ashley commented.

Serena sighed, and flopped back on to the floor. "My flirting skills seem to have degenerated in recent months. Six months ago I could have made him much more respective."

"I think you mean responsive… but I'd say you did good. Jack's not you're average guy to mess with." Ashley headed for the door. "I'm gonna pee. Drink up the rest of your shot and figure out what to ask me."

Serena began to think … but within three seconds her mind wandered. Jack's lack of interest had perturbed her more than Ashley knew. It was indication that now, on top of having a non-existent social life, her flirting skills were getting rusty.

Jack _should _have been more receptive, any extroverted seventeen-year-old male would have been. True, he had a girlfriend, but he wasn't blind to her attractiveness. Indeed, it was _him_ that said, when Serena had protested his first attentions, that just because he enjoyed looking at the candy in the shop didn't mean he was going to buy packed her off to bed for crying out loud!

_Well, he said something like that…_

Could two months change so much? Even two months ago she had more action than she could handle…

As she leaned back onto Ashley's bed, memories of the last night she _had _gotten action unexpectedly broke free of the tight lid she had encased them in. They came roaring back at her with a clarity she didn't think possible given her state of intoxication both presently and in the past. Nate, grabbing her off the bar stool, his hands being everywhere; matted in her hair, tracing her arms, running up her legs … and then Pete was there too, rubbing her back, holding her, kissing her cheek, lips, shoulders…

Fuzzier memories of what happened caused a most uncomfortable ache to settle in her stomach. yet it didn't quench the warm glow below it which the alcohol had started…

She caught her breath as a shiver of anguished pleasure curled down her spine.

God alcohol made her horny.

Her legs wobbled as she stood up, but in her eyes was a new gleam of steely resolve. Jack had always been a challenge, but tonight, she would make him cave.

"Sorry that took so long. I ran into…" Ashley stopped in mid-sentence as she took in the scene. Sensing movement out of the corner of her eye, she turned, hoping. But it was only her suddenly pale face in the mirror. Quickly making her way over to the center of the room, she picked up the shampoo bottle Serena had been drinking from. It, as well as hers, was empty. Serena and her gold strappy sandals were no where to be seen.

"Oh hell!"

**Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated.**

**-LJacobs**


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